Monday, June 28, 2010

Little John

The fabulous Little John portable urinal is made of unbreakable plastic with a spill proof cap. Ideal for every person on the go [?!], disabled or bedridden patients, or when restroom facilities just aren't available.


Random thought.....I wonder if Lil John has a Little John?

Have you ever used one of these?  I was on a double date once, and we were drinking beer out on a speed boat in the middle of the night, in the middle of nowhere.  The guys were handing out the beer like there was no tomorrow, and I was nervous chugging it with utter abandonment.  When my bladder was about to burst in a very un-ladylike fashion, my date handed me one of these Little Johns.  I made a face, gave him a tug [insert  juvenile snicker here, and NO it wasn't that kind of tug], and begged him to take me back to shore so that I could pee without making a spectacle of myself.  But maybe they work okay?  Maybe it is possible to pee into these things without making a huge mess?  Maybe. I guess long haul truckers and outdoorsy types must use them all of the time.  Ew.




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52 comments:

Prairie Chicken... said...

I want the women's lady jay so i can pee standing up EVERYWHERE.

My aunt attempted to take a pee like the boys off the side of the boat once. She ended up in the river and everyone saw her no no hole.

Georgina Dollface said...

Those things need to have little hand sanitizer dispensers on the side of them. Just looking at them grosses me out. That's why I think I have a bladder made of steel. Just sayin'. - G

Ren- Lady Of The Arts said...

Um save yourself ten bucks and use a wide neck bottle- Gatorade works great on our car trips for our monkeys and when a lady needs to go a lady should go in a toilet!

besswess said...

Ummm...I'm a little confused about how a woman uses it. And is it sanitary? Not to be gross, but if I was drunk on a boat...I think I might just swim in the water to pee. :)

Tracie said...

On our way back from FL both boys had to go - NOW and we were stuck in bumper to bumper traffic. Not moving an inch. I handed each of them a ziploc bag and said a little prayer.

Life with Kaishon said...

Oh my gosh. That is SO funny! SO SO funny. Thankfully I have never had to use one of those devices. This made me laugh SO hard :)

Yelena R. said...

Oh wow, gross...no way man, I would not use that thing in a million years...

cerebral e said...

I did not realise that anyone used these outside the hospital/residential care setting. Most of ours are see-through or sometimes a surgical shade of green. I've never seen a "go-fast" red urinal before!

PS this reminds me of our former Prime Minister (not the one who was ousted last week but the one before that) whose nickname was "Little Johnny Howard".

十十f十 said...

i was just asking my colleagues if there's a short cut to the washroom from our temporary office premises. lol. i'm near the printer and pantry but very far from the ladies!

perfectionishuman said...

i always tell my mom to invest in one of these... her "oh shiz, i need to use the restroom" line is wearing thin now
x

SabinePsynopsis said...

Great story to start the week! (Nope, I haven't used any of these and hope I can abstain from them until into my 80s - or make this 90s).

And a very happy Monday to you, too!

Karena said...

Maybe I am a bit conservative in that way...it would have to be a real emergency!! Reminds me of trying to leave a sample at the gynocologists office....ha!

I hope you will join my designer Giveaway from Pillow Mint!

Karena
Art by Karena

WendyB said...

I was wondering what to get my sister for her birthday!

tulpen said...

I totally would have used it...

So what'd you do? Hang your ass over the side of the boat and piss? I would have done that too.

Martina Rosenberg said...

to be honest I tried a lot of the so-called pee-devices for women: to fill in, to stand up like the guys etc. None worked. Always a mess. Gross..
There is literally no "decent" way for a woman to pee without getting half-naked. Let alone on a boat.
I tweak myself to drink less, if I have to be someplace where I can not access a toilet. And eat salty stuff.. and PRAY. :-)))

Hanako66 said...

i was coming home from glamis and had stopped at taco bell and got one of those super large mt dews. i polished the thing off. he-who-must-not-be-named was driving and wouldn't stop. i had to pee in the freaking tb cup in broad daylight. horrible.

cut to 1 year later. driving home from bj's, same jerk driving... wouldn't stop. i had to use my leatherman emergency tool thing to cut the top of a water bottle off so i could pee in the car.

nightmare.

good riddance.

Claire Kiefer said...

Haha. When the practical and the disgusting collide.

Alicia said...

yikes....see, its way easier for the guys...no prob there...but for the ladies, gets a little tricky....i'd take my chances waiting til i got to shore....ps.have i told you that i frigging LOVE your header??? totally cracks me up!

Pretty Little World said...

I've had to go really, really, really badly before, but I don't know about this... there's got to be a place you can find somewhere. It seems like pulling over to the side of the road would be loads better than having to use one of these, especially in front of other people.

Iva said...

OMG!!! hahahha. ummm I think this is easier for a guy then a girl. I don't know. There have been times when I have been in CLOSE CALL situations but always made it out with a narrow escape. lol

the Little John looks like a gas canister LOL

Annie said...

i'd hold it for sure! ;)

bananas. said...

Um wtf?! Did that guy forget that girls don't have an elongated part to pee with.

And if you're anything like me, he better expect to get pee in the face with the way i aim. I'm like an infant when i squat. Pee goes everywhere! It's not pretty.

bravegrrl said...

yea... funny, but kinda gross... but i guess it's better than peeing all over yourself! haha! thanks for the laugh!

todayandeveryday said...

