Thursday, July 1, 2010

On-Line Dating Disaster


Sigh. I don't even know if I should post the latest fiasco in my on-line dating experience, but here goes...I met this guy named Jeff via an on-line dating website. He seemed pretty nice. We emailed back and forth about a dozen times or so within the last couple of weeks, and I [STUPIDLY] got a tiny bit hopeful about this one. We did not meet in person. We had not even exchanged phone numbers when this, our latest and LAST exchange took place...

[Note: This is our exact exchange of emails, except I omitted my first name where it appeared in our correspondence, and I added the parenthetical info to let you know what was going on in my brain at a few select moments. I also made one small edit, which will become obvious at the end of the post. Yes, I know I sound like a dork much of the time in this email trail.  But I am kind of a dork.  So whatever. I can live with that.] 




Him: 
Hello,
My sleeping patterns have been really messed up for a couple of weeks now....just a lot of stuff going on...
Anyway....just wrote to say hi....
And.....btw....your pic has a certain....reaction on me...



Me: 
Hey Jeff! Very nice to hear from you, and I hope you are doing ok!
And I hope you get a GOOD reaction from my pic? Hopefully. If not, you should move on to the next lady.
Hope you are having a nice weekend.
Toodaloo for now.

P.S. I think you are cute. Make that handsome. Good looking. Whatever term you like best. And so is your cat!



Him: 
Hello!!
Thank you....and my cat thanks you!! LOL!!!
Yes....the reaction is....very good....very.....STIFF!!!



Me: (Er, not exactly sure how to respond...)
LOL! Glad to hear it! :)



Him:  
LOL.....sorry....one of those nights....
Have a one track mind tonight....
You have a very sexy smile....with GREAT lips!,



Me:  
THANK YOU! You have put a smile on my face. :)



Him:
LOL!! GOOD!!
When I didn't hear back, again, thought maybe I had offended you!!
Don't want to PUSH this TOO far, but....would love to put a LOT more than just a smile on your face!!
;-))



Me: (Thinking: OH GOD. WHAT A CREEP. BUT MAYBE I AM MISUNDERSTANDING THIS?) 
For some reason that email went to spam, so I just got it.
And your second sentence?!??! HA! :0



Him: 
LOL....ok....not sure how to take "ha! :-0"....
Unless you are offering...something warm and wet and....?? ;-))



Me: (Thinking: OH ROMEO!  YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO ROMANCE A GIRL.  BARF. HURL. GET REAL. I HAVE NEVER EVEN MET YOU OR TALKED TO YOU ON THE PHONE AND YOU ARE ALREADY STARTING IN ON THE DIRTY TALK.  WTF?!?!?!  LEARN HOW TO WOOOOOOOOOO A GIRL.  OR JUST GO GET A HOOKER.)
So I take it you are just looking for a booty call. Sigh. I am looking for a boyfriend+, not just a good time. Sorry! No hard feelings, but I am sure you can find a quickie just about anywhere if you try. Good luck!



Him:  
If I was just looking for a 'quickie' would I be on Match??
Wouldn't it make more sense to be on sexsearch or adult friend finder??
Sex is a normal part of being human...
I am not looking for just a 'bootycall'....I am not a  n_gger....



Except he wrote out the entire "N" word in his last sentence.  I could not believe it.  I didn't even write him back.  What a motherfucking bigoted racist prick.  If only racists identified themselves up front so that we knew to avoid them right from the get-go.  

This whole incident REALLY sickened me and upset me and turned me off of the entire on-line dating thing.   It has been one dirt clod of a dude after another.  I am sure there are some nice guys out there, but I am just not having any luck meeting them.  I am throwing in the towel for now on the whole dating scene.  It just isn't working out, so I am bailing for now.  Hopefully I meet a good guy someday.  But the stars are far from aligning at this moment, so I give up. I am just going to focus on other things. Patooey! 


P.S. I was going to post this guy's picture, and photoshop a KKK outfit on him along with a burning cross behind him, but I just didn't have the energy [or the Photoshop skillz] to bother.  

One more thing....if you are a female looking for a male in the Los Angeles area, and you meet a guy on-line named JEFF and he's from BURBANK, let me know his profile name, and I'll let you know if you are corresponding with this same racist cocksucker.






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75 comments:

Hannah @ The New Black said...

Seriously, do people really talk like that?! Ugh, I have zero tolerance for that word. Zero.

everythingisjustwonderful said...

