Friday, April 30, 2010

Open-Minded

Are you guys wise to the whole "open-minded" thing when it comes to dating? Ugh. I had to learn the hard way, so I'll enlighten those of you that are clueless.

A ways back a really good looking Italian guy expressed an interest in me. He was a bit out of my league -- just too good looking. I think he was a shorty, but the good looking factor might have made me overlook the stump factor. Anywhoo, I have a tendency to get bored, and I'll usually chat with any gents on-line that don't seem too weird or straight up psycho.

So this guido fella and I were instant messaging and it started out with the usual pleasantries, compliments, what are you doing, what do you do for a living, etc. Then the conversation went something like this:

Him: "Are you open-minded?"

Me: "Sure."

Him: "Are you really open minded?"

Me: "I think so."

Him: "Are you open minded SEXUALLY."

Me (thinking OH BOY, HERE WE GO): "Um, please be more specific."

Him: "Are you into fist f*cking?"

GASP PAUSE GASP HORROR GASP PAUSE

Him: "Hello?"

Him: "Are you there?"

Him: "Have you ever tried it?"

Me: "Sorry, I'm not the chickadee for you. Good luck out there."

OVER AND OUT.


Dance Your Troubles Away



Yup, this is the trailer for an actual movie: Jailbird Rock.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Speedos or Speedon't


Did you see these hilarious pictures of Jerry O'Connell* in People Magazine a while back?


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Yay or nay to the Speedo? Does it depend on the person wearing it, or is it always a bad idea?


*Huge, hearty clap on the back to Jerry O'Connell for having the balls (?!) to appear in these hilarious pictures. :)

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Ruud van Empel



Ruud van Empel Dawn #1 2008


Ruud van Empel World #32 2008


Ruud van Empel Souvenir #1 2008


Ruud van Empel World #25 2007


Ruud van Empel World #19 2006


Ruud van Empel World #22 2006


Ruud van Empel Venus #4 2006


Ruud van Empel World #14 2006


Ruud van Empel Moon #5 2007



Rudolph Franciscus Maria van Empel graduated Cum Laude from the Academie St. Joost, Breda (1976-1981) as a graphic designer. Having worked briefly as a designer, he devoted his attention to making free video tapes and staged photography. From the mid-eighties onward, he manifested himself as a creative designer of theatre decors and was the art director of various television and film productions. In addition, he generated many posters for films, cultural programmes and organizations.

In the mid-nineties, he decided to develop himself further as a visual artist. His first photo series are entitled The Office (1995-2001), Study for Women (1999-2002), and Study in Green (2003). He presented his first solo exhibition in the Groninger Museum in 1999, under the title: Waterpas of Optisch recht? (Level or Optically straight?)

His international breakthrough came with his series of works entitled World, Moon, Venus (2005-2008). These were first exhibited in Picturing Eden exhibition, compiled by Deborah Klochko, in the George Eastman House. Many exhibitions followed, and the Sir Elton John photo collection is just one of the many collections which now contain examples of van Empel’s work.

Van Empel’s working method is a complex one. He photographs 4 or 5 professional models in his studio, and takes many series of detailed photos of leaves, flowers, plants and animals. Having gathered hundreds of pictures in a database, he selects those images with which he can achieve the best results. The models are mixed in the Photoshop program, clothes are photographed separately on a tailor’s dummy. In this way he creates new images of mainly children, black or white, set in a paradisaical environment. The art historian Jan Baptist Bedaux wrote in de catalogue (2006) of Museum Het Valkhof:

The fact that many of the children in his compositions have a dark skin is a facet that cannot remain without comment. Although it is self-evident that a child’s skin colour is not important, the iconography of the innocent child was traditionally represented by ‘white’ children. The earliest examples of this date from the early seventeenth century. These are portraits in which children are captured in an idealized, pastoral setting. It is a genre to which the children’s portraits of the German artist Otto Dix, a source of inspiration to van Empel, refer. In deviating from the standard iconography by giving the child a dark skin, van Empel inadvertently assumes a political stance. After all, this child is still the focus of discrimination and its innocence is not recognized by everyone as being self-evident.

Biography found here.


Monday, April 26, 2010

Constipated Cat, Part Deux

leo angry leo

Constipated Cat, Part doo doo. Ugh. My poor kitty Leo. He's been having poop problems. Click here for the "back" story.

The laxative (lactulose) the vet gave Leo on Saturday didn't really do all that much. A few small poops here and there over the weekend, but not the avalanche of crap we were hoping for (?!). Sigh.

I took Leo back to the vet this morning for a follow up visit, and the vet said he would have to give my poor furious, angry, petrified and shaking cat an ENEMA. FUCK. Neither the vet, nor me, nor my kitty Leo thought that would be any fun, and I am sure it wasn't.

The dastardly deed was done, and the vet told me that lots of messy "chocolate pudding type stuff" came out of my darling's derriere. UGH UGH UGH!!! They let me look at a before and after set of x-rays [the proof is in the pudding, so to speak] to show me how much poop was cleared out. GROSS. Blood tests came back looking good, so I am keeping my fingers crossed that this is the end of this particular problem. But I will be adding FortiFlora to Leo's food, as well as a prescription for cisapride, plus a bit of canned pumpkin to each meal he eats, and I hope his poop woes are over.

