Tuesday, March 29, 2011


Screen shot 2011-03-25 at 5.12.59 PM

Last week the boss gave me a scolding. SIGH. I guess I pretty much deserved it, but that really didn't make the process any more fun. SIGH. Knowing that anything I said could and would be held against me, I didn't say much as I got my little reprimand. Needless to say, it looks like I should HAVE TO modify my work behavior somewhat. SIGH.

The boss said I was moody. ?! Agreed. Isn't everybody? But I think his point was that I need to PRETEND to be more cheery. SIGH. I guess I can try. I should have asked the boss if he thought ACTING LESSONS or CHEERLEADING CAMP might improve my work performance.  Grumble grumble.

The boss said I need to be MORE FRIENDLY AND ENGAGING WITH CLIENTS. Um, HUGE FUCKING GROAN. Our clients are exhausting. EXHAUSTING. Apparently it isn't enough to smile and be polite and efficient -- I have to put more energy into it.  SIGH.  Is anybody else picturing JAZZ HANDS right about now?!  GROAN.  But our clients' purchases pay my salary, so I guess I can try harder in this department.

This whole little talk took place because a couple of TOOLS from another gallery stopped by for a visit right before closing time. They are high maintenance. High energy. Very fucking chatty. Pretty much exhausting. And when 5:30 rolled around and I slipped out the door unnoticed (briefly) to hurry off to my gnarly commute home, they could not BELIEVE that I didn't say goodnight before I left.  They allegedly complained and complained to the boss and could not understand why I left without saying goodbye.  FERTHELOVEOFGAWD. So from now on I have to greet everyone and their grandma with huge enthusiasm (HURL), and make sure to say goodnight to anyone and everyone before I leave. What's next - cartwheels?  Cappuccinos?  Complimentary blowjobs?!  Kidding.  Kind of.

The MAIN reason I don't announce my departure every time I leave is that when I DO, I invariably get asked to do ONE LAST THING before I leave. My commute takes over an hour and the last thing I want to do is delay getting home.

But I guess having a job and getting paid requires some compromise on my part, so I will have to try a a LITTLE HARDER to cut the mustard. SIGH SIGH SIGH. Or win the lottery! 

Guessing some of you have been scolded before?  Bet you enjoyed it about as much as I did. :[



Beth Grace said...

Wait... All of this was over not saying goodnight?! Did they want a bedtime story and a kiss before bed too? Lame sauce.
I feel your pain, though, I was just scolded the other day for forgetting to write something down and costing a sales rep the commission for it. I don't know whats worse, having them chew you out, or being ridiculously nice about it, forcing you to feel even more like an ass. :/
I love how perfectly the seagull picture fits, though!!


Jo said...

Ugh. Seriously?? Maybe the next time they come in you should tell them "nighty night", wish them sweet dreams, and maybe sing a lullaby on your way out the door.
Yeah...I'm not helping.

morgan said...

forfucksake!!!!!!!! that being said, however, you are not alone, as I have received a similar "talking to" on more than one occasion. I can't stand small talk and feel like I am at work for a purpose, which is not to make friends and socialize all day.

Sorry this happened, but as you said, having a job, particularly these days, IS something to be thankful for. So its probably better that you know what's expected of you now so you can slap on your fake face and play the game!

pearls said...

oh come on thats a load of crap if i've ever heard it ... you didn't say GOOD BYE what a bunch of babies !! sounds like you work at my work. but i 65 of those babies to deal with. i'm sorry chin up, sometimes when i have to smile i just sing a little song " you can go Fu*k yourself LALA" it helps :)

Dancing Branflake said...

Prepare for the longest comment in blogger history:

So, a parent complained about me to the studio director. She claimed that I was yelling at her daughter (she could see through the studio window) and that I was being mean. She then told my boss that it doesn't even look like I want to be there. Talk about jazz hands- I actually am doing jazz hands and leaps and kicks with these kids and she had the audacity to say that it didn't look like I wanted to be there. I couldn't believe it. Could not believe someone could be so judgmental when I am about to fall over out of exhaustion from trying to rally excitement and enthusiasm from the students.

It basically made the next two days horrible with a pit in my stomach because this complaint completely knocked me off course. If what I do isn't good enough then should I just not do it at all? yada yada yada self loathing, etc.

