Thursday, August 14, 2014

Check, Please

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My co-worker and I were talking about the problem of dining out with a group of friends.  You know.  The check shows up and there is always an issue.  The porker that ordered lobster and 5 cocktails suggests that the bill be split evenly -- even though everyone else just ordered a modestly priced meal and a single solitary drink.  Then there is the friend that never puts in enough money and everyone else has to overcompensate for her cheap ass.  Then there is the friend that ALWAYS sends her food back (I'm talking about YOU, Stacey!  Who sends WAFFLES back to the kitchen?!?!?!).  Then there is the friend that thinks a 10% tip is more than enough.  It's annoying.

My co-worker mentioned that she has one friend in her social circle that is invited when the group goes out to eat.  This chick never orders anything.  No food.  No drink.  Just water.  She just sits and talks and drinks her water while everybody else enjoys their food.  And, obviously, she doesn't pitch in when the bill comes.

I think this is HILARIOUS.  Pretty much a social faux pas (or as my dad pronounces it, "fox pox") in my book, but she avoids the bill problems mentioned above. 

My sister told me that a former friend of ours was at a group dinner in a restaurant.  Instead of ordering food and drink like a normal human being, she announced that she was doing a cleanse, and she pulled out her own sack lunch and ate from it.  HELLO TACKY!

Long ago I used to babysit for a family.  They had a nice house.  He made good money.  The wife mentioned that they were all (a family of four) going to the movies, and that she bought a ticket for herself and for the two kids, but that she didn't buy a ticket for the husband. So I asked why. She said, "Oh Michael won't pay to see movies on principle." ?!?!?!? WTF!!!! So each time they would go to the movies, the wife/mom would pay for tickets for herself and the kids, and then go in to the theater and sit.  And then her jerk-off husband Michael would arrive later, and tell the movie people that his wife had already bought his ticket and that he was meeting her inside.  What a jerk.  I can only imagine what he would be like at a restaurant.





Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Corey Grayhorse



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As a native of Venice, California, both culture and environment have influenced my art. A desire to capture imaginative composition led to a study of photography at Santa Monica College. There, I infused my work with the color and flavor of an eclectic and eccentric community. I relocated to Providence, Rhode Island in 2001, and continued to develop as a photographer.

My work is contemporary and studied; everything is by design. A wide-ranging influence of styles in art, photography, fashion, and set design, as well as traditional and pop culture inform my perspective. My trademarks of color, composition, and lighting are apparent as consistent threads throughout my work. All of these serve as a strong narrative in each piece.

Attention to detail and artful manipulation of the medium elevate my work beyond just photography. This process involves the creation of elaborate sets and costumes. Each element is thought out and carefully placed as part of the story. In a sense, these sets are installations and performance art constructed and acted solely by me. Through the addition of characters, my portraits show a deep interest in the human expression. Use of a fish eye lens creates strange beauty and satire, eliciting emotional and social responses. Frozen in time through photography, the work becomes a window into a fantastic dream world, drawing my audience in.

In my world, Japanese Street Culture collides with Haute Couture, and Hello Kitty courts Marie Antoinette. I take these icons from their original context and superimpose them into a new one, contrasting the traditional with the contemporary. My images are fresh and lively, and it is clear that I have as much fun making them, as the spectator has viewing them.


text above found here


Monday, August 4, 2014

A Mixed Bag

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The card says, "happy birthday...cake killer".  Yep, today is my birthday.

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Last week I celebrated my 44th birthday.  I was lucky enough to take a few days off of work, and I was giddy at the prospect of having FREE TIME to do fun things. 

Long ago the boyfriend asked what I wanted to do for the big day, and I asked him to take me to the Orange County Fair.  I LOVE going to the fair.  Total Americana -- a cheesefest of ridiculous and tacky fun.

In some ways I was dreading my birthday -- not the getting older part -- getting older beats the alternative!  My mom went in for a colonoscopy about two weeks ago, and unfortunately they found cancer.  She was scheduled for a consultation the day of my birthday, where she would find out preliminary plans for removal and treatment.  I kept hoping for the best possible news -- chanting "minimal and minor" to myself over and over again -- but trying to brace myself for the worst.  Once you are on the worrying end of bad health news (for yourself or a loved one) it is hard to stop thinking about it.  

The boyfriend and I were on our way to the fair when I received a text from my mom.  She said she was facing very complicated surgery and a week-long stay in the hospital (?!?!?!?!?!), plus treatment -- most likely radiation.  

