Friday, March 5, 2010

Please Be Seated

Generally I prefer sitting to standing, but I'd really rather not take a seat in any of these places.


f5163ddeaf11c338bfab035a769ccafe

bus-stop-web_001

courtroom

examination_table_4242

2663693670_a5580d7cf8_o

airline_seating

FerrisWheel

k3wheelchair

porta-potty

jail_cell

3472104187_a511d8dd75_b

Yesterday I had to park my ass in the dentist chair. 45 minutes later I was drooling with a numb face, and I was forking over $240 to have one silver filling replaced with some sort of white crap. Fertheloveofgawd. $240 for 45 minutes worth of work? And I have to go back and have it done AGAIN. ARGH. I figure the materials cost about $5, so that guy is pulling in $313.33 per hour ($240 - 5 / .75 = $313.3333333). CHRIST. Why didn't I go to dental school? Oh wait. Maybe because the thought of putting my hands in other people's mouths is really revolting. Grumble grumble.

Speaking of other places I have no interest in sitting....it is looking like I get to plant my ass in a church pew for Easter Sunday. HOLY FUCKING HELL, you have no idea how horrifying that is to me. I would almost rather sit in an electric chair.

45 comments:

Char said...

i can tolerate church better than the dentist chair...or most any of the others, except airplane. i love being on an airplane if i'm going someplace exciting.

Susan Erickson said...

A church pew is one place I avoid...Hard and uncomfortable and then they try to guilt you out!

Melanie's Randomness said...

I hate the dentist chair!!!! my dentist told me one day that I didn't have a pretty smile so ever since that day I dread that chair! I hope your face is feeling better!!!

Oh porta johns. Eww. They are the scummy things ever!!

bananas. said...

the dentist chair = the electric chair...in my eyes anyway.

and a church pew?! oh man! haven't seen one of those in YEARS!!! good luck with all that.

happy friday j!

ps. you're hilarious!!!

uglygirl said...

Does anyone use those stirrup chairs any more? I've only seen the stirrups used in the operating theatre and only after the patient has been put under (maybe to save them the indignity).

Kitty Stampede said...

wahahaha...awwww....poor drollski and the bad dentist stuff...blechs. i feel your pain.
good choices on the chairs...portapotties make me cringe and dry heave.
Good Luck with church!!
is it easter this weekend...wtf??
i am so not with it lately..holy.

Tia said...

I hate the dentist. Actually, the only thing I loathe more than religion and taxes is the dentist. If it wasn't for people getting married and forcing me to be a bridesmaid, I would NEVER enter a church again. Boo.

Vivienne said...

Perhaps you should choose a church with comfy seats? Mine has cupholders. Seriously.
No to the stirrups and porta potties. ew

diane said...

I rather enjoy the fact that my presence in church makes others feel uncomfortable. The last time I was in church was Christmas mass several years ago. There's a beautiful Russian Orthodox church in my neighborhood, and my MIL & I thought it would be kind of groovy to go. We didn't know anyone else there, so naturally we sat front & center. Haha, it was great!

TERI REES WANG said...

Maybe you would find it more entertaining if you sat your self on church pew to pray and beg to have wooden teeth, and then book yourself in the mercy of the dentist's chair at high noon on Easter Sunday ..?

It could happen. ;$

Ela said...

I hate ferris wheels!!!
I rode a scenic one in Niagara but it takes like 5 minutes to make the rull rotation so it was more like sitting in a very slow elevator. That I could handle.

Sorry about your dentist expenses. That is crazy. He's so going on an all inclusive courtesy of my fave droll girl. Have I told you I wanted to be a dentist when I was younger? Don't hate me.

Happy Friday!!!

p.s. Yes, I had 2 full bladder ultrasounds this weekend. I just hope it was worth it, LOL.

Oh and the car was deemed "unsafe to drive" so at least we got a rental right away :)

Laura Trevey said...

We have a port-a-pottie in our driveway right now during the renovation! Let me tell you, that doesn't add to the neighborhood charm!!

Have a great weekend!
xoxo Laura

Liz said...

Oh god I'm with you on the whole dentist overcharge crud. Srsly. This post made me crack up though with all your pictures of where you'd rather not be haha.

Christina In Wonderland said...

Dentist hatred- check.
Bus stop hatred- check.
Church pew hatred- check.
Ferris wheel hatred- double check.

I'm totally with you on all of the evilness pictures posted. Sometimes standing is a way better alternative.

Kirsty said...

Ugh. I haven't been to the dentist in about two years... must go again soon, but UGH! And oh yes the stirrups.

Iva said...

ACK!!! Those seats all blow. I've seen that dentist seat a few to many times too lately! bleh. what a drag. and the whole numb face is seriously irritating. I am so sorry...for the seat, the numb face...AND the bills. AND....heres to a super fast Easter Sunday sitting!!!

Happy Friday oh fabulous one!! I hope you have an awesome weekend!!

Down and Out Chic said...

oh gawd i hate the dentist and i'm with you on all these other places to sit as well. i'm attending a wedding at the end of march in a huge church in atlanta and i'm worried i'm going to catch fire as soon as i step inside. ugh.

Pretty Little World said...

The only one of these that I don't find insanely uncomfortable is the ferris wheel. But I may never ride one again as B. is deathly afraid of heights -- you'd get him in the electric chair before you'd see him on a ferris wheel :)

Caroline said...

