Monday, December 6, 2010

Self-Hurt Books


The Complete Manual of Things That Might Kill You

How to Traumatize Your Children

How to Procrastinate

How to Have an Ill-Behaved Dog

How to Get Into Debt
How to Get Fat

How to Drive Like a Maniac
Share/Bookmark

33 comments:

Claire Kiefer said...

Can we add The Five People You Meet in Heaven to that list, cause I'm pretty sure that book made me less intelligent.

bananas. said...

well i can already tell that "how to procrastinate" book is crap! a true procrastinator would NEVER get around to publishing a book. derr!

morgan said...

First of all, I agree with Claire - the book, The Five People You Meet in Heaven SUCKED.
Secondly, I'm pretty sure that I could have written the How to Get Fat book. With a special chapter written over the last 3 weeks...
Ugh, holidays, schmolidays!

Dancing Branflake said...

I really really think these are awesome gifts for some choice friends. And I love your reader comments. Hilarious!

Caroline said...

hahaha... I am the queen of procrastination. I think I could buy a few of these for some folk ;)

Brooke said...

There are a few people in my family who would enjoy the first one. Hahaha I love it.

Ren- Lady Of The Arts said...

I have all those books- color coordinated!

vint junky said...

Bahaha! I would like all of these...although I think I've been doing quite alright on the self destructive front, and could prob teach the author a think or two on procrastination.

WendyB said...

And here I thought I wrote the book(s) on procrastination and bad dogs!

SabinePsynopsis said...

Girl, I'm so thankful you are coming up with all these wonderful Christmas ideas! (one neurosis for every loved one)

Missy said...

I need the first book!

Kimbirdy said...

haha! awesome and hilarious as usual. your blog is just the thing whenever i'm having a bad day. :)

Melanie's Randomness said...

I think these are hilarious!!! I think my ex studied the "How to get in Debt" book a lil too much. =P

Melanie's Randomness

Kitty Stampede said...

AWESOME!!!! Hilarity!!! Something for EVERYONE!!! the procrastinator one...OMG...I want the worst. the worst I tell ya and it sucks hard.
this damn internet doesn't help one bit though, does it?!? arrgghhh...monday....grrrrarrgghhh..

Kitty Stampede said...

went a little crazy there sorry. i mean i AM the worst procrastinator.

L.A. Daze said...

I think my dad read the second one before I was born. Does hiding in walk-in closets and then running out screaming to scare me count?

Elle said...

Hahaha! Want ALL of these! Especially the book on procrastination. That would be perfect ;)

Fragrant Liar said...

With all the fear-mongering, I thought this post was written by Glenn Beck! Hahahaha, I crack myself up.

Lorena said...

I cannot believe that someone already beat me to writing these,
Bah

Chic 'n Cheap Living said...

Haha, what if you procrastinate reading the "How to procrastinate book" Nice.

Jude said...

I am the worst procrastinator! I think I need to get every single one of these for myself (it doesn't count as procrastination if it's a gift thing, right? :))

St├ęphanie said...

Excellent ! I adore !

liz said...

these are amazing, seriously need the "how to traumatize your children" for all my baby making friends. hello christmas presents

Heff said...

procrastination is one of my favorite things.

I'll come back and give you a proper comment......later on.

tulpen said...

The chick who is supposed to be procrastinating should be smoking a joint. That's how I procrastinate.

Christina In Wonderland said...

Haha. I love these. Especially the hypochondriac one and procrastination one.

Georgina Dollface said...

D'oh! I could have written these books! I'd be so rich by now, sitting on a beach on some tropical island while the money just kept rolling into my PayPal account as losers all over the world buy my stuff. (Have I ever mentioned how much I despise the book "The Secret" and all the BS it stands for?) - G

Adiya said...

Haha. these sure look interesting. I'd probably buy one of these just for curiosity sake.

thelayeredpancake said...

hahahhahha, i would gift the first poster to my dad.

Farah said...

I love the self hurt books! I bet my parents read the 'How to Traumatize Your children' before having me! LOL

Pretty Little World said...

This is wonderful! I think I like the quote about the procrastinator's book the best though!

Marsi @ The Cottage Cheese said...

Ha! Too funny!

Kathryn said...

Too funny!

Guess I should jump on the bandwagon and write the book "How To Pick Up A Loser Without Even Trying" to document mine and some of my friends dating misadventures over the years.