Needless to say the news hit me hard.  TEARS.  It just sucks ass so much when you get bad news and you can't really DO much about it except tell your mom that you love her, that you have her back, and that you are hoping for the best.  It is so hard.  This will be my mom's second bout with cancer -- she had breast cancer about 30 years ago.  She is 71 now, and she has to face it again.  It just sucks.  

We were just a couple of miles from the fair when I got the update from my mom.  The boyfriend asked what I wanted to do, and I figured we were so close to the fair that we might as well continue on our way and make the best of a tough day. 

Due to my nervous state worrying about my mom, combined with an atypical attempt to be semi/sort of/quasi-calorie conscious, I ate next to nothing all day so that I could eat a bunch of junk food at the fair.  By the time we arrived in the late afternoon, I was really really hungry.  We made our way in to the fair and stopped at a stand to get a bacon-wrapped hot dog and lemonade.  We found a table, sat down, and started grubbing.  I took a bite or two of the hot dog and washed it down with some lemonade.  And then it happened.  The hot dog bite was lodged in my throat.  I couldn't breathe.  I was sputtering.  Tears were coming out of my eyes.  Lemonade (or something else?) was coming out of my nose.  The food wouldn't go down my throat, and it wouldn't come up.  It all happened so fast and I didn't know what to do.  The boyfriend was nom-nom-nomming away at his food and then it registered that something was wrong with me.  I stood up in panic and didn't even have time to think JESUS H. CHRIST AM I GOING TO DIE CHOKING ON A FUCKING HOT DOG ON MY BIRTHDAY AT THE ORANGE COUNTY FAIR?!?!??!?!?!  The boyfriend jumped up when he saw my panic-stricken, unable to breathe/speak face, and he grabbed me from behind and did the Heimlich maneuver on me.  And out popped the offending object and I gasped for air and just stood there horrified and mortified, but happy to be breathing again (and hoping I hadn't ruined my dress with the MESS of it all).  Of course there were a scrillion people around us that witnessed the whole thing.  SO FUCKING EMBARRASSING.  But hell, at least I lived to tell the story. Possible bonus to the whole stupid affair?  All in all, my fair day calorie consumption ended up being nowhere near what I was anticipating. :[

Needless to say, the boyfriend was rather pleased with his performance and could NOT stop saying, "I saved your LIFE!  I saved your LIFE today!  This is the best day EVER!!!"

We ended up having a great time on my birthday, even though sadness and worry [and hot dog humiliation] kept invading my thoughts.

So...back to my mom.  I am worried about her, but I am trying to keep a grip and hope for the best.  I am mad she has to go through the fucking bullshit of cancer again.  And I am pissed that colon/rectal cancer is yet another stupid health problem that my siblings and I have to worry about (in addition to breast cancer, uterine cancer and ovarian cancer -- talk about winning the health lottery).  

On a cheerier note, it has been good to keep in frequent communication with my mom.  She is scared.  She is worried.  She is being honest about it all.  And she wants to do whatever needs to be done to stick around on this insane planet as long as possible.  Sometimes she wants to talk about her situation, and sometimes she doesn't.  I guess we just navigate it as best we can.  Somehow my mom and I have even found a few things to laugh about together (her truly mortifying enema stories had us both cracking up hysterically in horror, but I'll spare you those details).  So the future is uncertain, and it is scary, but we are hopeful and just taking it -- I know it is cliche to say it -- one step at a time. 



Sunday, August 3, 2014

Go Dodgers! / ScoreBig.com


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I took a few days off of work last week to celebrate my birthday (more on some of this later -- I am still processing everything that happened, and trying to figure out what to write and what NOT to write).  The boyfriend and I tried to pack as much fun in our week as possible, and we landed AWESOME Dodger tickets via ScoreBig.com (ScoreBig.com has an easy-to-use service -- just go to their website, find the sports/theatre/concert event you want to attend, figure out a date that works with your schedule, find seats that look appealing, and make a bid on what you are willing to pay).  It took all of 5 minutes to land a great deal on super loge seats (ok, I low-balled on my first bid -- a girl has to try -- my first offer wasn't accepted, but after I increased my bid by $5 my second bid was accepted).  WHEE!  And we randomly happened to attend a Dodger game the night they gave out free bobbleheads.  Yay!   

Do you like going to sports events?  Truth be told, sports are NOT my thing, but I like going to the occasional game -- mostly for the food and the people-watching.  It makes it even more fun to attend on a summer night when heat has cooled a bit, when you happen to have seats next to really nice people that share their peanuts (!), all the while the team you are rooting for is #1 and on a roll.  Nice!  

A big thank you to ScoreBig.com for the easy easy easy process, and for the amazing deal on tickets.  I can't wait to use the service again.  :)