Oh Lord...you crack me up. No church pew for me either thank you very much.

SabinePsynopsis said...

Poor you! Teeth are a pain (physically and financially)! I spent 1000s last year, it was horrendous. Every time I chew now I fear one of the fillings might get loose and I have to go back. With you on all the sitting facilities, but planes, though not great, are at least often the easiest way to get somewhere, me think.

jennifer from pittsburgh said...

OH! *hugs* Dental work is the WORST!!! Worse even than church because of the cost. The pain is the same.
I have to go to church on Easter too. MK forces me to, so that I don't end up in one of the bad levels of hell. I'm guessing that a good level of hell is like vacationing for all eternity at a Motel 6 in Detroit.

Bathwater said...

dentist school would have been nice except for the whole going into peoples grosses mouths!

Christiejolu said...

I hate the dentist! BUt I would rather sit there than in a J-john or a jail cell I guess.

creative kerfuffle said...

while job hunting i have discovered that i'm in the wrong profession---sales, medical/dental would have been the way to go. sad. and i love how you said holy fucking hell and church in the same sentence : )

Cheryl said...

Ha, ha! That church photo was really funny after all the rest. And thanks for reminding me. I keep forgetting Easter comes once a year. Sigh...time to ditch the family reunion once again.

Alisa said...

You make me laugh!

Heather Taylor said...

Does anyone enjoy sitting in these places? Anyone? I hope not. I hate the dentist chair the most. My denist just loves to talk to me and ask me questions while he's drilling in my gums and there's a saliva sucking machine in the other side of my mouth. And once I had a dentist named Dr. Pulley. Not even kidding with that one.

Haute World said...

I'm lucky my teeth are good, though I still don't enjoy sitting in any type of doctor's chair. I'm with you on the church thing though. Thankfully the only time I go is if I'm a tourist - not for any religious reasons. Sorry you have to go through that on Easter Sunday!

WendyB said...

I don't mind Ferris wheels. Have spent too much time in a dentist's chair recently.

Raez said...

Haha, dude, I feel your pain! I'm so glad I'll be somewhere in Europe on easter and away from my freakishly religious parents!

good luck with them fillings, girl. will be getting my wisdoms pulled in a few months, probably. gee, i can't wait...

xx raez

blueviolet said...

I'm not sitting in a port-o-potty ever!!!!

Diana said...

I just went to the dentist recently and it HURT and it was super expensive for a cleaning.

i understand about pew's- I do go to church but I'll admit when I listen to Christian "contemporary" music, I have major stomach issues and get bad anxiety.

Claire Kiefer said...

Oh man I just went to the dentist on Tuesday . . . $261 for a cleaning and some simple x-rays! Not to mention the over $2k in work I need done . . . ay yay yay this business is freakin' criminal!

I'd take the gynecologist's stirrups any day. UGH.

Tom Tuttle from Tacoma said...

lol. cute post. lately i have friends and colleagues being forced to sit in the dentist's chair at the last minute. the best quote goes like this: i've never been so desperate over a tooth." poor girl had a toothache but she endured the 1st half of a training session.

i think i understand what you're saying about sitting in a church pew. but it's really not meant to be so hard (ok yes the seats are probably hard).

Asylum dolly said...

Oh man you are making me LOL :D
I am at a loss as to why dental work is so fucking expensive! There is something seriously wrong with the way the dental system operates. Grrrrrr.Dentists are raking it in. I realise they're doing a specialty job, but that's just ridiculous.
Eek! Church. I feel for you! I hope it's over quickly!

p.s. I looked up Andy Samberg on youtube, and I realised i HAVE seen him in action! I saw that "jizzed in my pants" song ages ago! Funny! Yep, i'd do him ;)

Jill said...

Become a lapsed catholic like me! Eat meat on Fridays...be a rebel.

I had a dentist guest at my last dinner party. I didn't know what he did for a living. He told me when I asked...and I blurted out something like...why would you pick such a disgusting field?! I was a terrible hostess!

frenchie said...

about 2 years ago i had to go to my mom's dentist. she didn't tell me he was young and super SU-PER hot!!
only time it wasn't horrible!

Savvy Gal said...

LOL... I am with you. The thought of visiting a dentist makes me feel faint already. : )

pearls said...

i would rather have lunch in one of those port-O-potty's then get on that airplane.

Bitsy said...

I have been asked to be godmother to my friends child (god knows why... I am rubbish. Kids just cry at me) and the thing is on Easter sunday. A catholic mass on easter sunday. Oh good. All I want to do is make up for all the lost time over lent and stuff my face with chocolate but no I have to be proper. Boooooooooooo.

Kristin said...

Uggh. I do not envy you. I've been there way too often!

...love Maegan said...

omg I love these images. love love love.

I can't believe you agreed to go to church. I straight tell my mom NO

victoria.renee said...

what an awesome post! and i agree, i wouldn't like to sit in any of those places either. also, the gyno's chair might be the worst place on earth, except of course if female hysteria ever comes back into style.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_hysteria

amy @ switz~art said...

dentists chairs blow, and so does church. i especially hate planes...the cramped seating and being confined in a metal cylinder at 35,000ft...ugh. i'd rather be in an electric chair!

Miami luxury hotels said...

Hahaha, I totally agree with you. I wouldn't like to sit in any places you mentioned, from the dentist chair to the church. But the scariest one is plane to me.