Friday, January 25, 2013


mi familia
Grandma Louise, R.I.P.
(pictured with dearly departed Grandpa Woodie, plus my mom and my uncle)

I was driving to work early yesterday morning when I got a call from my brother. I knew something was up -- those early morning calls are never good. He said our grandma had passed away in her sleep. Anyone that has ever received news like this knows all about the choking, strangling grief that immediately hits once you hear the news. It is just awful. Suffocating. But what can you do but let the tears flow, try not to be angry at the focacta circle of life bullshit, try not to think about how many years she suffered, try not to think that she is GONE FOREVER, and just try try try to think of all the good things about the one that you loved so much, and that you were lucky to have for so long. And then think back to the last words you said to your loved one, hope they were good, and hope they registered.

I can't help but mention something that does NOT help when you lose a loved one. Idiotic messages left on Facebook such as this one from my sister-in-law do NOT help -- at least they don't help me:

"Today the world lost a gentle, lovely person. But you know what? Heaven gained a beautiful soul! Welcome home, Grandma Louise."

FUCKING HURL. If you are not sure of a person's religious beliefs, or LACK OF RELIGIOUS BELIEFS, perhaps you could put a fucking lid on it. I think it is best to offer condolences, to say how much that person was loved, and perhaps offer a hug or to help. That is enough. No need to talk about an afterlife and God and all that shit -- we don't all share the same beliefs. 

While I am ranting -- I just can't help myself! -- I prefer funerals that celebrate the dearly departed.  My Grandma Anita's funeral filled me with rage.  It was a SERMON.  Nearly nothing was said about MY GRANDMA, the one that died.  WTF?!?!?!?!?  Who does that?!?!?!?!??!?!?!  Unless my grandma (and/or her spouse, my grandpa) SPECIFIED that they wanted the service to be FUCKING SERMON, that sort of thing shouldn't happen.  

Or maybe dealing with grief is too hard for me, and I nitpick and find things to turn my sorrow into rage.  Maybe it is a combo platter.  Probably.   

I know this is a huge downer of a post. So many ups and downs in life. Whaddya gonna do. The thought that I will leave you with is this: I hope to be a grandma someday. One way or another, even though I don't have kids, I hope to be a "grandma" to someone someday! Maybe that sounds crazy. But I think it would be great to be a grandparent. And I would hope to be as good of a grandparent as my Grandma Louise was to me.