Well, I called the parent and apologized (I really did feel bad if her daughter was hurt) but her mom said that her daughter didn't complain nor was she upset. Basically, I feel ten times better when I realized the mom was overreacting, I wasn't a horrible person, but perhaps I do need to change a bit and be more patient and perhaps (gulp) smile more.

So all I'm saying is that I feel ya. So sorry- being pulled into the principal's office is lame. So very lame.

besswess said...

Are you freaking kidding me? I can't believe they tattled. That is so disgusting! EEEK!

Caitlin said...

I'm sorry. :(

We have a flight meeting when I return to work. I sit in a cubicle next to such a chatty Cathy and I am fairly certain that we will be told that we talk too much. I don't know how to not talk to him aside from wearing my iPod all day?? But anyways, yes. I am fairly certain that I'm going to be in your shoes here in about 55 minutes. :/

Morgan said...

BOO! Hate that that happened. Sorry! Never is fun but clearly you're a good employee and they need to simmer.
And btw, loving the new header!

Katie said...

Hey girl, haven't visted in a while - love your new look. I hated being overly friendly in retail and working as a server (flair!). I've noticed that people over here in the UK aren't pressured to have that super duper attitude (phew). Just be the best you and all that crap and try not to let them turn you into a zombie.xx

Lara said...

What would've been great is if your boss had apologized to the idiots, knowing that they're idiots, and then come to you joking about how you may have to kiss those particular idiots' asses a bit more next time. It didn't have to be a big deal. Who's the moody one?

I would be so cheery now it made people sick!

Cheryl said...

The more mature (and nice) thing for those two gallery guys to do would have been to talk to you directly. And your boss's reaction seems a bit over the top. A simple, hey, be sure to...instead of a full out scolding would have sufficed. Instead they made it into a big drama. I agree with Lara - who's really the moody one?!!! Sorry you had to be in the middle of all that.

Trixie said...

I'm going to Big 5 later. If any workers leave while I'm there well they better say good bye to ME or heads will be rolling!!


Sorry you have to deal with that nonsense

Kristine said...

Ugh. I hate being scolded. And I hate fake small talk and chirpiness. It sounds like you are dealing with big babies that need a lot of ass kissing and coddling. I love working for myself when I hear these stories, although I am at the beck and call of my clients, and some of them are super demanding and I dream of smothering them with a pillow on a regular basis.Winning the lottery sounds like a good plan. Don't let it get to you, I'm sure your boss secretly loves your non jazz hands ways!

love jenny xoxo said...

lol sorry that definitely sucks...

Maybe you could try spirit fingers instead of jazz hands?


blueviolet said...

I wouldn't want to be hanging around either if my commute was that long. Good for you for being willing to compromise a little bit though.

hope505 said...

There's one thing I'm grateful for about my job - be$ide$ the obviou$ - I never have to interact with the Public, or adjust my mood for work. unnhh.

Saying Goodnight could be more apparantly crucial due to your being in ellay maybe, but those chicks need to get over it, and not take it personally that they didn't get said Goodnight to. Pfft.

I remember that being Socially Crucial when I was doing parties over here. "Let me Say Goodnight" usually took at the least 20 mins to a 1/2 hour, so yeah, you would have missed your commute, for what????

*haha!! Show up in head-to-toe Hello Kitty and see what yer boss has to say about that. O noes! *ha! sry. I'll stop. Just mad that you got talked to about something dumb.

Jill said...

I'm sorry! sigh~

Phoenix said...

LAME. Totally and utterly lame. I'm sorry, Droll. That blows. And it's bullshit.

PorkStar said...

The complimentary part is totally welcomed and I'll be your client right away.

It sucks really when something like that happens and why would you have to give explanations about you leaving? You could well have a very important personal issue to attend, maybe get the runs too, who knows and bounce without anyone noticing it.

I hope all is well though.


Ugh, I am usually the one giving the "scolding"...The "Wha-do-Fo"= What you do that for?!!!

My inner coach/manager/task master, has a lot to say on this subject. But, in a nutshell > if you're not happy, then no one is happy...so get happy or get out. Love it or leave it, don't waste our time.

Be of service.
Be gracious.
Be interested.
Be entertained, and entertaining.
Be a story teller...sell the story.
Believe the story. Enjoy the story.
Share the life style of the story.

