Thursday, September 30, 2010

Monster Calves


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Biggest Calves Ever


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Do you have perfect calves?  Small calves?  Big calves?  MONSTER CALVES?  Mine are on the big side.  *Sigh*  Each fall/winter I get really excited when I see all of the gorgeous boots that are available.  And then I try and try and try to find ones that will zip over my calves.  They usually don't.  FRUSTRATING.  *Sigh*  Whaddya gonna do.

Note: Co-worker, friend and owner of a pair of really hot legs has theorized that big calves might be an Irish thing. Humph. Not sure about that? I am primarily of Amazonian descent, but I think I have some Irish in me too, so I guess that combo could explain my calves.  A couple of my ex-boyfriends with really big and deliciously strong calves are Irish, but I don't think the Irish have a lock on big calves. Or do they? LOL.

P.S. My calves are not pictured above. 


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53 comments:

♥Aubrey said...

Strong leg muscles are good!
Everyone is built differently...as for me, i've got chicken legs :)) LOL

Trixie said...

Don't get me started on big calves. Seriously. Mine are very muscular from I'm guessing gymnastics oh and just genes. People would also tell me I must have German in me. I have no German in me. I have no Irish in me. I just have a lot of angerin me about my big calves. LOL!!!

The boots thing is just too much. It used to infuriate me. HOWEVER, recently I discovered there is a great wide calf boot selection on zappos and the boots are really nice.

PS - Some of those calves above are beautiful :)

Brandi said...

I have big calves as well, sigh. I'm not Irish so I have no fucking clue where they came from. Oh well, I guess it just means that I was built to kick ass in life

Dancing Branflake said...

My calves are huge! Skinny jeans are a joke. And seriously, although I think mine are pretty toned, some of those photos are off the hook.

Ren- Lady Of The Arts said...

Some of these are crazy big!
I have a GF whose asshole ex- husband got calf implants!
What a turd.
I have never considered a mans calves as important in the overall look-
My husband has the best butt- that's important!

Lorena said...

I use to have bigger calves. That was in college when I lived in a third floor that had a zillion stairs I had to climb everyday. Not anymore, now I take the elevator and calves are back to normal, although I do have that boot issue where they zip really tight.

her said...

some of these are for real freaking me out

morgan said...

Maybe you should look for a pair of boots that doesn't zip - a pair that pulls up and has elastic at the top might work better for you. I have big calves. Perhaps monster for my size. I am short and thus, always standing on my tip-toes, so it's an environmental hazard, I say.

~KS said...

I have Big Bird legs... long and stick like. Ugh. I'd actually enjoy having some definition to my calves.
So... you have to swing by my blog and check out this link I posted. I just discovered this website but it is HYSTERICAL. As in, I truly almost peed my pants laughing while reading. Enjoy!

Caroline said...

OMG...some of those calves scared the shit out of me. LOL. Mine are not big...but I wish I had a bit more definition.

Quirkyloon said...

Some of those calves were calvy.

I was confused, I thought calves were baby cows.

And now? I'm traumatized.

hee hee

Heff said...

I gots mediums, but they're about to become large.

Them lady calves look some good !

the eternal list said...

yummy!

(metalocalypse new season rocks so far!)

Katie said...

i have chicken legs and would love some of your calves please.

Christiejolu said...

Some of those were scary...I am Irish...But I don't think I have very big calves...Just average I think...

Missy said...

One more thing for me to be paranoid about! Thanks! LOL

Ebony said...

The picture of the woman wearing the gold espedrilles is my favorite.

I have muscular calves, but I don't know if they're too big ...
How do you go about finding out? I mean do you ask someone? Or if they're really big, is the expectation that you will have been told already. Oh great! All I need is another psychosis.

Sadie's Momma said...

My family always says "German legs," so I feel like big calves can go to the Germans. I have them. Ugh. I just ordered some riding boots from Silhouettes, though! Wide calf! :) WOO.

Claire Kiefer said...

My calves are normal-ish, it's my THIGHS that are the problem! Geez. The women in my family have some seriously "thick" thighs, to say the least. I don't have skinny little calves by any means, but I like a calf with some muscle.

That said, my conclusion from this post is that dudes with cracked out muscle legs are CREEPY AS HELL.

Martina Rosenberg said...

mine are medium.Or towards Monster size perhaps, as when I won the bids for a pair of Size 40 Victorian lace-up boots, I was shocked that they fit on the foot, but were FAR from being able to be laced close.Victorian ladies must have been... slim.Meager. Thin.

SabinePsynopsis said...

I started ouy with giving every picture a comment a la: Too much cycling, too many high heels, too much mountain climbing, but after a few pics I was only going: uhaa-uhaa-uhaa. WHAT IS THIS?!?! No way do you have calves like that! (and I fear you might have lost some Irish friends now...)

Char said...

as long as you don't have cankles like some of these. LOL

there are some scary lookin' calves in these shots. scary.

tulpen said...

some seriously ugly calf action here! I have no shape whatsoever to my lower legs. they look like candlepins.

bananas. said...

aw man i have monster calves!!! well...more like baby midget monster calves. i hate them. they are constantly flexed too which is so gross to me. ugh! and whenever show them off i get the dreaded "are you a soccer player?" question which is sooo not a compliment.

dave is irish and he doesn't have massive calves. in fact his legs are better than mine! bitch!!!

georgia~gigi said...

My Jeremy has big calves! I love them, I think they are so sexy!
Anyway he is a touch of Irish, you know until it is St. Patty's Day and then he is like 100%
Happy Thursday Drollgirl!
gi gi

Katie said...

Piperlime usually carries some styles of boots that are good for bigger calves - I found my sister some there last year!

Fragrant Liar said...

