Have you ever gone in for medical tests and been afraid to receive the results?
My Mom had breast cancer at 42, so for most of my life I have worried that I might have the same fate. I am 39 years old at this point, and have had mammograms for the last three years due to my family history.
I went in for a mammogram last week. I hate the whole mammogram thing -- it is unnerving to me both mentally and physically.
The waiting room is usually filled with unhappy looking women that are much older than me, and they tend to tell me that I look way too young to be getting a mammogram. And then I tell them that my Mom had breast cancer at 42. After they hear that bit of info they tend to clam up and look at the floor. It isn't comforting.
Physically the process isn't THAT bad, but it is uncomfortable. And awkward. And a bit embarrassing, especially when you catch the technician checking out your tits on the sly. But that stuff really doesn't matter much. And if anyone is facing their first mammogram, I would recommend NOT going the week before your period as a mammogram becomes even more uncomfortable and even more painful if your breasts are already hurting before they are put in that fucking panini press mammogram machine. (Side note: SOMEBODY NEEDS TO MAKE BETTER EQUIPMENT FOR MAMMOGRAMS ALREADY. IT IS A FUCKING BULLSHIT DESIGN AND THERE MUST BE A BETTER WAY. IF GUYS HAD TO FACE PUTTING THEIR BALLS IN A VICE, I AM PRETTY SURE AN ALTERNATIVE WOULD BE DEVELOPED QUICKLY).
If all goes well after getting a mammogram, they send you a letter within about 10 days giving you the all clear. I was hoping to get my letter before Thanksgiving so that I could enjoy the holiday. Instead I got a call at work today, and the technician told me they might have found a problem with my left breast. I have to go back on Wednesday for more tests. I am hoping for the best but fearing the worst.
Maybe some of you can relate to this? Maybe? I am trying not to panic. What will be will be, but it is a hell of a mind fuck. TBC. So here I sit waiting, dreading, fretting. UGH.