Personally, I don't WANT to save my urine in a bottle I would rather just disperse it into nature naturally, so to speak. Be it over the bow of a boat, behind a bush or in some shallowly dug hole in the dessert. And as a woman, their is not a convenient factor here, no matter how wide the opening. Chaaa.
~Dawn
p.s washing my hands now cause it just, eewww.

C.B. said...

Call me old fashioned but grab your packet of tissues and find a think bush and let it flow. I think I would make more of a mess using one of those portable urinals than popping a squat.

C.B. said...

Call me old fashioned but grab a packet of tissues and find a thick bush and let it flow. I think I would make more of a mess using one of those portable urinals than popping a squat.

Lannie said...

wait this is a true story?? i've never heard of this before! so funny!! you handled it with grace, haha. xoxolannie.

Katy Mary said...

hahaha wow. I don't think I could use one of these but I did have to pee in a cup once because our car broke down in a blizzard and I had no choice...

The Empress said...

Anything has got to better than dumping out what's left in a starbucks cup and using that.

Not that I"d know... or anything...like that...

Phoenix said...

Yikes... honestly, I probably would have just dove in the water and peed. Is that better or worse than peeing in a plastic urinal that looks like a watering pot? LOL

love jenny xoxo said...

I couldn't do this... even if I really really had to go... i just wouldn't be able to. Just jump in the lake and go there... maybe? Better than going in this thing, sorry!

Kitty Stampede said...

bahahahahah....HILARIOUS!! I have never used one. it does suck for a lady to be on a toilet-less boat. i hate plain ol' squatting but i don't think i could do this..hahaha. i would feel like such a dick.

dana said...

I did a double take while reading the price beneath the women's uh..urinal thing. It said "OR BUY NEW". Hey! New is bad enough, but USED????

Coming home from Florida, we were on I-65 (the highway that offers NO rest stops). As the miles passed, I thought of every thing I could until I realized that we have a 4 door SUV. We pulled off the side of the road. I opened both "off road" doors and crouched between them, hoping we wouldn't get hit by passing cars.

A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do......and so do old women.

Midtown Girl said...

This totally reminded of one time I was walking Midtown Pups and passed by a snapple bottle filled to the rim with a 'yellow liquid'.

This would have been more efficient!

fishy said...

Even if my life depended on it, I couldn't aim it into that. I have enough trouble on a toilet. That's a man contraption for sure.

blueviolet said...

I keep one in the car at all times. My son has had a weak bladder since he was 2 and I'm not taking chances!

Kristin said...

Am I the only one that has never heard of this?

Kathryn said...

I thought about getting one of these years ago when my son was potty training, but decided against it worried he might get too used to not having to wait to go to a proper facility and the next thing I would know he would be peeing in the flower pots.

The Cottage Cheese said...

Never used one, but I've seen them before. I can't imagine trying to use one when intoxicated. I think the dude version probably works much better than the chick version. I'm still laughing at Prairie Chicken's story of her aunt showing her "no-no hole".

Kara said...

Not gonna lie, I'd totally love this. I'm one of those people without qualms about peeing in nature/public/where it's not appropriate. I found a weird portable inflatable bedpan at Goodwill the other day (it came in a mystery bag full of other shit) and I was actually excited. Is that weird?

Anti-Supermom said...

NO way - not that I have much of an aim, but my 'aim' is not good enough to make it (successfully) into a tube-thingy!

the spectator said...

I am familiar with those things, having a husband who likes to call the hospital his second home. Only joking but he is there a lot.

I had that same thought - does Lil John have a little john?

A random thought - my husband's paternal grandmother used to refer to penises as Jimmy. Which I find amusing because she named her second son James, known as Jim. She also named the budgie, Jimmy.

Diana said...

i went to vegas with my in laws last summer and i had to go SO BAD, i was in pain, and i wasn't about to let a UTI ruin my vacay with my husb. i so wish i had one of these, instead of going in a gross unsanitary restroom.

this seems way cleaner than going to a gas station on a road trip!

SogniSorrisi said...

The lady one is just...wow.

Len♥reNeverM♥re said...

I want to use them to arrange some cut fresh flowers or the art Ikebana!!

xo

Krystal said...

I just wouldn't want to risk finding out if it made a mess or not, you know? going back to shore was pry smart :)

buffalodick said...

Plastic milk jug can be cut to work well also..

creative kerfuffle said...

i've never used anything like this and probably wouldn't. on the boat i probably would have just hung my ass off the side. i can't see a guy using that thing at all, at least none that i know. they take a giddy joy in peeing at will outside. unbelievable.

Kristine said...

My aim could never be accurate enough.

Lorena said...

I am not sure I could even put this in place.
Have to say that I would maybe go for a bucket.
But, damn I would just pee in the cooler if they dont take me to shore.

vint junky said...

If it was that bad i'd just run for the nearest tree!
I can't imagine how embarassed you'd be after emptying the little john and having to hand it back to it's owner...ewww!!

Heather Taylor said...

It's kinda strange how he managed to remember to bring one of these along on the ride. I've never met a boy who knew what a Little John was.