Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Klassy

klassy drollgirl

The other day I was over at my man friend's house. We thought we were alone, so we went off to the bedroom and did what people do. It was loud and fun and fab. Next thing we knew, we heard a noise coming from the living room of his house. We put our clothes back on and walked out to the living room to see what was up. And his MOTHER was there. The mother that I had never met before! ARGH!!!! She was just sitting on the sofa smiling. I am PRETTY PRETTY sure she heard the whole thing, or at least part of it. And if she didn't, I am certain she noticed my JBF hair. I must have turned 14 shades of red as I shook her hand and introduced myself.

KLASSY. Real klassy.

Side note: His Mom has a key to his house.  And apparently she comes and goes as she pleases.  W T F?!?!??!?!?!?  


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42 comments:

Brandi said...

OMG this is the best story! At least she was smiling when you walked out of the room. This does bring up one question...what was his mother doing there?

kimbirdy said...

well i'm sure she was proud of her son's ability to... do what people do in a way that was loud and fun and fab.

Morgan said...

MORTIFYING! Honestly, I can't even imagine. And more mortifying that she comes and goes as she pleases. You need to squash that asap!

Cheryl Ann said...

that's some Kris Jenner/Kardashian family shit, right there! his MOM just comes in whenever?! hell to the no.

this is fucking hysterical, by the way ;)

GFS said...

I literally haven't read past the first three sentences!I read it and a huge smile crept across my face! LOL!

#dontstopgetitgetit

LOL...ok back to reading!

GFS said...

I just finished reading!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WTF!!!!!!!!!?????????

Man friend must get that key back!!!!!!


OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Regina said...

I just about spewed my coffee all over the screen! This is hilarious! (I would have died)

hope505 said...

O lorrddd...if she let herself in, could she not have let herself back OUT??? Before y'all had finished?? I mean, out of courtesy?

hmm. I would deffo evaluate yer man-friend's relationship with his mom..*heh just sayen.

Annabelle said...

Oh honey noooooo. That is damn hilarious!

Dancing Branflake said...

No no no!!! On so many levels no!

And he's a momma's boy? Oh no. No no no.

Dancing Branflake said...

Ps... I hope he was way more mortified than you were. If not then you know he has issues. A little too comfortable with his mom around.

melifaif said...

STFU!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol....wow!!! That tops em all. ha. Pun intended. key? back. now.

bananas. said...

ahhhh noooooo...talk about awkward!!! and why would that mother stick around. i'd hear the moans and high tail it outta there!!!

Mandy_Fish said...

RED FLAG. RED FLAG. RED FLAG.

Just kidding.

Sort of.

...

But seriously. He needs to get that key.

Felicia said...

What??? That sounds like something from a sitcom, haha!! How did she get in????

Galaxia said...

ok, this sucks but don't feel too bad. honestly, something like that has happened to me and my husband at least 2x while we were dating........except no one just sat on the couch, we've been walked in on.................

we can kinda laugh about it now....lol?

Kristine said...

Oh My God!!!!!!! The horror! I am squirming for you right now!!But glad you had fun before the trauma!Gahhhh!!!

Lara said...

omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg!

I can't even imagine how mortified you were. Seriously! Jesus christ!

Sooo, about that key...

Claire Kiefer said...

Awesome story. And totally worth the embarrassment, I am sure. :)

Jessica ( frellathon ) said...

My first reaction when reading this was she has a key and let's herself in the house!!! Danger, danger abandon ship abandon ship. Next was she didn't leave she stayed and sat down to what listen? Danger, danger, abandon ship, abandon ship!!

Sorry about the perv mom but yay for sexy time :) I hope he get's the keys back so you can get your freak on in peace.
Though you totally should have asked how long she had been there then cocked an eyebrow at her like really you've been waiting around for that long huh hmmmmm

LenoreNeverM♡re said...

Oh nooo...
but again,
as long as she wasn't in the room watching & eating pop corns, yes?!

girlunwinding said...

hahahaha, LMAO o snap! well well well, this is your life we are talking about right? did you expect to met her any other way? haha {just kidding}. What a fantastic story! They whole key thing and come without a call first is a little weird. Maybe that can change a little know that he has a "lady friend" **wink, wink**
~Dawn

love jenny xoxo said...