This was me when I read that n-word bit:

http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/8/2010/06/340x_what_01.jpg

Seriously. What a fuckface.

Dating is such a miserable experience...I do not miss it.

And for what it's worth, no matter how cliche it sounds, when I stopped trying is when it worked the best.

Caitlin

morgan said...

Ok, first of all: hahahahahahaaha!
Second of all: ewwwwwwwww.
Thirdly, don't give up. Perhaps try a different site online? I have MANY friends doing the online dating scene and many of which say similar things about Match.com - there are A LOT of dirtbags and creeps and generally dudes just looking to get laid, quickly. I have, however, had friends who speak very highly of eHarmony. Something about how they match you up with people seems to be quite ingenious. I say you should alter your patterns rather than give them up all together, ya know?

And lastly, what does being a "N" have to do with wanting a bootycall? It's true you learn something new everyday because I had no idea the two were even remotely related.

anotherfishinthesea said...

I wasn't sure whether to laugh at this or feel sick. What a complete jerk!!

Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy said...

OMFG! Not only a perv, but a RACIST perv. Niiiiice. What a catch!

I feel a little skeevy from reading that e-mail exchange ... think I'll go shower. :)

cerebral e said...

I love that you use "Toodaloo" and "Patooey".

At least you didn't waste any time meeting up with him in person.
His grammar is definitely not up to your standard.

(By the way, Dawn in The Babysitters Club books had a younger brother Jeff who lived in Burbank. Maybe he's all grown up into a racist jerk? Not that I'm suggesting you are on some fictional character dating site.)

bananas. said...

Oh. My. God. My mouth literally dropped when i read that. WTF?! This is EXACTLY why i don't condone online dating or LA men for that matter. What a fucking ignorant prick!

Shorty said...

I'm not a fan of online dating either. I knew this gal who was on Match and she met up with several different guys each week. I am also confident she banged several if not most of them. Needless to say she and I don't hang out, she was a friend of my mom's which is how I know the 'skinny' on the whole mess. But, it's left a bad taste for me. I agree with Caitlin... when you're not looking you always seem to find a plethora of options. Just walk around with that 'ha, I'm taken' vibe going for you and you'll find guys hitting on you right and left. And smile more with making eye contact. That always helps, too.

bananas. said...

Oh. My. God. My mouth literally dropped when i read this. WTF?! This is EXACTLY why i don't condone online dating or LA men for that matter. What a fucking ignorant prick!

Morgan said...

JESUS! That shit is CRAZY! What a creep. Ugh. So sorry you had to deal with that!

Kaz said...

Sigh

I think I've had the same kind of experience with what was obviously Jeff's Southern Hemisphere equivalent.

So I've given up...for now

love jenny xoxo said...

WOW! Seriously!! What was this guy thinking... does that EVER work?!? Good thing you didn't meet this creeper! Hilarius story though!

Marjorie said...

Eww! Ewww! Ewwww!!!! I am so sorry that all your finding is perverted, racist, assholes! My experience with online dating was the total opposite, but maybe it is a regional thing?

Shelley said...
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Shelley said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shelley said...

*gag* wow what a romeo... and hey, I met my man of 3+ years on match (just goes to show you he is, as you already know and idiot).
Seriously though *gag*

Char said...

see why i've decided to become a nun and move to the wilds of north dakota with only my camera and my laptop? *sigh*

his response is the typical response of a-holes that get called on wanting a booty call and then not having the balls to admit it. and then that reaction ... yeah, run fast, run far.

Annie said...

OH MY GOSH!!!
i can not believe he would say that!! what a d-bag!! seriously!!

sealaura said...

what a pig!!! I can't believe him. sorry the dating scene sucks. I know it is a cliché but I found my bf when I wasn't looking or accepting applications ;0) and there he was. Chin up and enjoy the holiday weekend, is it too early for a margarita?

God's Favorite Shoes! said...

Really loser dude? Really?

I can't believe that...well yes I can!

Let me do you one better!

Last week I was in Dallas for training, I'm a teacher. We are in groups and the subject of "minorities" came up in terms of statistics for this program I will be working with.

This chick says next to me "By the way, I don't understand why 'they' get so mad when you call them 'negro'. That's not a bad word. And THEY get a free education and I don't."

Now clearly because she said this loud enough for me to hear...she obviously wanted me to whoop her ass...but I'm a lady. I wouldn't do that...on the job, that is.