We will not be caught selling a ... "Maybe".

Now, get to work cry-baby, and make it good. Your job is to impress me and you both. Don't choke.


Pretty Little World said...

I vote for winning the lottery. I've been shooting for this option for some time now with no success, but I won't give up. It. will. happen.

And since I'm certain it will be the trillion dollar jackpot that I deserve, I'll share some :)


You're going to get a Spanking!
..I think your boss likes you a little too much.

Good luck with that.

itsCatherine said...

i thought of this stand up bit by bill hicks when reading your post hope it makes you smile!... im sorry your boss is a dbag.


Gabby said...

That blows. People are so sensitive sometimes!

TK Kerouac said...

nothing worse then forced chipper small talking when your not feeling it.

Go For The Lottery!!!!

mermaid gallery said...

sucks! forget it....he's a dick....

mich said...

Not to play Devil's advocate or anything, but you DO work in a gallery, right? So isn't kissing up part of the territory? My experience is: Anything to do with the "arts" in any way involves a certain amount of brown nosing and ass kissing.

diane said...

That comment from Mich was really from me. Your boss might have fired me for that mistake.

Char said...

gawd - those that complain about shit like that are frequently the ones i don't give a shit about if they say goodbye to me.

hope it's better soon. make a game out of how sickening you can be. LOL

Claire Kiefer said...

Being scolded is awful (I have been scolded and I burst into tears--so you're doing better than me!) and I hope it never happens to you again. I also hope you don't have to give any complimentary blow jobs. Especially to tools.

Throw back some vino, girl!

Kathryn said...

High maintenance attention junkies world seems to crash to a halt if you not only fail to acknowledge their existence immediately but expect you to exclude joy and fawn all over them and God forbid, you fail to say goodbye (and with a slight look of sadness on your face because you know, they do want to think that your opportunity to bask in their glowing ambiance was the high point of your day).

You just have to look at it as putting on a "work persona" that is not necessarily who you are without actually compromising who you are.

I always think of the story my Mom told me about a group of ladies where each would try to one up the other one to elicit envy from their friends and one woman enthusiastically saying "That's fantastic!" after each one. When it came her turn she said her husband sent her to charm school and when asked why she told them it was "because they taught me to say "That's fantasic!" instead of "That's bull$hit!".

bananas. said...

oh i've been scolded. not recently but when i worked in retail, i got in trouble all the time.

nowaways i get praise which is nice but i still don't say goodbye when i leave. why should i? i've already spent 8 fricken hours with these people? what's a couple minutes of goodbyes gonna do? i mean really!

ps. vegas?! WHAAAATTT!!! so excited for you. you better tell me EVERYTHING that happens. and i mean everything. when are you going???

Marisa said...

I get ya. It's hard to be peppy and friendly when people stroll in at closing time. Obviously we have no lives to get home to and must cater to them and they are special and don't have to adhere to said closing times. I'm not bitter at all. Obviously...

Miss Caitlin S. said...

ugh, I'm sorry. Sometimes working is like acting, I always think that when I'm in the worst mood and I pass people in the hall and all of a sudden I'm peppy with a big smile "hi, how are you!" "good, you" "good" and keep going.. just like a script! I guess you just gotta suck it up and do it because it is your livelihood but don't worry... I feel you, the reprimanding never doesn't get old, especially when it's personality based, it feels like you're being asked to dance or something. ho-hum. PS- glad you loved Inglourious Basterds too :) I could see that from what I see in your blog, I definitely believe the writer of this blog would like that movie :) Watch it and cheer yourself up!

Jessica said...

Wtf sounds like your boss and clients are seriously high maintenance. Meh the things we have to do for employment

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...just puttin' it out there. :)

Anonymous said...

