Do you ever read the sex advice column Savage Love by Dan Savage? I love reading about people's sex problems and the advice that is doled out to them. Yay for Dan Savage and for all those that write to him.
Anywhoo, here is the a copy of his latest column:
Don't Talk Up Your Cock. Plus, Can I Dump My Mom?
By Dan Savage
Thursday, July 23, 2009
I'm a straight guy, and my first girl was very experienced—she was proud to say she'd been with at least 30 guys before me. When all was said and done, she said that I was the most well-endowed of any man she'd seen before.
In all my subsequent experiences, the women I've been with have noted that I am a well-equipped dude, though none of them expected it. A couple of times, this fact has come up in conversation (that first lady made a point of passing this news on to friends), and most people's reaction is to say that I'm just so unassuming that they wouldn't expect that from me. It's true; I'm rather shy. When it comes to women, I am the complete opposite of cocky.
So here's my question: Should I be advertising my "gift"? Am I supposed to be sharing my size with the world with the hopes that it pays off? Can it help me with the opposite sex to be sharing this fact early, or am I better off just letting the surprise kick in once it's time to get naked?
— Huge Hugh
It's better to be a nice, unassuming guy with a surprise in his briefs than it is to be another douchebag always going on about his cock, HH. And it doesn't sound like you really need to talk up your cock: At least one of the women you've slept with is doing that for you. Good word of mouth is the best advertising, HH, so chill.
I am a 21-year-old bisexual female. I've never really been close with my mum, and since I moved away from home three years ago it's gotten worse. I know that she loves me because I'm her daughter, but I don't think she likes the young adult I'm growing into. Yet she insists I visit her and stay at her house for weeks when I have time off from college so she can talk me out of liking anything she hates. When I'm with my friends, I'm quite witty and outgoing, particularly about sex. But when I stay with her, my personality becomes crippled and stunted by her authority. I seem to just end up not saying anything at all for fear of offending her. Last year I stupidly told her that I like watching porn, now it's something that she's always bringing up. For example, I got into a conversation with her about a recent breakup and asked her if all men were like my cheating ex. She told me that she thought his cheating was my fault—because I watch porn, she said, I must have been sending out subliminal messages that I approve of women being sexually exploited.
She raised me to be a feminist, but I can't bring myself to ask her if she would kick up this much of a fuss if I were a 21-year-old man who watched porn. I don't know what to do to make her happy, short of having some sort of aversion therapy. I feel really conflicted: Away from my mother, I feel like a confident, empowered young woman in my social life and my sex life; when I'm with her, I feel like this mute, angry, introverted little victim.
I know exactly what I'd do if this were a relationship, but how should I resolve a difficult mother/daughter relationship?
— Can I Dump My Mother?
If hanging out with your mother makes you miserable, CIDMM, don't hang out with your fucking mother. You're a 21-year-old adult—not a young adult, not someone "growing into" adulthood, but an adult already—and you're in no way obligated to spend all of your free time under your mother's roof. Head off with your friends over college breaks, travel, watch porn. (Or better yet: Make some porn—see thestranger.com/hump for details!) Head home for the holidays if you must. And since your mother is inclined to use the details of your personal life that you share with her against you, don't tell her anything about your personal life. Visit with your mother when you're home, don't let her depose you.
To read more, check out Dan Savage's column here.