So I said, "Really? Is it 1912 again? And what scholarship are you referring to...surely not the United Negro College Fund. You do know that WE are not automatically enrolled for THAT scholarship when we are born. Furthermore, I have graduate school loans waiting for me at home. Since WE get education free..WHERE IS MY MONEY? YOU OWE ME MONEY!"

Of course that shut her stupid ass down. Then I grabbed my Louis Vuitton Speedy bag that I can't afford without the love of my boyfriend and walked out to get a beverage. I returned, sat right back to her dumb ass and crossed my legs!

Stupid!!! I wish I had a delinquent school loan bill in my coveted purse so she can mail off my payment for me!

As for your douche bag...tell him I know somebody in THE HOOD that can sell him a time machine so he can go back to the 1800's where he would feel more comfortable!

Tell him I said to KICK ROCKS...CRACK ROCKS that is!

(I should have just emailed you huh!:)

God's Favorite Shoes! said...

Start going to church strictly to date the deacons...they know how to treat a lady! Lol...not really but I'm just giving you options!

Trixie said...

Uggggggggggggggggggggh
What an idiot he is. It absolutely boggles my mind that people still think and talk like that.

Was in a conversation with the lady down the street when she referred to the "colored" people who live near her. I'm still floored.

I'm glad you never wrote him back. Things'll work out eventually! There have to be normal nice guys on there somewhere :)

Martina Rosenberg said...

Now -- these dudes are the same shi* all over the world. Believe me, when I started "onlining" in 2005 after divorcing my $x6%XXX husband of 23 years, I "met" so many online a**holes you can not even start to imagine. Oh, YOU can, of course. But I was kind of an online virgin then, blushing on what these guys thought they'd confront me with after two lines of email. Well - they all were something you would not even put in the wastebin- but among all this dirt and pseudo-womanizers I found....... my now-husband, that gem. So- be brave, wade through that mud of yucky "men" to find the one which is just for you. He is there, or maybe even not only ONE . Be brace !!!!!!

sherri said...

ewwww. advice you didn't ask for: trust your instincts. if you think maybe you are mistaking someone for being lewd or gross (using hte term "stiff" was probably a good indicator to stop e-mailing back and forth with this turd), then hey are probably lewd and gross. and in this case a racist a-hole to boot. ta boot? two boot? how is that spelled? ;)

SabinePsynopsis said...

Ouch! If you hadn't exchanged pictures you could have answered 'But I am, thank you ASSHOLE'.
You know what? I think forget the bloody online dating, just do your thing and the right guy will walk into you in the gallery or a café or when you are walking your dog (What, no dog? Get one! I'm always amazed when I accompany my friends how all dog walkers seem to know each other).
And one last word about Jeff... He'll die sad and lonely!

besswess said...

Oh my freaking grossness!!!!! Guys are terds, but at least most of them keep that detail to themselves for the first part.
The N word is unacceptable. I would report him! :)

Lorena said...

What an ass.
AT least his true colors showed sooner than later.
BTW you SHOULD post his picture...

Lannie said...

what a loser, i'm so sorry he wasted your time.
xoxolannie.

L.A. Daze said...

What a disgusting jerk. I really don't want to believe guys act this way, but with my limited online dating experience (which I ended months ago), I am just shocked to know there are so many douchebags out there. Didn't their parents raise them properly? Geez!!

Hanako66 said...

w....tf

holy hell he was a bad egg. i'm so sorry, you will find a good one, i just know it!

Tia said...

what a fucking ass!! Who the hell do these men think they are, that it's okay to go around talking like that?? Fucking disgusting!! Only positive is that he showed his true colors early, so you didn't waste anymore time on that fucker.

The Empress said...

I am sorry about that.

Come to the midwest, live here with us, and you will find a nice, solid, good man.

FOrget that crap. You're too wonderful for it.

I LOVE how you told him to step off.

Pretty Little World said...

Wow. Skeezy and racist? I don't know why you didn't jump on that one when you had the chance. Talk about a winning combination.

Erin Elizabeth said...

What. the. fuck. Disgusting. These guys should come with a warning label.

Once, on a second or third date with a guy I was still unsure about, I noticed that he had a "little too happy-looking" smile on his face. I commented, "You look happy." He answered, "I'm always happy when I know I'm gonna get pussy."

I wish I were kidding. I left in a hurry, as I'm sure you guessed.

Christy said...

Uuuuhhhhhhhhhggggghhhh....! Sick and sick!
So sorry you even wasted a thought on that f%cktard. But at least the truth came out before you went any further down that road!

