Tuesday, May 22, 2012

(Almost) Everybody Poops

This is my niece Kira. She is four years old.

Kira

Kira doesn't like to poop. At all. Kira refuses to poop. IT IS A PROBLEM. She does anything she can to avoid pooping. She holds it in. She sits on the floor with her heel in her butt when she feels like she needs to poop. She sits on the toilet with her legs stretched out stiff in front of her, squeezing her butt closed so she won't poop.

When her mom asks her why she doesn't want to poop, she says, "I don't LIKE to poop." And then she says it hurts to poop. Her Mom tells her that if she poops every day (like a normal person), it won't hurt, and that when she holds it in she just makes it worse. Kira doesn't buy it. And when her Mom tells her that you have to poop or YOU WILL DIE, she doesn't buy that either.

So then Kira and her Mom will play a game. Mom will ask her, "Who else poops?" And Kira will list out every single person she knows (and some animals). But she still doesn't want to have anything to do with pooping.

My sister says this issue has been going on for 2.5 years. The longest Kira has gone without pooping is 7 days. SEVEN DAYS.  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  By the time she finally poops it is MASSIVE and it is a butt-cutter, so that just reinforces Kira's thinking that she does not want to poop. IT IS AN ENDLESS CYCLE.

ACK! This freaks me out! It fascinates me! I don't know how to resolve this issue! My sister has tried everything, even enemas. UGH!!!!

Have any of you heard of this type of thing before?  If so, how was it RESOLVED?????


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34 comments:

Claire Kiefer said...

I know that this isn't funny, ultimately, but . . . it's a little funny. It's funny that this blog post may still exist somewhere on the internet 12 years from now and Kira will be mortified. HA!

What a strange conundrum! If she were my child, I would probably sneak her laxative-like things (or laxatives themselves) so that she HAS to go. But maybe her mom has tried that.

Poor lil thing--what a phobia to have!

Trixie said...

MY SON WAS LIKE THAT!!! (good god dont tell him I told you!) He would scream when he felt it coming and he would hold it in as long as he could and then he would RUN like running would get him away from it! Probably lasted for about a year! Eventually he got over it!

Trixie said...

Oh, we gave him prune juice, just a bit, so it wouldn't be um, sorry, hard from holding it in

Lara said...

Oh... poor little thing!
Your body can get dependent on laxatives so, I wouldn't use them too frequently but maybe up the fiber (and water) content in her diet - some Naked Blue Machine juice, blueberry everything, fiber granola bars, high fiber cereal... fiber powder mixed in OJ... anything really to get the poop a-movin!

She's got to grow out of this eventually.

Improbable Joe said...

I did that growing up... and I also had a phobia of pooping in public restrooms. Growing up was AWESOME. And then this one time in the Marines I went like 10 days without a poop. I don't know what changed, but these days I poop at least once a day, sometimes twice.

MarlaD said...

Well...Kira is so CUTE that it seems like she shouldn't have to poop. But since she does, I think she'll outgrow it. I was similar to Improbable Joe up there, growing up, I wouldn't poop outside my own home...that made school rough, as well as made a cross country road trip very memorable for my mom. I...would...not...poop. The doctor told my mom I wouldn't die from it and I'd poop when I couldn't hold it anymore. He was right, and then I eventually outgrew it. Although I'm not weird about it anymore, I still prefer to poop at home. We're all so weird! Welcome to the bunch, Kira!

SabinePsynopsis said...

Oh Kira, she's such a cutie! I've never heard of anything like this and reading the comments it might be just temporary... Maybe she needs to talk 'a non-involved person' to get to the bottom (ha!) of this problem.

Daniela said...

I can imagine how difficult this is for her mom to deal with, but I still can't help but laugh a little. I wish I could give you some advice..but the only thing that comes to mind is an episode of Rugg Rats where Chuckie was afraid to sit on the toilet and Tommy said that the toilet NEEDS your poop and pee - like, it's gotta have it to survive or something (this is about 15 years later so I can't remember exactly!). Tell her to help feed the potty!