Blech! That sucks balls! Ya poor fing :( It's really stupid, because i thought the majority of people APPRECIATED being spoken to in a GENUINE way as opposed to nicey nicey fake shop-talk bullshit!!! I cannot stand going somewhere and having some phoney talk to me in a sing song voice, with a fake smile plastered across their face! It's so condescending!!! Gawd. Those people who "dobbed you in" for not being a fake cow need a good bitchslap methinks. As does your boss, come to think of it. How dare you be human, drollski! Grr.
With any luck you'll get a bunch of more normal people to deal with ( i hope!!)soon, so you don't have to talk like you're on playschool day in day out O.o
maybe that's the key- be SO syrupy saccharinne nicey nice, so that you have to be asked to stop it and be more laid back and real ;)
Hopefully those neurotic freakazoids were just a one-off....?????? ;/
Here's hoping better things are on the way.♥ If i lived anywhere near you, i would bring you a punching bag with the clients faces on for you to let loose on as soon as they were out of sight xox

Keri said...

Hey DG... hate to admit it, but I've been famous for leaving work without kissing everyone goodbye too. I have never understood why if my hours are from 8 to what ever, when what ever comes and I get up to leave, EVERYONE else is giving me stink-eye for doing so. I do have a friking life outside of the place.

To be an adult and have your livelyhood threatened because someone doesn't like the way you interact with others is just the last pisser.

When I was selling Real Estate, I hated working with people who have lots of money. They're so frikin entitled and fussy and cheap, it's disgusting.

I feel for you. Have a good day. Keri


Georgina Dollface said...

Arrrg! Why would someone complain about you leaving? 'Tool' is right. About a year ago, I got to move my office closer to the back door, which meant that at 4:59:50 pm, I could slip out unnoticed and avoid the dreaded "one last thing".
Hope your week gets better. - G

SabinePsynopsis said...

Uahh, not nice. I'm a pretty moody person, but I TRY to not let it out on the clients. That's why I practise 'teflon' - always efficient and friendly and neutral. Not that I actually think that your action was in any way 'unfriendly' - It could also be interpreted that you didn't want to bother them.

chloe said...

ugh, i hate that stuff!
and i can totally sympathize with the commute too, my new job has lots of driving in it.. 3 times a week im on the motorway and every 10 days i have to visit a store in a neighbouring (2 hours away) town. which means a 4 hours round-trip, arrrg, and i HAVE TO GO THERE TOMORROW, makes me want to scream!

complimentary blowjobs though, eek! scary thought..

Kimbirdy said...

ugh that sucks!! also sucks - i had a nice long comment all typed up and then lost my internet connection {as i do fifty million times a day} and lost it all. so i will just summarize with this:
i hate having to fake it, and i hate when people try to fake it with me. maybe rich art buyers prefer that? i don't know. but what i do know is that if you have to grin & bare it at work, feel free to let it all out here, because we all like you exactly how you are!

Vivienne @ the V Spot said...

Was someone else assisting them when you left, or did you shut of the lights and lock them in the gallery overnight...?
If it was the former, I can't believe they are so narcissistic that they would complain about it. If it was the latter, hee hee, that's kinda funny. (But wrong too. Don't do it again. Now get back to work.)

Kitty Stampede said...

SIGH is RIGHT!!! yeah, I hate annoyingly fake pleasantries with people I don't give a shite about...especially work revolving. That is why I sucked and actually got fired at being a waitress. I am really, really nice but when someone is really rude to me, I find it IMPOSSIBLE to bite the bullet and be nice back to them. I become a snark. lol. I can't hold it in. I am not a fake person in the least, and it's just impossible for me to pretend to like someone. Sometimes I wish I could fake it better. But hey if you're gonna be a betch to me who is a genuinely nice person, than fack you, you're gonna get some sass back. lol.
Yeah, that sucks. I hate getting a talking to. You feel like an ant being stepped upon. It makes you feel like a child. And what a dumbass reason too. tards.
I hope you win the lottery...or hit the jackpot with your bloggins...hee...you totally could, you are QUEEN.

p.s.- I wanna hear about the NEW BUDDY!!!!! and see. can't wait. :D:D

Heather Taylor said...

See my latest blog post for a scolding that would make anybody cringe. Aaaaand that's why I no longer work there!

Lorena said...

I am sorry to hear that - sucks.
For your co workers just a "good morning" and muffins once a week should do the trick ;)
For customers---- I don't know what to say. I remember that I use to work at a place that closed at noon on Saturdays and ALL DAMN customers would show up at 11:59. So, if I saw a car I would run to the door and lock it and just LAY, PHYSICALLY LAY on the floor so they would not see me -- oh, those good old times.

Anonymous said...

you're awesome, you gotta work for yourself.