Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Floored

I work in an art gallery which is currently being renovated. We have been discussing flooring options, and I just about exploded when it was suggested that we put CARPET in the gallery. THE HORROR! That is just all kinds of wrong (the only REAL options to consider would be polished concrete or hardwood floors, COME ON ALREADY).  When we received the carpet samples below, the wrongness of it all was just confirmed.

carpet sample 1

carpet sample 2

carpet sample 3

Not sure if you can read the carpet swatch names easily, so I will just list them for you here (you can click images to enlarge them if you think I am making these names up):

Energizing Oat
Calming Corriander
Stellar Stone
Wonderful Wheat
Heavenly Honey
Captivating Curry
Magnificent Mushroom
Immaculate Mocha
Charming Chocolate
Celestial Celery
Sublime Cilantro
Wild Wasabi
Flawless Fern
Pardise Pine
Lavish Lake
Illusionary Ice
Soothing Sky
Brilliant Blueberry
Mellow Melon
Impeccable Paprika
Tantalizing Tomato
Elating Eggplant
Perfectly Plum
Bewitcing Berry
Civilized Silver
Grandiose Granite
Pleasant Pepper


BARF!!!!

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40 comments:

Brandi said...

What the hell are they thinking? Horrible horrible idea.

Big Red said...

Ewwww! What is wrong with your boss?
Just.
Plain.
Wrong.

PS - my word verification is one letter off from spelling "shitter" HA!

bananas. said...

pleasant pepper? bahahaha! what the effin!!! i can't believe they're even considering carpet. i grew up in a house with blue carpet. i repeat BLUE CARPET. i still have nightmares about it. hmm wonder what it was called...blue balls perhaps. LOL!!!

K.Line said...

Don't you mean "Blissful Barf" :-)

...love Maegan said...

I think we should go with "Wild Wasabi" ...that wouldn't take away from the art at all ;)

L.A. Daze said...

Bahahaha 'Celestial Celery'. How is it that they couldn't find another P word to go with Paprika...'Impeccable Paprika'. Throws everything off!

Kelly said...

Sublime Cilantro looks like my office carpet. Boring. Snooze... Takes big money to make such dull decisions.

Brooke said...

Hahahaha....The names are the best. I want a job naming carpet samples.

Pretty Little World said...

Oh my... if you have to lock someone in a closet to keep carpet from covering the floors of your gallery, it would be well worth it.

Jude said...

Aaargh!! But I gotta say, the names are genius in all the wrong ways - I think I've got rather immaculate oatmeal for my office rugs...

Quirkyloon said...

Tantalizing tomato?

*snort*

I mean come on. We all know that's just a fancy name for orange.

Orange carpeting.

At an art gallery?

Ick.

Dancing Branflake said...

Haha! Civilized Silver! HAHHHAHAHAHAHA!

Shorty said...

I'm with you... who puts carpet in a gallery? That sounds like a better idea for a funeral home. I like the idea of stained concrete. There is just so much you can do with concrete these days! Good luck with convincing the powers that be that they are way out of touch...

Char said...

i really dislike carpet. i do. and especially industrial grade carpet.

Tia said...

gross. But if I had to choose, i would go for tantalizing tomato. And then I would puke on it.

Trixie said...

No!!!! no carpet for a gallery!

HAHAHAH! Those names! Ridiculous!

Haute World said...

Most of those carpet names sound like really bad recipes or ready-meal names. Carpet in a gallery? That's just wrong, unless you're going for the 'tax auditer's office' look.

I am intrigued by the 'Elating Eggplant' though...

Caroline said...

Berber *shudders*

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Pleasant Pepper? Impeccable Paprika? I'm with you. GAG.

SabinePsynopsis said...

WHAT?!?!?! I'm so 100,000% with you. Carpet?! What are they thinking????

(the only carpet that might be tolerable could MAYBE tretford or on from the rug company, but only just)

vint junky said...

Christ, this brings back bad memories!
When we bought our first apartment we had to sign a contract that stated it would always have soft flooring (i think it was to do wit noise, it was the same for everyone in the block), we finally chose that icky oatmeal colour. I was depressed staring at it, willing it away for the next 2 years!

sssdawna said...

are you serious. -___- those names are too much lol but i think the lavish lake, soothing sky, and brilliant blueberry are pretty

Gabby said...

Yeah, no, so not art gallery-ish! But the names...classic!

Chic 'n Cheap Living said...

Haha, well they tried to make oat energizing at least! I am not a carpet fan - will the gallery reconsider (And seriously the cleaning bills)!

diane said...

What about beautiful terracotta tiles? You know, like the ones in the south of France. I used to work for Alain Vague, the ceramist, and that's what he had. They had to be washed with an oil based soap, awesome.

Moonlight Serenade said...

Those are hilarious! They sound like a smoothie or nail polish color or something. I can't imagine an art gallery without hard wood floors.

Jessica said...

Carpet in an art gallery I've never heard of that. Hard wood floors please and wtf is captivating curry sounds like something that would give a person the runs.

Kristin said...

Carpet...in a gallery??? For real?

Lorena said...

Carpet ?
Carpet !!!!
It's just TACKY in a gallery.
Wood. Marble. NOT CARPET, it will make everything look cheap.

pearls said...

carpets in a gallery, um NO. never. ick.

Red Boots said...

Captivating curry? Elating eggplant?

And my favourite - Impeccable Paprika?!

I have to say I love these because they are so very very very wrong!

Kara said...

Ok does this remind anyone else of that 30 Rock episode where Donaghy wants to paint his walls in "elk tongue"?

erin@designcrisis said...

Grandiose Granite is the obvious choice here, duh!

Kitty Stampede said...

I DETEST Carpet. I hate the fact you have no idea what is growing beneath. if it get's wet, you're FUCKED. I can see a few massive rugs or something but full fledge CARPET?! Hellz No.
the names are retarded. damn, that would be fun to do though. make names for colors of things. mine would be so ridick.

tulpen said...

BARF is right!!

Hey. Wait a sec. BARF would be an awesome name for several of those colors no??

十十f十 said...

lol. but you'd agree carpets are great when you're in heels?

Jill said...

I thought it said "emasculate mocha"

anotherfishinthesea said...

HAHHAA I think my favorite has to be magnificent mushroom - these are awesomely bad!! But seriously, carpet!?!

chloe said...

for some reason the non-alliterative names are really bothering the ocd side of me

Adiya said...

Haha!! Why oh why did they name these carpets like this??! smh!