Monday, April 8, 2013

Quotes from a 5-year old

Kira January 2013 016
Kira


My sister keeps a running list of quotes from her kids, Jade and Kira.  These lines were uttered by her 5-year old daughter, Kira. 


It's a wonderful world!

He crack-landed on his head!

Mom, these are not yoga pants. They're Karate Kid pants.

We're playing "Evil Girls"! That's what I always wanted to be when I grow up.

Hey Jade wanna play tweety tweety what's snakey?

He was standing there just LOOKING at me. And then he MOVED. (re: a bug)

You just wanted to jerk me up.

I'm a kid! I know EVERYTHING! Except Spanish...and English.

Mom, this is the souriest cherry ever.

Push-ups (in response to the doctor asking her what her favorite exercise is).

Mom, every bone in my body hurts (after her kindergarten shots).

O I love these! But what are they?

You know why I keep stealing stuff from Jade is cuz she bes mean to me.

Fine. Then I'll just stand right here and not love you.

My mouth is getting tired from opening it up. (re: eating dinner)

Mom! Smell my air! (re: her breath)

Mom, my neck, the inside of my neck, is very healthy from this gum.

Mom. Tonight I had the funniest dream. Guys playing football NAKED.

It scared me out to death!

Diabetes are bad for you.

It's a wheelie-chair.

Jade wanna play zombie tag?

I do love you, but I just can't help from being rude to you cuz you bes rude to me all the time (to Jade)

And I'm not talking to you anymore and you're crossed out.

Diarrhea of a Wimpy Kids.

I don't want to go near Hawaii cuz they have volcanoes.

When I first saw that thing my heart plopped out to death.

You guys are the worst parents EVER!!!

I think "nibblet" is Spanish for cat.

This is going to give me a sunburn on my tongue!

I don't believe in zombies, because zombies aren't natural to this country.

So Katy Perry's boyfriend has a peacock!?!

Mom! This morning at recess, when I went out to play, I looked up, in the clouds, and it looked like God's face!!!

Mama, cotton candy is like...cat fur.

Well. I guess I hate my parents.

You mean I'd be all blob? (meaning bald)

Oh hey can you see...? (star spangled banner)

For science, today, Mrs. Foli told us we have to tell our parents to buy us a real animal.

If you were, like, one years old and you got bit by a brown recluse you'd definitely die. And then you'd have to call the graveyard people or the custodian.

I see Francis, I see Paris! (instead of I see Paris, I see France)

Mom, how come Hello Kitty doesn't have a mouth?



Kira May 2012 108

15 comments:

Annabelle Archer said...

AH these are fantastic!

Cheryl Ann said...

your niece is too cute ;) her heart plopped out to death!! hahaha!

ajg-jane said...

My fav.

Fine, I'll just stand here and not love you.

Very smart of your Sister to keep a log. I always thought I'd remember....yeah, that didn't happen.

The Savage said...

"I don't believe in zombies, because zombies aren't natural to this country."

Brilliant!!!

Kana said...

Oh goodness - "heart plopped out to death" was my favorite, too! With permissions from the Niece-Sage, I will be using this. :P

Felicia said...

The best is, "Guys playing football NAKED." And the last question about Hello Kitty is very observant of her.

kathy @ vodka and soda said...

adorable. kids say the cutest and funniest things.

Elle Sees said...

love it! i have 2 nephews who keep me giggling, plus i nanny a 3 year old.

40 is old? Pshhh. I'm 36 and right there with you. We need to start a group because we are unmarried (never married in my case), no kids, and we are amazing. ;)

Lara said...

So great and SO innocent... the best ages... before they know everything, are too cool for school and turn into little assholes.

Trissta said...

I love these so much. Seriously. Kids are the best comic relief.

Much Love,
Trissta

Pearl said...

Ha ha! I wanna play tweety tweety what's snakey!!

Pearl

Dancing Branflake said...

Bwahahahaha! Love this post! She's hilarious! Glad you caught these moments.

Tom Tuttle from Tacoma said...

precious moments :)

Jen said...

THE BEST EVER~

SabinePsynopsis said...

So so good! I regret not having written down more of Sarah's outpourings.