Saturday, April 17, 2010

WTF

Here's my latest on-line dating story.

The fella below said he was interested in me. So I clicked on his profile and looked at his pics, including the one below. He seemed to be mildly intriguing and a lot more attractive than the gargoyles that have expressed an interest in me. So I was looking at his two pictures, and this picture had something in it that I found strange. Very strange. Perplexing.

Just look. Do you see it? I am a total weirdo, so don't feel bad if you don't see anything abnormal in this picture.

Pic 1

You can click the pic to enlarge if you want.

Still don't know what I'm talking about? Well, what is that white packaged thing on his stomach? Hell, it looks like a MAXI PAD to me. WTF? What the hell is it? If it isn't a maxi pad, what else could it be? If it IS a maxi pad, why does he have it?

So this mystery was driving me bonkers all day, and I decided FUCK IT. I'LL JUST ASK HIM.

So here is a recap of our email exchanges:

ME: howdy, handsome. just curious....what is sitting on your tummy? yes, i realize that is a stupid question, but i am a curious girl. a hahhaha

HIS REPLY: I am a conservative

UM, what the hell is that supposed to mean? Is there some secret conservative sign I don't know about?

If any of you can enlighten me, PLEASE DO SO.


P.S. His follow up email to me said: You are very pretty.

67 comments:

Iva said...

"gargoyles " HAHHAHAHHAHHAHA. killing me. hilarious.

this whole picture AND exchange situation is confusing for sure. and I WANT HIM TO ANSWER. ANSWER THE QUESTION. I have no idea what his response was suppose to mean. I really hope someone can answer it lol..other then me leaning toward it meaning...that he is conservative in preferring ladies to use pads and not tampons. LAME. LOL.

although clearly he knows what he is talking about.....you are very pretty for sure {yup. I can see that based entirely on your coolness as drollgirl!! you are one super cute kitty cat ;) LOL}

Christiejolu said...

Well he is cute, but that does look like a pad on his stomache. I hope when you get to the bottom of this you let us know.

sherri said...

that is a tad freaky. is it kleenex, perhaps (hoping). where was this picture taken anyway? I see luggage and an ashtray in the background. if tha is a pad, why the hell is he using that for his profile picture. odd. keep us posted.

Raina Cox said...

To quote the inimitable Whoopi Glodberg, "You in trouble, Girl."

RUN.

K.Line said...

I don't really get this. But I think it's best you stay away whenever anyone professes to be a conservative within 3 seconds of beginning to get to know him.

Brooke said...

Odd. His response makes it even worse. But, he's not a gargoyle, so put this one in the "win" category :) Hahaha.

Keep us posted. I do love a good mystery!

Claire Kiefer said...

I think it's crucial that you catalog all the weirdos and strange exchanges that you have during your online dating feat. MORE MORE MORE!!!

DREAMER'S DEN said...

i can't stand people being so cryptic and vague.

i'm with raina and her assessment: RUN!

Felicia said...

I second what Raina said, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

PinkBow said...

what? this is so odd. i would run a mile purely from his response.

Alisa said...

Sorry can't help you, I have no idea about the conservative comment? Keep us posted.

morgan said...

Okay, so aside from his obviously strange affinity for women's monthly amenities, I'm pretty sure he's wearing jean shorts. Jean shorts!?
So, a good one for the story books, but I think little else. Next suitor, please :)

Caroline said...

They are jean shorts. I like his dimple...but something rubs me wrong with this guy...

♥Aubrey said...

Gotta agree with the white thing on his stomach...but what got me was...WTF is he wearing acid washed jean shorts?!!! Who still wears these, SERIOUSLY?

...love Maegan said...

why couldn't he just tell you what was in the package lying on his stomach? why? WHY?


...and you are pretty ;)

carly said...