Anonymous said...

I don't want to out myself publicly so for the first time I'm going to comment anonymously. Not that it's a big deal, I just don't really want that attention - ha. I used to do this when I was little. The exact thing: hold it in, hold it in. I would go away to summer camp and not go poop the entire time - it was miserable!!!

my parents did everything your sister is doing (and got me that cool book "everybody poops"), but it just took me getting out of the phase myself to make a change. but they had no sympathy for me when I was in pain from after they told me how to alleviate it (my dad is a 'tough love' dad).

assuming it's not life-threatening, I would just let her get through the phase. But- because it can be dangerous, nothing helps a situation like taking away privileges. IE- she has to poop every day the week leading up to her friend's birthday party or she can't go, etc. Good luck! - C in OR

mermaid gallery said...

i guess she just doesn't give a shit......

Adam said...

I guess medicine to make her do so. Never heard of this problem

Tom Tuttle from Tacoma said...

What did the doc have beento say about this?

Tom Tuttle from Tacoma said...

What did the doc have beento say about this?

Kara said...

BRIBERY. Find what she loves (money, candy, Barbies, whatever) and bribe her with it. Like, $2 for each poop she can show her mama in the toilet.

Kara said...

Yep. I did this. I didnt poop for 14 entire days once, when I was a little girl. Pooping was painful, gross and time consuming. It took a lot of time out of my day, time that could be spent torturing my little sister or collecting snail shells in the woods. My mom started stirring Metamucil into my orange juice at breakfast, and that I couldnt hold it in, and it didn't hurt as much. But hey look at the bright side, I was a nonpooper and I grew up into a well adjusted pooping MACHINE! I poop all the time! And then brag about it on the internet... good luck.

cerebral e said...

I love to do a good poop. It feels so good afterward.

Lorena said...

Give her money every time she poops...
You can also feed her something to give her diarrhea then she will have no choice.
God I am awful no wonder I have no kids.

sporkgasm said...

I have seen this a ton, especially in little girls, having worked with kids for a while. It seems like your sibling is doing all they can in having a dialogue and trying to make her daughter more comfortable about it.

Sadly, you just kind of have to wait and hope it passes (pun intended). Has she taken her to a doctor about it? I'm sure she has, but sometimes they can suggest dietary changes, or ways to hydrate them more combined with talking to them that might help. So frustrating. I'm so regular when I hear about people going days it hurts my behind.

Jen said...

I can't... I...????... I have no words as to how fucked up this is. Is there such a thing as a poop therapist?

NellieVaughn said...

This was totally me as a child. My mother told me that every time I refused to have a bowel movement, she would take me the hospital and she meant it. It would still take a few months before I wasn't afraid anymore, but I hated the hospital.

WendyB said...

I'm laughing...I'm told this usually happens with boys more than girls. She's special!

Alisa said...

My son had this problem. Luckily it only lasted for a few months. It was so stressful! We went to the doctor and tried castor oil (I think) I don't really remember, sorry. We did something that forced it to happen, and then it stopped hurting and then he was fine.

I feel for your sister! Maybe try a diet of fruit only smoothies, and she won't be able to hold it in.

Jessica ( frellathon ) said...

Wow weird. I'm sure she'll grow out of it but that's a freaky long time for a phase to last.

When I was a toddler I had a cut on my um girl bits and refused to pee because it hurt so a week went by and by then my belly was distended and my dad throws me in the car ( not literally ) and takes me to the ER they stick me on a kids potty and the nurse just sat there with me talking to me till I relaxed and then bam flood and by flood I mean I filled the whole thing to the rim. That's a lot of tinkle, don't remember it but I've heard that story so many times. It's the only one I have that could relate I'm guessing that once she's around kids more and sees them all going to the bathroom it'll be normal for her but no wonder it hurts if she holds it in like that. Ouchy. I'd say up the fruit and juice intake.