Whoa, those bodybuilders' calves are too much. I'm all for fitness, but that just seems like overkill. I like the picture of the couple on the beach. Those are the kind of calves that inspire visions of vacations and toes in the sand.

TK Kerouac said...

I'm french/Irish with chicken calves

Felicia said...

I have the same problem and I HATE it!!!! No boots EVER fit my calves!! To make myself feel better I say that it's because my shoe size is so small, they make the calf size small too. J. Crew makes boots in extended calf sizes!

Tracey said...

I have massive calves. And I'm of Irish descent!

...love Maegan said...

yes ..Irish/German ahahahahhaha

L.A. Daze said...

I have huge calves...and i'm Asian. I should be petite and skinny! But instead...blah.

It's hard to get cute boots! I recently tried on a pair of Hunters...they barely fit over my calves :( Not that I need those here anyways!

K.Line said...

I really do think calf size is genetic. I walk miles a day and have the scrawniest calves ever. I mean, they are muscular but very thin. And I have trouble with all boots too. They all gape or fall down. My stomach could learn a thing or two from the calves :-)

BTW, I don't think that thin or thick calves are better. I think it's about how they work with the proportion of the rest of the leg.

Gabby said...

Lady, I am right there with you! No matter what weight I'm at, I have big calves. I have found boots that fit (and that are pretty cheap!) at Torrid.

Jennifer DeDonato said...

my calves are not bad however my thighs are horrible! i once watched this MTV show where a dude got calve implants! love to see those when he is in the retirement home.

Chic 'n Cheap Living said...

Sigh I'm like you. But hey if you have a great outfit, that usually distracts from the calves!

libbeh ♥ said...

Funny you posted this today. I received the 2 Franco Sarto boots that I ordered from Piperlime a few weeks ago today, and sadly, my damn larger right calf didn't fit all the way on the boot. I'm not giving up on them though.. I think I'm going to have them professionally stretched out by a cobbler. Do you have any suggestions?

Oh, and I'm in the same boat as L.A. Daze - I'm Asian and I have fuggin' larger than life calves for an Asian chick. Man, I should been skinny & petite too.. I blame my dad's craptastic genes. Damn him for giving me all his shitty genes! (The larger than an average Asian girl boobs were a God send though.. and probably to make up for giving me oily skin that I sometimes look like a walking disco ball and such large calves that don't fit in those damn Frye boots!)

Some of these monster calves are fuuuuuugly.. although I did spy some shexy "monster" lady calves. Nothing beats a chick with some hot hot hot legs.

ching said...

haha monster calves.. ROFL!

blueviolet said...

It just makes me laugh that you even thought to do this post! LOL

Pretty Little World said...

Why is one of those people purple? WHY?

Also, I have trouble with zipping up boots as well. I run, so I have large calf muscles - no crazy, weightlifter large or anything - but annoying large.

I always make jealous eyes at people with little legs.

Kristin said...

I have the opposite problem! Mine are miniscule.

Kristine said...

The Irish and the Amazonians don't have the monopoly on big calves, I am endowed with overly sturdy calves and overall thick eastern European farmer legs. I so wish I had delicate spindly legs.

hope505 said...

O lordy...I do not know. *haha! I think mine are...proportionate? I'm a curvy woman, but my boots always zip up with no trouble, and I'm cankle-free...so..? I am not skinny tho. It is a mystery. Then again, I've always danced. I think part of the state of peoples' musculature might depend on % of stretching during life...muscle elongation...
Or I'm full of it.
* ; )

only a movie said...

I have stupid big calves that get bigger when I run/walk/hike. I'm with you on the boot issue. I'm 1/4 Irish too... hmmm
Other half has amazing calves.

Kathryn said...

In some of these pics it ranges from overly muscled. Toned and trim, fine, but looking like an Olympic weightlifter like the one in the last ping like edema where they might need to be tested for diabetes, a pulmonary disease or dang, just cut out on the donuts! Worse that big calves are "cankles" where you visually cannot tell where the calf ends and the ankle begins.

I think in general designers base their design on anorexic fit models and that there is about 40% of us that are left in the boot cold because they didn't include that extra 1/3-1/2 inch width in the calf area in there boot design.

Sister Wolf said...

This post has really fucked me up. I hope you're satisfied.

p.s. Arnold says that calves are the most beautiful body part.

ana b. said...

Not an Irish thing. I'm Asian as Asian comes and my calves are BIG. I'm with you girl. I have to trot around in those shoe/boots i.e. SHOOTS because of the calf issue. Never mind.

Kitty Stampede said...

oh god this post was funny. some of them. lordy. there is one lady that lives near us and we always gasp when she walks by, "in our heads". she has huge mother ass hams for calves, i'm talking ya well monster as you put it...hehehe.

i have pretty small legs. they used to be major chicken legs (really white and really bony and pretty blech) but i kinda filled out with age. they are one of my body parts that i kinda like. could be a smidge longer though, i gotta start wearing some heels for the illusion. ;P

Adiya said...

Ewwwwww!! This is one of my fears about wearing really high heels- getting monster calfs

vint junky said...

I don't *think* it's an irish thing, i'm irish and mine are on the small side, most knee boots look like suspiciously like fishing waders on me.
Although it's true we irish do drink alot, my mum says it's because we were born with hollow legs...

Farah said...

Well apparently according to my friend, I've got skinny, chicken legs! =s

rach said...

Yeah some of those calves are nice. I do like a defined calf. I wish mine were more defined and not so stumpy. I also have border line cankle. damn calves. But those super muscley ultra calves? ew. It looks like they are about to explode out of thier skin! no thanks.

Diana said...

i feel you on the boots. I have to get short ankle boots, but i would love tall leather luxurious boots but that'll never happen :(