NEXT.
bahaha.
either a mxi pad or an ice cream sandwich.
however... is that his apt? looks like he's about to split town. bahhah

Diane said...

wha???? i am so confuzzled!!!! i hope you will pursue this further, and find out what the hell is in his lap!!!!!!!!!! tell him that WE ALL WANT TO KNOW! NEEEEEED TO KNOW!!!!

Cheryl said...

Ha, ha, ha!!! That is too funny.

I would go out with him h=just to make him answer your question once and for all. Maybe he didn't realize you meant that particular photo...?

Still, a conservative and a drollgirl...why did he have to announce that so soon? Does he mean tea party conservative or reasonably sane type of conservative?

Please keep us posted!!!!

JenRem said...

I think I might be single forever because I can't put myself on a dating site because of men like this. I mean, really, what a weirdo. And that response just made it him ten times weirder. Hopefully it's just his internet style and meeting him in person would be better. Best of luck to you ;)

Dancing Branflake said...

Red flags everywhere! Abort!

Funny funny story, Drollgirl.

God's Favorite Shoes! said...

Is is a pound of crack?? Ask Him! Ask Him! Please update this post!!! I need to know what it is!

WendyB said...

I'm with Raina.

Bathwater said...

It is a pouch of mash potatoes?

Fancy! New Zealand Design Blog said...

What a douche! I hate men who try to be cryptic.
It's not clever or mysterious, dude, it's just LAME!
He smells like all kind of passive-aggressive with that response...

Diana said...

He's giving you the run around! If he was hilarious and fun he'd say something cute about you noticing what looks like a maxi pad on his stomach.
Plus, he's a conservative. DEALBREAKER! (lol, I'm not sure about that, but just speaking for myself :P)

Big Red said...

LMFAO!! I hate these guys. While he is cute, if he is already being vague and you haven't even met, imagine the mind-fuckery he'll bring to your non-existent-future-relationship.

Stick with it girl! I swear it will pay off.

The Zhush said...

ugh, he sounds either really dumb or really dumb! My husband is fairly conservative with his political leanings, but he never puts Kotex on his torso...?
On a separate note...SO glad to have found your fun blog...the title alone says it all, unlike your non potential date!

Karisa Tells All said...

Maybe his "I'm a conservative" was in response to your "I'm a curious girl." But still, he didn't answer the question. Also, at first i was like "WHY ARE HIS EYES LIKE THAT?" and then I realized you probably did that to protect his privacy hahaha.

You can't date this guy b/c then if he ends up being The One, he'd eventually find this blog post and feel like a jackass.

Miss Absinthe said...

As much as I would enjoy whatever follow-up occurs, my advice is run... and don't look back!

L.A. Daze said...

Lol this is so random! It could be a tissue, or one of those wipe thinggies. Maybe he just cleaned his hands. Who knows...what is that little black thing on his finger?

Dude and what is with the shoes? He's totally going for the American tourist look.

Kaz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kaz said...

The shorts, the trainers, the posed 'relaxed' shot, the maxipad...they're all ringing alarm bells

He, um, looks like he's waiting to check into some secure facility.

Run darling, run as fast as you can

:)

Kitty Stampede said...

WTF!!!!! bahahahahahhahaha...Good Lord this is baffling. I've been squinting at this for awhile trying to figure out what it is.
I asked my husband and first he said burrito? than he said pad? and than he said whatever it is, it shouldn't be there....bahahahaha. too freaking funny. And is it just me or does this look like a mental ward???!?
Oh God, keep us posted on this guy. I'm intrigued.
Hope your weekend is going awesome!! :D

Panty Buns said...

It all makes perfect sense to me. Everyone knows that "conservatives" don't answer questions and recite talking point spiels instead. Most of us also know that "conservatives" are generally dumber than a rock (why did i just think of Dwayne Johnson?) so it's not surprising if they confuse a maxipad with a teabag. Since most "teabaggers" are "conservatives" who don't know a history book from an upside-down copy of "My Pet Goat" it seems conceivable that they would flaunt a douchebag or maxipad as a symbol while thinking it was a teabag. Meanwhile i have two unrelated questions. What is covering his eyes, and are those legs shaved?

