pic I took at the end of my first printmaking class
Do you ever feel like everything in life is part of a competition? Like everyone is judged by how smart they are, how pretty or handsome they are, where they went to school, where they work, where they live, how much money they make, how they dress, what they drive, who their friends are, if they are married, if they have children, how successful their blog is, how many "likes" they have on their facebook page, how good their alexa score is, etc., and that all are scrambling to be the "winner" in one or more categories of life? I find this annoying. I suppose that competition/the competitive spirit is a HUGE motivator for most, but I think this tactic is obnoxious. I am wise to the competitive mentality, but I have a bit of a contrarian spirit so I normally try and avoid this behavior.
I recently signed up for a printmaking class. I was an art major long ago, but I haven't made any real art in YEARS, so I was nervous for this class. My former art skills are rusty at best, and my confidence level is pretty low in the creative department. But I ponied up and went to the first class on Saturday. I was SUPER nervous for the class. And even more nervous when it turned out there were only three other students in the class. Eek! I am more of a "back of the class" kind of student that likes to keep a low profile, and when I saw the teacher to student ratio I found it very unnerving! I was even more uneasy when I met the instructor -- a woman that seemed cold, irritable and on edge at having to teach four nitwits that knew little or nothing about printmaking. I wanted to bolt from the class, but I stuck with it.
I was SUPER SKITTISH for our first assignment, as I had ZERO ideas of what image to draw for my first print, and I was a bit uncertain of the technique. But I shakily fumbled around and came up with a drawing that I made into a print, and it turned out sort of semi okay. And then I looked at the work that each of the other students produced, and I compared my finished product to theirs. I ASSHOLE-ISHLY came to the conclusion that my fellow students weren't all that talented or skilled -- certainly no more skilled than ME -- and that nobody really presented any COMPETITION to me. And, therefore, I could comfortably stick with the class. How rude to think that! How obnoxious!! Cripes! So if my classmates were super talented I probably would have dropped the class because I was that insecure?!?!? Maybe. Jesus.
Needless to say, I am trying to tamp down this stupid competitive spirit, and just keep attending the class to LEARN FROM IT and to GET THE MOST OUT OF IT. And I am going to try to REFRAIN from comparing my work to my fellow students' work, and worrying if their art is better or worse than mine. Yeesh.
