Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Keyed

keyed car

Has your car ever been keyed by a ne'er-do-well?

A rather colorful friend of mine has a great story on this topic. Let's call him Grant, because that is his name.

As a teenager, Grant had a job working at a record store. Grant absolutely hated this job, because he hated his boss. Just hated him. One day, Grant had had just about enough of this job, and he figured he would take some revenge before quitting. Grant left for his lunch break and spotted the boss' car. Grant snuck up to the car, pulled out his keys, and proceeded to key his boss' car in a cruel and vicious manner, starting at the passenger side, and dragging his key around the entire car. But when Grant made his way over to the driver's side door, he noticed his boss was sitting in the car. The entire time. Just watching Grant as he keyed with glee.

Needless to say, Grant was fired from this job.

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54 comments:

bananas. said...

GRANT!!! now that's messed up!

i have this rule...you never ever mess with people's cars, no matter how much you hate them. the cost of fixing anything car related is a mothereffin biatch! it's just cruel.

mess up their lives, fine. just not their cars.

Stacy said...

Haha omg, that's horrible!

Susan Erickson said...

really nasty thing to do....an old friend of mine did that to her ex's car and boy, did she get a reaction. He knew it was her but couldn't prove it. Vengeance was definately hers but...oh my...it was mean. Don't think i could ever do that no matter how mad I was!

Tia said...

Oh, poor Grant got burned!!!
Thats hilarious!
But I agree with Miss Bananas, lets leave the cars out of it.

sherri said...

hilarious. I once checked my makeup in a parked car mirror as a teen only to realize an entire family was staring at me. I was horrified. I had my tires slashed once by (I think) a crazy ex of current boyfriend.

Mrsblogalot said...

OMG!!!!

What's the matter with Grant not checking to see if the car was empty first...I mean, don't ever mess with someone's car...yeah. (-:

Dancing Branflake said...

That is all kinds of wrong! Oh Grant!

adrienzgirl said...

Apparently Grant needed to work on those stealth moves. Ninja he is not.

God's Favorite Shoes! said...

Bwwawa hhhhhh aaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!

Hal said...

ROFL!! That sucks so much, but the dude deserved it I guess.

HALCOHOLIC.com

The Zhush said...

woe. Grant got off easy actually!

tulpen said...

I'd like to thank Grant for being a dumbass and providing a chuckle this morning.

I've never keyed or been keyed. I'll put it on my bucket list.

uglygirl said...

I think my car is pretty inoffensive and wouldn't be keyed. Usually shiny, new sports cars and penis-compensators are the ones that get keyed.

I love work/car-related practical jokes. When I worked at McDonald's there was this one real douchebag working there and these guys from his high school used to come through the drive-thru, buy ten 30-cent ice-cream cones, then throw them all at the douchebag's car windows. There was another idiot girl manager who was leaving, and as a joke all the full-time staff put her car keys in a cup of water and froze it (funny except her remote for her car alarm stopped working). She also had this horrible over-sized polyester sweater that they wet and froze. Aah, teen humour.

Caroline said...

Typical teenager...not old enough to think about looking into the car before keying it!!! See...there is a wisdom in growing up.

OK..what brought on this story today???

♥Aubrey said...

Whoopsies!
There is no possible way i could have just sat in the car watching as someone did this to my vehicle. I'd have stomped on them :)-

Char said...

LOL grant's an idiot.

Chic 'n Cheap Living said...

LOL oh Grant. Seriously if I was in the car, I would have given Grant a few "love taps" (as my friend calls them) with my car.

Iva said...

"...colorful friend....Let's call him Grant, because that is his name" HAHHAHAHHA. OMG. HAHHAAH.

oh my my my. no good. no keying GRANT!! NO NO NO!!!

asweetcakes said...

LMAO!!!!! So funny. Bad Grant, Bad!!

Len♥reNeverM♥re said...

whahaha!
poor eyesight is not an excuse!
Bad behavior isn't either, although boss is a four-letter word...errr?

TERI REES WANG said...

In school the was once this tall, gorgeous blond who was thought to be pretty cool but, not so smart. She got a little jealous of another girl that was getting some of her ex-boyfriend's attention.

So, she keyed her car.
But, she soon found out that it was not the right car, so she just went around the parking lot keying every single car in the lot!

Miss Absinthe said...

instant karma will get you!!! :)

Shorty said...

I had to smile when I read that. Wow. You know, when I stop and think about vengeful thoughts like that I always think again b/c something like that would end up happening to me. I'd get caught. Or I'd be a big goober and klutz out then get caught. Either way I would lose.