Gabbi said...

omgod... this is soooo funny.... run run and never respond. he's a freak and a conservative and he uses maxi pads!!!!

uglygirl said...

Hey, adult incontinence is no laughing matter.

ticklishfromadistance said...

I am laughing to hard to advise. You kill me.

shari @ little blue deer said...

Oh no, lol, it totally does look like a maxipad! That is nuts! And the I am a conservative, what on earth?? Maybe it's a teabag, and he's in the Tea Party?? Who knows? Anyway, great blog, can't wait to hear more and I'm a new follower! Cheers!

Bakkanekko said...

lol, xD I'm curious about what happen next xD

Mrsblogalot said...

It looks like a poptart wrapper to me.

But so does everything.

SabinePsynopsis said...

Uuhhh, now it's getting weird! Why didn't he just say: 'It's a maxi pad' and get it over with. You 2 might be dating already...

frenchie said...

well now you are stuck. cuz you need to go out with him and find out. for the sake of everybody!
but he is cute. and he thinks you're pretty.
that's a good start!!
please keep us posted!!
xoxo

Kathryn said...

I think the setting of the pic looks more like a lobby or waiting area and my first thought was that it was a small notebook of some sort to jot down thoughts, but his response that he is conservative doesn't really jive with that. It could be he is awkward socially or just not used to trying to meet women online. Or perhaps he is IM'ing numerous women and can't keep straight what he has said to each one so he just answers generically.

If he is in a public setting and that is a maxi pad on on his tummy that would make him the wisea$$ prankster that likes to make people uncomfortable. Guys like that can be fun at parties as they are always stirring things up but to be around them everyday can be overwhelming.

I am with the above posters that the exchange is the harbinger of things to come if you meet up and get involved with him - you are not likely ever to get a direct answer to anything you ask and he will change the subject to try to distract you. Of course that makes it all the more reason why you might want to in order to try to figure him out, which is what he is going for - could just be part of his game.

Don't you just want to be direct and tell him, look dude, I don't mean to offend you but from my computer it looks like you have a maxi pad on your stomach - please say it ain't so and tell me what it is. If he continues to be elusive I agree with several poster above - RUN!

The only guy that I ever went out with once that was totally elusive turned out to be on the unbalanced side and was likely married - I asked him several times directly and each time he changed the subject. I ended the date early and thankfully never heard from him again.

Elle said...

It does look like a maxi pad. Just ask him outright! Hehehe.

bananas. said...

you know what's worst than him having a man-pon resting on his tummy?

the fact that he's conservative.

enough said.

{man-pon: male form of a maxi pad. stolen from an episode of MTV's rob & big}

☮ midnightintern ☮ said...

Back away slowly. Seriously. You are too good for wierd guys, and I don't even know you.

Heather Taylor said...

A Hostess cupcake wrapper is the best, most educated guess I can think of, but it still looks like a maxi pad. But look around him, where is he? Why is there luggage packed in the background? Can he not sit up straight in his dating photo? I gotta agree with midnightintern up there, this is not the guy for you. You are too amazing for guys like this.

Asylum Dolly said...

Well..um..
huh?
I don't get it either!!!
I'm having a good laugh at the comments of Panty Buns and Kathryn :D

Hmmm...maybe he is just trying to be mysterious..? I really don't know. If he is making a joke of some kind then it has definitely gone way over my head! Confusing!!!
Maybe it's a pack of tissues, and the photo was taken around election time, and being a "conservative" he needed the tissues because they didn't get in?
This is really getting to me actually.I need to know what the fuck that thing is, and what he is talking about!!!! Grrr. Go ask again, and again, until you know, and can share the knowledge with us nosey peeps!

sexypoet said...

okay i know i'm coming a little late to the party here but OMG run for your life!! of all the things in the photo, that was what stood out to you? LOL i would have said the fact that he has tape over his eyes, or the luggage in the backround or the giant balls he is trying to conceil in this "wat to tight" shorts.. i think the maxiepad doesnt seem so strange with the other shit around.. i'd be more concerned that he'd have the rest of that electrical tape, rope and a gag in that suitcase of his.. LOL just run!