Addict said...

Truly, what a goddamn' jerk! Good you found out about that he's a creep before you went out and met him in person!
Just keep looking though. Don't give up.

http://outfitaddict.com

WendyB said...

Think of it as material for your book/one-woman theatrical performance.

hope505 said...

I hate that feeling....y'know...that some freak has somehow reached through your computer monitor and molested you...gak.

You gotta treat yourself like the precious jewel that you are, Drolls...you don't go looking for Cartier on Ebay, dig?
* ; )
I used to try meeting guys online...not one of em was worth my time. Jerks, freaks, freaky jerks, and "not a good match" just about covers them all....I made a promise to myself to meet someone in Real Life, no matter how long that happened to take.
* : )
Preferably through a friend or acquaintence, or at some kind of mutually-enjoyable event.

vint junky said...

Oh my sweet jesus!
Why on earth do some men think it's ok to talk/write things like that to a girl they haven't even meant?! Creepo McCreepster
On the bright side at least you found out before you met up with him...
This was one occassion when you are definitely not being a 'picky fuck'!!!

xxxx

Tracie said...

Oh. No. He. Di-unt.

I'm so sorry you've had to deal with all these creeps. I hope you find a decent guy soon.

Midtown Girl said...

I feel your frustration girl - this guy is a FREAK!

Brown Girl said...

Oh wow, what a fucker. Glad you didn't have to meet him in person to figure that out.

Sorry doll, hang in there.

Lynn said...

Yucky. Did you write, "I'll pass on the racist dudes who are looking for cyber sex."in your profile?

buffalodick said...

Meet people in real life. 6-1/2 billion people on the planet, and there is someone for you with out the using the Internet!

fishy said...

What a sorry excuse for a human being he is. Ugh! He made my blood pressure shoot up. Don't give up though. There are nice men out there, there just have to be!

Katie said...

Gah

Phoenix said...

LAME. What a dick.

That being said, if I ever wind up being single again, I think I'm gonna head straight for a nunnery.

Diana said...

You have to sort out all the weird ones before getting to the good ones.

What an offensive ass.

Jenny. said...

I had a good laugh at your pain..only because I've done that online shit and it makes you hate a man hater....that racist hornball dude can suck my fat pretend dick..until I pretend jizz all over his face..

Dancing Branflake said...

Horrible! So horrible. How can people even think that? Sickening. I feel physically ill.

Cheryl said...

Clueless!!! How old is this idiot?

Buy a bikini and join some team sport that plays on the beach. I think the old saying is really true, when you're not looking, he shows up...

the spectator said...

Just put him down to experience - and a bad experience at that. As soon as I read 'STIFF' I thought, here's trouble.

Don't give up. I have a colleague who met her partner online, and a friend also, who has a boyfriend she met online.

Jen said...

Ewww,it was bad enough when he was just creepy and slimy but to be a racist pig really takes the cake.

I feel dirty just reading that. They aren't all bad but it seems like a lot of frogs to kiss before you find a good one, online or off.

Good luck.

~KS said...

Holy shit cakes... hahahahaha. WTF is this guy's problem? Between the racist slur and the very unsmooth dirty talk, I'd bet he's 65 and 500pounds with really long ear and nose hairs that haven't been clipped in months and he just has to get his jollies by emailing girls on match. UGH!!
I always think about trying the whole online dating thing... until I recall your stories.

Iva said...

you will find an amazing man, who will love you and adore you and worship every little thing about you, because you are totally deserving of the best of everything.

He might be online or he might not be. But, you will meet him that is for sure.

I'm not even going to address JEFF from BURBANK because he's not worth your time or my time.

I am really sorry though that you experienced this. It's always draining and difficult to know that good, caring, honest people have to share Earth with fools.

Jen said...

Oh my gosh!! My jaw was on the floor the entire time I was reading this! But honestly, I can't be too suprised. I've done the whole on-line thing before and quickly realized there are tons of crazy people out there! TONS!! I almost started feeling like I was the only normal one. But you did just beat all of my dating stories... congratulations!! ;-)

Georgina Dollface said...

Ugg. What a jerk.
Maybe a break from the on-line dating thing will open up new doors. I know it sounds trite, but when you stop looking, sometimes things just appear at the right moment.
You are incredibly witty and intelligent and you deserve someone who can appreciate that. Good luck. - G

Vivienne said...

Oh! no! he! did! not!