And, just FYI, the vet said that many big cats have trouble pooping, particularly as they get older. Leo is eleven years old, he is 14 lbs (down from 18, and I swear he used to be even bigger than that), so I guess it is time for his health to decline a bit. But, I am going to do my best for him and hope he gets better. And I hope that Leo forgives me for today, which must have been the worst day of his life.

P.S. Vet bill #1 was $351.75. Vet bill #2 was $395.00. Suddenly I think my summer vacation plans might need to be downscaled or aborted altogether. :[ But whaddya gonna do. Gotta take care of the fur friends. :]

Prince Vs. Michael Jackson

Sometimes at work we argue about silly stuff, like which one is better: Prince or Michael Jackson. When I let my opinion be known, citing that one of these two gents only had four REALLY good songs, I saw horror, anger and confusion in my co-workers' eyes. HA. So I leave it to you guys to decide. Let the arguing begin....


prince

michaeljackson

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Constipated Cat

Leo

This is my cat Leo. I had to take Leo to the vet this morning. I am not sure which one of us was more stressed about the visit. AY YI YI. I think my cats loathe going to see the vet as much as I loathe going to see any kind of doctor.

Leo has been having POOP problems.....sometimes there is a bit of bright red blood when he poops. Scary.

The vet did the routine exam. No fever, but Leo is down from 18lbs to 14lbs. He is still a VERY BIG CAT, but that is a significant weight loss that the doctor found troubling.

The vet took x-rays of my boy, plus a blood test. When the vet lit up the x-rays to show me what was going on, he said, "Your cat is full of shit." BAH!!! I laughed out loud at that! What a horrible mom! I never imagined my sweet, gentle, kind and professional Indian veterinarian would say those words about my cat.

The vet thinks the blood on stool issue is due to straining when pooping. He gave Leo a prescription for some sort of laxative, and told me to add canned pumpkin to his food (apparently canned pumpkin is filled with fiber). As I was getting ready to leave the office, the doctor said, "This laxative should make Leo shit like crazy." I guess that is a good thing, but UGH!

I have to bring Leo back for another visit on Monday to get the blood test results, and to see how the poop situation is coming along. Leo was yowling and crying and hissing and all up in arms paws about this visit, but the doctor said this visit would be NOTHING in comparison to Monday's visit if Leo has not dropped his giant load(s) by then. If his shit is still backed up on Monday, the doctor said he would have to REMOVE IT MANUALLY. Horror factor eleven!!!!

Please be ok, Leo. Please be ok. Please don't have cancer. And please let the Monday visit be FREE, as the $351.75 I had to pay today REALLY HURT. And for once in my life, I hope the shit flies forth from you in epic amounts.

TBC. Shit. TBC.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

All Kinds of Wrong

Alex MacLean

Alex MacLean


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Alex MacLean, Flower Fields, Carlsbad, California


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Alex MacLean, Tracks of Tomatoes in Fields, North Central, Ohio


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Alex MacLean, Algae Between Logs, Longview, Washington


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Alex MacLean, Wheat Strips Run Perpendicular to the Prevailing Wind, Conrad Area, Montana


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Alex MacLean, Stream Interrupts the Harvest Pattern, Cache Valley Area, Utah


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Alex MacLean, Mustard Field, Upstate, New York


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Alex MacLean, Patch of Trees in Field, Southern New Hampshire


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Alex MacLean, Winnowed Hay Fields, Browns Corners, Vermont


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Alex MacLean, Community Garden Plots, Boston, Massachusetts


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Alex MacLean, Rice Field, Davis, California


Alex MacLean

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Jon Stewart Vs. Fox News

Dude. Jon Stewart is my hero.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Bernie Goldberg Fires Back
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical HumorTea Party

Simone Lueck

Simone Lueck

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Simone Lueck: The Once and Future Queens

Artist's Statement:

I am fascinated with the extant performance that is played out through the ceremonies and rituals of every day life. For the past year, I have been making pictures of women posing as glamorous movie stars. The series, The Once and Future Queens, includes pictures of individuals who answered an online ad soliciting older women to pose as glamorous movie stars:

Seeking fabulous, striking, interesting older woman to pose as a glamorous movie star for photo series. Please submit a photo and describe how you would pose as a glamorous movie star. There is no pay, but images will be provided. All types will be considered. Thank you! (Craigslist post, 2009)

The pictures are collaborations: Each participant is asked to provide her own makeup, hair and wardrobe. As active players in the affair, the women are able to shape their individual portrayal.


- Francine found a vintage Bob Mackie at a second hand store in Burbank. The shiny gold gown was allegedly once worn by Linda Evans on Dynasty.


- Claudia wanted to shoot in the park; she said she would like to pose as Gina Lollobridgida. She brought a blond faux fur coat to stretch out on and donned a matching blond wig.


- Mara bathed in a bath of bubbles at her home in Rancho Cucamonga (a glamour bath a la Brigitte Bardot).


The shows are fantasies, and the performance reflects each woman's perception of glamour. Through these private exhibitions, a culture of faded glamour emerges. The women are understood to be motivated by the desire to perform, as though this essential desire had been left idle and unfulfilled. While posing as a glamorous movie star, each woman is, for a moment, fulfilling her fantasy.


In addition to glamour shots, the series includes captured moments where the participant is doing something and is unaware of the camera. These pictures add context and provide distance from the fantasy and a more spontaneous and natural look at the women in their chosen environment.

The series reveals parallel worlds where fantasy may be the reality, where desires remain unfulfilled, and where faded glamour is glowing, harsh and beautiful.

Simone Lueck

Images and text found here.