Trixie said...

Well, at least he keyed with glee!!! :P
So funny!

Jennifer DeDonato said...

that is a great story! i bet he never keyed again.

i knew a few people in high school that had it done but never did it or had it done...thank goodness.

knock on wood

TheBeautyFile said...

That's pretty much one of my favorite stories of all time. I'm for some reason imagining Kaiser Soze from Usual Suspects telling this to the cop during his investigation. Don't ask.

I just took one of the hardest finals I'll have to take in grad school. Hence, my last stand and needing to kick a$$ today!

Thanks for the support!

L.A. Daze said...

The expression on his face must have been priceless as he shit his pants. Ahahhaa.

I got my first car keyed. And then somebody decided to leave their nasty chewed up tobacco wad next to it. I cried when I saw it, because my car was less than a year old. Fuckers. I'm still mad about it. Apparently it was done by some crazy pissed off football fan because his team lost. Asshole.

Christiejolu said...

OMG on Grant...that sucks! He is lucky all he got was fired...

Tracie said...

I have never and will never do anything like that. I'm skurred of Karma.

Someone wrote 'bitch' in red lipstick on the hood of my car once. I was dating her baby daddy.

Missy said...

I would like to hire Grant!

anotherfishinthesea said...

HAHAHA I just died picturing this.

Tom Tuttle from Tacoma said...

yeah, he only lost his job, how magnanimous of the boss :P i read once a woman smashed the windows of the fleet of cars in her husband's company when she found out about his infidelity. who's the mean one?

Cheryl said...

Holy Cow! That's hilarious! Did the boss make him pay for damages?

Kitty Stampede said...

Oh God I would of shat. hahahhaha.

E said...

He's lucky he didn't work for Vincent Vega.

Asylum Dolly said...

Poor old Grant! Imagine the horror- turning around and realising he is IN THE FUCKING CAR!!!!! eek!

I've never done it, nor had it happen to me. I am pretty sure it wont happen to me now either, because i do not have a car.
It's a kinda shitty thing to do to someone, but that's the whole point of revenge isn't it? To do something really shitty to someone? Buying flowers for your enemy is probably nicer, but not very vengeful.

Jennifer Fabulous said...

Omg. That's insane! Did his boss press charges?! That's the kind of stuff people go to jail for. Holy crap.

WendyB said...

"Let's call him Grant, because that is his name." -- bwah!

Carol {Everyday Delights} said...

Boo Grant!! Not cool!

Emelie - C'est LA vie said...

Ouch.

Sid said...

He just watched? I would have gotten out and beaten the shit out of Grant. I mean, do you know what that would cost to fix???

Haute World said...

LOL, poor guy. I would be lying if I say I wasn't sometimes tempted to key a few cars myself, especially those parked in the fire brigade no parking zone in front of my apartment (I swear, if a fire breaks out, they're to blame for trucks not getting in), but I'm not that evil. I will say I've had a few cars towed away before. I can't tolerate bad parkers or bad drivers.

P.S. You're so right about the snus! Disgusting! I can't believe how popular it is over there (they even have snus vending machines in every restaurant). Thankfully it's banned in the rest of the EU.

Down and Out Chic said...

OMG and the boss just let him do it? There definitely would have been a throw down had I been at that car.

Jill said...

I've had my car egged...for some reason I took it really personally even though it was done most likely by a stranger. It still had paper plates.

Prairie Chicken... said...

vandalism 101

geez dumb-dumb. make sure the car is empty first

SabinePsynopsis said...

Ouch! Guess Grant missed out on an essential prerequisite... Checking if someone was in a car.
I once knew a woman (not me!) who habitually keyed cars parking on bicycle paths. I thought that was pretty vicious, but perhaps it was effective?

graphics tablet pen said...

Can't believe the guy just sat in his car and let Grant key the whole passenger side. That's just weird.

Farah said...

Ouch! stupid Grant!

JKreids said...

bwwwwahahhahahah!! I didn't expect that ending to the story! LOL!

Vivienne said...

I'm thankful it wasn't MY Grant! He's lucky the Boss didn't press charges!

Heather Taylor said...

Oh now that's classic lol.
I would never key a car, but egg it? Now that's a different story...

Diana said...

oh my gosh! the ending caught me off guard!

i once poured milk down a gasoline tank, but never keyed!

Lorena said...

EEEEEEEK!
Never keyed a car however I have put glue all over... does that count ?

drawing tablets said...

Oh god, this is horrible!!! What happened to the young people????