OMG I would die!!! What mom goes into her ADULT son's place, and then hears all the noise, and just sits there?!? WTF for sure, that is ridiculous!

XOXO

Alisa said...

yikes!

Jen said...

O-MA-GOD... I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad new peaches but you may have to dump this guy STAT~ I'm all for a guy that has a good vibe with his Mom but a key with permission to come and go as she pleases? NO-BUENO.

Or just always FCKU at your pad. ;)

Lorena said...

JBF Hair....
This is too much. I would have died.
How will you ever look at her again. She will always remember the way she met you.
I think its creepy.
What would you have done ?
ME; I would have heard the ramble and just walked back out pretend it never happened, I nevr heard anything. No bueno.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

My mom has a key to my house, too, but she would never come over and not knock first. Jesus.

anita said...

man friend has woman friend now.
momma needs to give the key back....now!!!
literally AND figuratively!

Marian said...

Oh.My.Lord! Die. That story...can't make shit up like that:) You always keep it classy gurlfrand;) I love it like that!

Kathryn said...

That would be a mood killer for sure.

While it is not strange that his mother would have key for emergencies or maybe feed an animal if he was out of town, it is a little odd that she would come and go whenever she pleases and not knock first and would stick around if she heard he was "entertaining company", but their family dynamic - there many people in their late 50's and early 60's that while they look straight laced are still in their minds "flower children" and don't believe in locks and still believe in free love.

You should let him know how uncomfortable it made you feel and let him come to his own conclusion about setting limits on Mom's behavior in the future.

mermaid gallery said...

you shook her hand! yikes! spreading the love, so to speak.....

Jill said...

That just sucks!

Anne said...

Embarrassed to hell is what you would feel if this happened by accident. It didn't. Likely she did it on purposed and stayed to see you react. Shoulda tossed your hair and winked at her.

Kitty Stampede said...

Oh MAN!!! That sucks hard. That is pretty weird that she would stick around. You would think that she would silently leave.
I couldn't allow that. ever. eeeek.

SConnerFoto said...

Oh noooooooooooooooo!!!!!!

krista said...

whoa. there is a lot here that kind of freaks me out.
was she randomly there? just walked in?
did your man know she was coming over but neglect to tell you?
why, for the love of god, why did she stay in the room?
whatever. thanksgiving will be fun.
:-)

TK Kerouac said...

She must be very proud you are keeping her boy happy:)

Trissta said...

Hahaha, I feel you on that one! I had an all day fest with my own man friend on Sunday and his room mates came back from church as we were walking out, hair all sexified and shit, to get sushi. It was a joy introducing myself to them and apologizing for the noises they'd been hearing all morning. Joy. Just Joy. Not as bad as a mother, but I'm pretty sure I was the same color of red.

Much Love,
Trissta

chloe said...

back in the day i spent the night at a boy's house who was still living with his parents (ahem, like i said, it was back in the day). i needed some encouragement to do what people do because there was no lock on his door and i was paranoid that someone would pop in to say hello. flash forward to the next morning when we were woken up by HIS MOTHER hunting through the bedroom for 'dirty washing' because she was going to do a load of laudry. bedroom floor = my underwear, his underwear, condom wrapper and other such evidence of people-doing. considering that first meeting, i can't say im surprised that she never warmed to me.

back to you though, man friend sounds cool with all you've said about him so far, how did he react? if he scooted over to her to chat over a cup of coffee i would worry but you didn't say anything like that so im confident that you guys will handle it just fine. yay for sexytimes though, glad you had fun! :)

Ace said...

What a proud mama! OMG that is HYSTERICAL! OF COURSE this would happen!

十十f十 said...

yes i figured out what manfriend meant but thanks for directing me to this post hahaha :P

sealaura said...

OMG I just read this and almost DIED. That is awful! But I'm sure you've recovered. I was just catching up on your blog. Hope you have a nice weekend with manfriend and that the couch does not call you. But I know what you mean, my husband snores and when he falls asleep in the living room, I am secretly happy!!