I'd call him a bigoted pig, but that would just be an insult to the pigs!

Don't give up.

Down and Out Chic said...

oh my god. i didn't know what i was expecting when i got to that last part but i really wasn't expecting that. what the hell? i commend your attempts at putting yourself out there and i guess you're going to have to wade through all the shit to get to the good stuff.
what an a-s-s.

Christiejolu said...

WOW...What a jerk....

C.B. said...

what a catch. & i thought the dating scene was bad enough off the 'net.
keep your hopes up, and your eyes open. he'll come around when you least expect it.

十十f十 said...

i was so thick i didn't get it until i read KKK. i thought the missing letter's an O. yes, that's me.

the fact is some girls resort to these sites for sex (as well) so these guys who give those reasons as above are just trying their luck. there're many other ways to look for sex, yes, and online dating sites just seem to be more accessible. i'm aware this could be a faulty statement. but i think i'm not very wrong in reaching this conclusion. i've heard of success stories but perhaps the details elude us and the success rate is really really low.

well done for not compromising!

Kristine said...

Oh barf. I am so sorry you had to deal with such a creep. Gross. You are hilarious and adorable and I firmly believe your prince charming is out there. So sorry you have to wade through a bunch of warty toads first.

Asylum Dolly said...

What an asswipe. Sigh. There are too many fucktards in the world, and a shortage of really nice sweet GENUINELY caring and amazing guys. I'm sorry to hear you're not having much luck with the online dating thang. :( I've pretty much sworn myself off men for a while. I just don't have the energy. I'm going to concentrate on ME for a while. If there is a "mr right" out there, he can fucking chase ME.!!

Aaaanyway. I'm having a bit of a bloggy break, but thought i'd drop in on my favourites to see how y'all are doin :) I will be back to catch up on your awesomeness SOON!

Kathryn said...

The upside is that you learned he was a horrid racist troll before having to waste your time meeting him in person and if he was good looking suffer being physically attracted to him while your brain is screaming "RUN!"

cerebral e said...

Jeff should go hang out with Mel Gibson.

Heather Taylor said...

VOM. That guy is a Creep with a capital "C" Also his use of ... was just irritating. Girl, you need to hang out with me and my girls out here in LA! We hit up a place called Canyon Club in Calabasas which, while it does have its fair share of people who clearly aren't 21 yet and clothes that leave nothing to the imagination, has no creeps and some cute guys too! Check it out!

The Zhush said...

Ewww....this guy is clearly a loser, good thing you sorted that out before you had the "pleasure" of meeting him. uggh, online dating sounds awful, I don't blame you for giving up!

Gabbi said...

As a single woman, I gotta tell you that this post sort of depressed me Drollgirl. I know just what you mean and I get the same shit. Seriously sad stuff. It seems like the older men get the weirder they become? I recently dated a 27 year old and though he was way too young for me to feel comfortable with, he at least seemed like less of a perv and with less baggage than guys my age. Dating sucks. But have to stay optimistic right?

Claire Kiefer said...

UNBELIEVABLE! And nonsensical. I think you should post his picture and full name and email address so that we can all bombard him with the hate mail he deserves.

I was already a little squeamish about the too-early sex comments, but then the grand finale? F'ING MONSTER.

Fashion, Art and other fancies said...

Clearly this man was not brought up by nature loving human beings.... Don't bother staying in touch with this fellow. He's obviously not the one for you.
Here's wishing you a more pleasant experience in the dating world. xoxo

Marsi @ The Cottage Cheese said...

Ugh, so sorry to hear about this unpleasant experience. Unfortunately there are a lot of losers out there (I dated my fair share), but you will meet a cool dude soon - I can feel it!

K @ Blog Goggles said...

I'm late, but this is hilarious. Also, super depressing. Sorry, hon. Screw him. Come visit me in HK - lots of mens here.

SweetBonita said...

wowzers. only n*ggas want bootycalls in 2010? as a single black female looking for a life mate, i'd have to disagree. you can always tell an ass when he lays in on the sex talk EXTRA early in the game. but you can't always tell the racists ones that early so good on you for getting the red flag before you ever had a phone conversation with this douche.

Juanette said...

W-O-W!!! Well its a good thing that white guys don't want bootycalls, now you can rest easy *whew*...

Seriously, I wouldn't give up because of one bonehead (get it?) it's great that he revealed his true self before things got too serious, now it's "On to Next One" in the words of the magnificent Jay-Z.