Kids are seriously weird people.

Kathryn said...

Maybe delve into a little more as to why she doesn't like to poop without making a big deal out if it.

Psychologist say it is the loss of seeing a part of themselves flushed down the toilet or for some kids it is the fear of falling in and getting flushed down themselves, or, as another user mentioned above, it takes time to poop and they don't like missing out on what is going on.

If there is other issues to do with pain every time she goes, it could be a minor congenital disorder (my niece had to have minor surgery on her urethra/bladder as she didn't want to pee and opening was too small).

If it is fear of falling sometimes a step stool or a handle installed next to the toilet might help.

If it is missing out on thing, having books to look at while she goes can help.

Selena said...

oh my god this is fucking hilarious. but dangerous i know. i'm CERTAIN that sigmund freud would have something to say about this. what if she had something in the bathroom to play with only when she poops? like a pop-up book or umm...finger paint? OR just put stuff in her food so that her urge to poop is URGENT and she cannot hold it in.

Kitty Stampede said...

Oh Man...poop little one, POOP!!!! that makes me feel sick. she will get it eventually. i wish i had some advice. poor thing.

LOL @ but cutter.....oh geez...hahaha.

Anonymous said...

My brother in law is a surgeon. He deals with "poop" daily. He prescribed to us MiraLax. He said is a good product and no harsh side effects like pain or cramps. You may want to try this with your niece. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

My brother in law is a surgeon. He deals with "poop" daily. He prescribed to us MiraLax. He said is a good product and no harsh side effects like pain or cramps. You may want to try this with your niece. Good luck!

ana b. said...

OH jesus. Okay I have no sensible advice for this situation other than to comment that it is kind of chicke and egg, isn't it? She doesn't like to poo so when she does it's a "buttcutter" (LOL) so of course she has to associate pooing with pain.

Man. She needs to sit down maybe with all the men in the world who spend an hour of every morning sitting on the loo with various newspapers/books/laptops/Ipads. They know the secret to a good poo more than anyone.

See. No sensible advice at all.

Atomic Lola said...

Wow. OK- I can't believe I'm going to go into this but... I was like this. How did I get over it? Embarrassment. My little brother wrote a story about how I hate to poop and turned it in to his second grade teacher. Also, my mom kept taking me to gastrointernologists who made me drink all kinds of oils and other disgusting things. The worst was family vacations when I couldn't hold it anymore and I overflowed the toilet... yes. It was embarrassing, but now- as Kara commented above, I am a pooping machine... a well oiled one at that. Cheers!

in the Queen City said...

Poor child... she will one day realize that pooping is the only quiet/alone time she'll ever get.

Maegan Tintari said...

OMG she's so big now ;)

Ummmmmm.... let me just say that I remember being afraid of pooping when I was in pre-school and held it for a week... but I was more afraid of having diarrhea. Then at the end of the week I made my mom sit in the bathroom with me to help me through it and saying "it wasn't that bad" lol.... story of my life.

I know this is a normal problem though... and I know a kid who was hospitalized because of it. I think she's fine now though.

Maegan Tintari said...

Also... and she's probably thought of this already, but give her lots of foods that make her poop softer, so it just slides right out ahahahahah .... like flax seed oil.... pop those little oil caps and drip em on her food!!! ahahahahahha

Megan said...

Kira is beautiful!!!! I was exactly like Kira when I was her age. I just didn't think it was pleasant or lady like so I held it all of the time. That created bigger problems for me later life and may have contributed to my lifelong struggle with IBS and the c-word when I travel. I agree with Maegan about giving her flax seed oil (Gwyneth Paltrow does this with her kiddos). I think if it were my own child, I would create a chart to track Kira's progress with pooping. Each day she goes to the bathroom, she'd get a gold star and lots of praise! Then if she accumulated a certain amount of stars at the end of the week, she could choose a little treat for herself as a reward.