Sam said...

It's all a bit....odd. I think I'd suss him out a little more online before I agree to a meet up. What does "conservative" mean? In the context here I'm not sure! It's nice and courteous he said you were pretty though - thumbs up for that!

Pretty Little World said...

He looks like he's in an airport, or train station, or hotel lobby - maybe it's some kind of free packaged thing you get from one of those places?

I have to agree with others about the jean shorts thing though - WHY is he wearing them? I somehow feel like, "I carry a maxi pad around with me," is more excusable than, "I like to wear acid wash jean shorts."

But he is cute...

~KS said...

WTF? I'm a conservative... what the freakin' face does that mean? And his follow up was classic... still didn't answer the question. It's totally a maxi pad. Goo.

Vivienne said...

I don't think it's a maxi-pad, unless it's a very, very old vintage maxi-pad. (They're all about the smaller pads these days, aren't they...?)

It looks like he's got a little bag of airline cookies or peanuts or something.

However. His answers are weird and his shorts look very 1997. I agree with the other comments. Run.

Ela said...

I'm dying to know what that is. I thought it was picture of a carton of milk printed on his shirt. GAH I need to put my glasses on.

Keep us posted please!

So, how come he gets to see your purdy face? :(
LOL, I DO understand how online dating works, I just mean I want to see it too :)

And hellooooo, I missed YOUUUUUU!

Down and Out Chic said...

"i am a conservative" is enough to make me gag and run far far away. who cares about the maxi pad? there are bigger problems here.

kristine said...

It looked like a maxi pad to me right away. Maybe it means he wants to embrace his feminine side? But then again if he is a conservative I guess he would want to be all manly man and traditional.Keep us posted!

Tom Tuttle from Tacoma said...

i want to see pretty drollgirl. is he taller than you? lol. just random curious.

Trixie said...

What is disturbing to me is that he looks just like my friends husband! He'd be SO busted cause I'd totally tell :P

I've enlarged the picture and it looks like a snack cake wrapper - ho ho's haha - something like that!

JUNKER JANE said...

run.


:D

Prairie Chicken... said...

ew republicans.

Felicia|DaLipstickBandit said...

*crickets*

Jill said...

I thought it was a maxi pad too!

But his reply??? I'm confused!

I want to see your profile pic!

hope505 said...

okay...umm...
it looks like he is in an airport or a hospital waiting area. clue #1.

An ice pak? From (hopefully) a manly sports injury? or a manly hernia that he (conservitavely) doesn't want to talk about just yet?

Wait...they don't let you smoke in hospitals, do they?

Ummm...a generic package of...ramen? that he is getting ready to toss in the microwave while he's visiting his buddy in rehab?

Drollie, I do not know what the mystery package is...wait! maybe it is literally HIS PACKAGE! Maybe he has the infamous DETACHABLE PENIS! *haha!* And since he's "conservative" it's too soon in the relationship to talk about it, and he totally forgot it was lying on his stomach in its protective sac when he snapped the photo!

Yeah, online dating is the suck.
You got some great shoes though...love those Vera Wangs! rawr!

hope505 said...

ps check the crazy security on that door back there! zoinks, scooby!

chloe said...

maybe its chocolate or some sweeties?

id be more concerned with his outfit.. white denim shorts? what were his other pics like?

> i just noticed the thumbnails in your blog-links list! its so cool!

web designer said...

Hahahaha. Well actually it's not so funny, it's intriguing. I have been thinking a lot what could it mean and I have no idea... Maybe conservatives always have pads with them just in case a stranger some woman around them needs it?

Ren- Lady Of The Arts said...

what a weird thing to say- I am a conservative- It's like he was answering a different questions.