Tuesday, April 17, 2012

The Amish Beard

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Do you ever wonder if your parents are starting to lose it? My Dad (who is turning 70 this year) recently started sporting an Amish beard.  !!!!!!!  My sister and I were discussing his stupid beard, both of us being MORTIFIED by this beard, as our family is not Amish.  I think the Amish beard is quite possibly the most unattractive of the male facial hair options.  I told my sister that I couldn't believe our Mom hadn't pitched a fit about the hideous beard, and my sister said my Mom certainly HAD pitched a fit about the beard, and that was precisely why my Dad hadn't shaved it off. HA!!!!!


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31 comments:

Jen said...

It's hideous!! And creepy! My husband likes to shave his head in the summer and it's gross! White, bald and stupid looking. I'm seriously not attracted him when he does that.

Mandy_Fish said...

OMG! How did I never notice that Lincoln was sporting an Amish beard?

sporkgasm said...

As a beard lover, I'm with you on both the Amish, and Hasidic Jew beards. I will go ahead and choose neither. However, I would never tell a man what facial hair he's not allowed to sport, as then he'd have a quick retort about how my hair is always disheveled and unkempt.

My ex had the lip beard, which I think trumps the Amish beard, as the worst facial hair of all time. Followed closely by the chin strap. There should be laws.

Lorena said...

I am against beards.
They are unclean. Unsanitary. They should be banned from public places. My dogs have beards, but they are clean and cute. I want a beard.
I think I hd too much coffee-

melifaif said...

Oh my!!!! Yea...the amish beard is quite the sight to behold. In THEE most unattractive way, I might add. LOL at your dad. :)

rach said...

haha make sure to get plenty of pictures of your dad with his amish beard!! not a fan of beards even though hubs has one...sigh.

Lara said...

Your dad sounds stubborn as hell. I love it! Poor mom.
Yeah no... not down with the Amish beard. Now that I think of it, I'm not a big fan of facial hair at all!

SabinePsynopsis said...

Don't want to be rude about dad but I hate beards - they are unattractive, scratchy and accumulate food leftovers... but maybe that's exactly why dad loves it?

Claire Kiefer said...

It's absolutely disgusting. However, my former stepfather once sported a FU MAN CHU and that rivals the Amish beard. Ohhhhhhhh man. Has your dad gotten rid of it yet?!?!

Daniela said...

I love a man with a little stubble - definitely not something as extreme as this! Imagine kissing a guy like that?? Ew.

Dancing Branflake said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA! I hate beards. They just remind me of child molesters.

Alisa said...

I agree, not a fan. Not sure why anyone wears an Amish beard??

Miss Caitlin S. said...

hahaha, the amish beard is pretty gross but does look totally fine on an amish man.

HI-LARIOUS that your Dad kept it on because your Mom was mad, hahaha.

jen said...

Beard+mustache=good
Beard alone=baaaaad...

Amish Beard= look like monkey!!

mermaid gallery said...

say, "NO" to all facial hair....but this is really too much...But, "Why" would anybody like this look? It especially bothers me when teachers have facial hair....as if it's ok to look like an ape around kids.....

Karena said...

Will our parents ever grow up and stop rebelling!?

I am not crazy about facial hair, there just aren't many men who look good with it. Well a few exceptions, not Amish looks though!

Do come and enter the $100 Giveaway from Soft Surroundings on my site!

Xoxo
Karena
Art by Karena

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

Those beards instantly put the wearer on the "don't do" list.

feathermar said...

the most unattractive of the facial hair options?
NOT the amish beard!
It is the SOUL PATCH!
or is it the SOULE PATCH?

Kara said...

Yikes!!! What I find even more creepy (if it's possible) is the back of their hair...that weird, shaved underneath part...*shudder*

NellieVaughn said...

The Amish beard is fine, it's the Amish teeth I have an issue with.

Ioana-Carmen said...

Love it darling!! maybe we can follow each others blog?! XoXo

FashionSpot.ro

Kristine said...

Grotesque. It has to be the ugliest look going. Even worse than the douchey soul patch. It would just smell like old soup all the time. Shudder.

Anne said...

He's made it to his 70's and he's survived raising you kids (not easy as I am dealing with teen and preteen here), he's entitled to grow whatever he feels like growing...only start to panic if he sports Amish Male Bangs.

Trissta said...

Ok, I have to admit. My man friend has a freakishly large beard. However, he does in fact have a mustache to go with it. Also, a shaved head. Ok, maybe it all just does sound a little bit crazy. A lot of bit crazy, however, I still like him despite it.

Much Love,
Trissta

Kathryn said...

I feel bad for your Mom. I had always thought male married Amish grew out the beard not just to show they are taken, but to look unattractive to other women because you would have to be in love to put up with the likes of an ugly beard.

Kitty Stampede said...

LOOOOOOOLLLZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

horrendous. i would be mortified too. men are so weird with their facial hair.

and ewwwww.....that is why it looks so weird, is cause the moustache is missing. i just learnt something today...hahahaha.....

Aline said...

AHAHAHHAHAHAHA so hideous!!

bananas. said...

uhhh what about the amish eyebrow on some of these weirdos?

good lawd!!!

Anonymous said...

Amish men are required to have beards if married. Further, the Amish are pacifists. As such, they're not allowed to sport moustaches or a full set as that is considered to be militaristic. There's a reason for things.

Anonymous said...

I feel like I just stumbled upon a super feminist site. Most bearded guys wash their beards with shampoo and even conditioner. They are not as gross as you make it seem. My beard is probably cleaner and more well groomed than most women's hair.

Anonymous said...

Having just read this whole rant, as a bearded guy (who just got rid of the Tash, tickly thing that grows into my nose!) I'd like to point out one thing.
Most women don't like facial hair.
The minority of men with facial hair is a smaller minority than the minority of women who like it.
This means we are in higher demand.