Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Work It


Worst things to hear at work:

What's on your plate?
What are you working on?
The internet is down.
There is a call for you.
You have a visitor.
Let's have a working lunch.
Let's carpool.
Can you work late tonight?
Can you come in early tomorrow?
Can you order us lunch?
Can you bring us coffee?
Please shred this stack of 4 million papers.
Let's discuss.
Will you read this aloud to me?
Read this long, boring, lengthy, legal document and summarize it for me.
Let's have a meeting.

I am sure you have examples of your own. SIGH.



Heff said...

I own my own business, haven't heard ANY of those things.

EAT IT !!!!
LMAO !!!

Haute World said...

'How busy are you this weekend?'
'Don't forget to leave your work phone on'
'Can you train our new intern/co-worker/whatever'

and the worst question I ever got asked (by my boss):

'Can you go to Kazakhstan next week for 5 days?'

(I told him my passport was being renewed. I draw the line somewhere).

Brandi said...

Works sucks, end of story. We should all go home now and have a beer.

adrienzgirl said...

fustercluck! Now that was damn funny!

Trixie said...

I hated ordering food for lunch meetings

I still have nightmares. Can't you just eat sandwiches? No, they can't just eat sandwiches! They needed Chinese food with fifteen different options or they'd need a four course meal with steak as the entree. And don't forget dessert. Like do these people go home and bitch and moan if their wives haven't made three types of cheesecake? Cause they sure as hell bitched and moaned at me if I didn't have that provided for them Maegan said...

bahbhabhba that why you refuse to move to the Valley? We'd have to carpool. ahahahahahahha
totally kidding, OBviously.

Um, yes, to all of the above. ugh. work. tomorrow. ugh.

anotherfishinthesea said...

God there are so many teacher specific ones I can add to this. Blech.

Dancing Branflake said...

Nope. When someone says can you shred this for me I think "woo hoo! I get paid to do nothing but look like I'm doing something. Yes! Here come the ear buds!"

The things I don't like to hear? Anything that closely resembles complaining. I will either ignore and tell you that you I will ignore you. Ha!

Christina In Wonderland said...

This is part of the reason why I'd rather be a hobo than have a normal person job. I'd probably kill someone the first time I hear the words "can you come in early?".

Vivienne said...

Yep. Those all suck.

ticklishfromadistance said...

Oy. I am still reeling from Loverboy. Love them and you!

L.A. Daze said...

Wow. I must be extremely lucky, because I don't hear any of these. My boss and I chat about fashion, food, dogs and difference between NY and LA.

Sure I could be paid $8K more, but with this awesome work environment, i'm not complaining.

bananas. said...

"i need to talk to you"...groan.
"can i ask you for a favor?"...grunt.
"here's another RFP for you"...argghh.
"are you busy?"...uhhh.
"let's set up a call"...noooooo!!!
"audit time!"...FML.

oh yea...i hear every. single. day. gotta loathe corporate america.


bananas. said...

ps. the carpool one made me squirt milk out of my

if i drank milk.

but i didn't.

need cookies for that.


Worst thing to hear when you walk through the door: "How was work"?

thelayeredpancake said...

i look forward to these annoyances once i get an adult world job.

rach said...

even though I told you when you started that you would be paid this much you are actually getting paid significantly less. so dont expect that back pay i was telling you about. have a nice day. oh, and dont forget to scrub that floor. k. thanks.


tulpen said...

I'm a nurse. Do you really want to know?

ok. fine.

"So and so can't poop. It's RIGHT. THERE. She needs help."

That is all.

Katie said...

even the simplest "can you come in here for a minute" can get me grumbling. i think the worst is when i ask if anyone wants anything and everyone asks for an extra large diet coke...seriously? don't drive while holding 4 extra large diet cokes. i never asked again.

Adiya said...

'can you step into my office?'
'We need this proposal by tomorrow!'
'Can you work on this over the weekend?'
"We've got to call the printer repair guy!'
'let's have a 'quick' meeting' (at 4.55pm)

Ebony said...

The worst thing I ever heard at work was that the company was getting rid of smoke breaks for everyone after I was found hiding in the laundry room taking a power nap on stacks of newly folded towels (I worked in a hotel) when I was believed to be on a smoke break. It was then that my manager learned after working there for 2 years that I didn't nor had I ever smoked ...

I quit soon after ... I have my rights!

Kitty Stampede said...

This is why I want to work for myself. MY GOD. The shit you have to put up with bosses and co-workers. ARGH.
stupid ass useless policies and procedures.

i have to say i'm lucky right now for the first time in my life for the two jobs i have. they are not as bad as some.

WendyB said...

"Do you have a moment?"

WendyB said...

To Kitty Stampede, I do work for myself and I still hate my boss. Work just sucks period!

Tracey said...

"What's your self-talk right now?"

bravegrrl said...

ok... i'm not laughing at you... but these are pretty funny :)

E said...

Try this one: "Well have you tried the big S?" One male coworker to another male coworker whose wife was overdue to go into labor. Said convo transpired directly in front of my wide open office door. The scars will never heal.

Profoundly Superficial said...

I also have my own business. The most common problem is the "altering the goal posts" syndrome. You start with a deadline somewhere next week, which the client suddenly changes into tomorrow morning at 9 so that you have to work all night. Oh yes, and he or she still expects your work to be perfect...

Chic 'n Cheap Living said...

How about "Let's have a meeting about the next meeting!"

The Savage said...

Hows about, "I have an idea..."

Mrsblogalot said...

Or how about "I think she's sleeping with him..."

That one gets old.

SabinePsynopsis said...

'Let's have a meeting' is definitely top of my list; plus: 'Deadline is in...' [= a very short time]. The problem is, if you work for yourself, you've got noone to hate/blame/envy... Just yourself (and your poor clients, if they exist).

Candice said...

How about "Can you give the patient in room 2 an enema please?"

cerebral e said...

Oh my, I think I would prefer to do most of the things in your list than the crap I have to do at work (not administering enemas, fortunately - I just prescribe them and leave it to the lovely nurses).

Isabel said... funny!

Char said...


can you send me a memo?

Down and Out Chic said...

ugh, i come to your site so i don't have to think about work drollgirl!

Lorena said...

Mine has go to be
"check in file"

It makes me want to burn the office.

ana b. said...

This post deserves much fame and fortune.

You're on kitchen duty, you know.
Who holds the pen on that?
Let's take that offline.
Let's keep a watching brief on that.
I'm going to call office services and ask for a toilet brush.