Sunday, November 14, 2010

BARF

Here's the Situation

Listen, dawg. You're probably hitting the gym, doing your tanning, and picking up fresh laundry every day. And maybe you've had some success beating up the beat and creeping on chicks in the club. But do you really think your situation is where it needs to be? Be honest with yourself, bro.

This book here will take your game to a level thought unattainable, given your physical limitations (because we can't all look like Rambo, pretty much, with our shirt off). We start with GTL-the bedrock of life itself. And then we hit the GTL Remix-the rules for getting your personal grooming did. From there it's my guide to the Jersey Shore, battle plans for the club, a primer on grenades and wingmen, and tips for ridding yourself of all levels of clinger. Then I look at the big picture: how to cook the perfect lasagna, how to find a life partner, and how to deal with being one of the most famous people on the planet-which is guaranteed if you follow my advice.

This is the bible for Situation Nation. Read it, live it, and crush it.



The perfect GAG gift. Get your copy now. Or wait a second, and you can grab it off of the clearance rack for $.99.



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27 comments:

Char said...

ugh - i'm proud to say i've never watched an episode. i keep believing it will go away if we all quit watching.

Ren- Lady Of The Arts said...

I really wonder how many copies will sell-
I swear this may just be the kick in the ass I need to finish my book-
I mean really- if he can do it- I know I can too!

Melanie's Randomness said...

I've never seen an episode of this show. He is just...No no no. Well your right the book stores will need something to put on their clearance racks soon enough! =P


Melanie's Randomness

Chic 'n Cheap Living said...

Um...interesting. Well it's definitely very like the "Situation" to come up with this book!

Farah said...

creeping on chicks??! WTH does that even mean??!! grossness!

bananas. said...

dude...dude...

totally buying that for my next white elephant gift exchange. ha! everyone is going to hate me!!!

pixelhazard said...

I picked up a typo.... creeping OUT chicks.

too funny

Alisa said...

Don't buy it, we don't want to support that!

Trixie said...

He's got some DAMN nerve calling ANYONE a grenade! Please!

libbeh ♥ said...

Yuck! He's a grenade with his ugly face, super bad pigeon toed feet, and scrawny chicken legs. BARF indeed!

Dancing Branflake said...

The fact that he put a definite article in his nickname really bothers me.

Tiffany said...

isn't it terrible that anyone on a reality show can get a book deal these days? Who buys this stuff?!

vint junky said...

I have no idea who he is, but he seems like a prick
Who buys that?!

Jessica said...

If I feel the need to torture someone I hate I'll be sure to get them this.

Every time I see this idiots pic I become a lesbian ugh must go look at girl bits so my eyes stop bleeding.

Heff said...

I've never seen abs carry a talentless idiot so far !

diane said...

And yet people will still be fascinated, kind of like not being able to look away from a bad accident.

creative kerfuffle said...

i'm happy to say i don't know who he is, i've never watched an episode of the jersey shore and i won't be buying this laughable excuse of a book. blech.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Fucker is FUG. Good body, but you'd have to stick a damn bag over his head in order to smush.

hope505 said...

...this poor dude. The Sitch has ISSUES and his book sales will not begin to cover the cost of his future therapy bills...if it should ever occur to him to go...

Lorena said...

I have never seen an entire episode of Jersey Shore, I am not into self punishment.
I dont want to say anymore but it says a lot about PEOPLE in general if this crap has ratings.

SabinePsynopsis said...

Man, can I buy a cookbook instead?

Kitty Stampede said...

shivers....pokes myself in the eye, stabbing my brain.

Adiya said...

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? :o

How did this guy get this book published?? smh!!!

Marsi @ The Cottage Cheese said...

omg, this made me laugh out loud - in the middle of my office! you are so funny chick!

tulpen said...

"Creeping on Chicks"?

This guy gets laid??

A sign of the Apocolypse for sure.

Down and Out Chic said...

gawd he makes me ill. i'd rather eat unicorn meat.

krista said...

i wish this didn't cost money. it would be a great gift if it were free.