My sister keeps a running list of quotes from her kids, Jade and Kira. These lines were uttered by her 5-year old daughter, Kira.
It's a wonderful world!
He crack-landed on his head!
Mom, these are not yoga pants. They're Karate Kid pants.
We're playing "Evil Girls"! That's what I always wanted to be when I grow up.
Hey Jade wanna play tweety tweety what's snakey?
He was standing there just LOOKING at me. And then he MOVED. (re: a bug)
You just wanted to jerk me up.
I'm a kid! I know EVERYTHING! Except Spanish...and English.
Mom, this is the souriest cherry ever.
Push-ups (in response to the doctor asking her what her favorite exercise is).
Mom, every bone in my body hurts (after her kindergarten shots).
O I love these! But what are they?
You know why I keep stealing stuff from Jade is cuz she bes mean to me.
Fine. Then I'll just stand right here and not love you.
My mouth is getting tired from opening it up. (re: eating dinner)
Mom! Smell my air! (re: her breath)
Mom, my neck, the inside of my neck, is very healthy from this gum.
Mom. Tonight I had the funniest dream. Guys playing football NAKED.
It scared me out to death!
Diabetes are bad for you.
It's a wheelie-chair.
Jade wanna play zombie tag?
I do love you, but I just can't help from being rude to you cuz you bes rude to me all the time (to Jade)
And I'm not talking to you anymore and you're crossed out.
Diarrhea of a Wimpy Kids.
I don't want to go near Hawaii cuz they have volcanoes.
When I first saw that thing my heart plopped out to death.
You guys are the worst parents EVER!!!
I think "nibblet" is Spanish for cat.
This is going to give me a sunburn on my tongue!
I don't believe in zombies, because zombies aren't natural to this country.
So Katy Perry's boyfriend has a peacock!?!
Mom! This morning at recess, when I went out to play, I looked up, in the clouds, and it looked like God's face!!!
Mama, cotton candy is like...cat fur.
Well. I guess I hate my parents.
You mean I'd be all blob? (meaning bald)
Oh hey can you see...? (star spangled banner)
For science, today, Mrs. Foli told us we have to tell our parents to buy us a real animal.
If you were, like, one years old and you got bit by a brown recluse you'd definitely die. And then you'd have to call the graveyard people or the custodian.
I see Francis, I see Paris! (instead of I see Paris, I see France)
Mom, how come Hello Kitty doesn't have a mouth?