Monday, June 17, 2013

Connect the Dots

hospital_room_empty

Late last week the boyfriend went to the emergency room with worrisome pains.  After running tests they discovered that he had a massive kidney stone.  The ER he was at transported him by ambulance to another hospital -- a hospital in East LA that accepted his insurance and was willing/able to perform the procedure he needed.

I am not sure about you, but my mind is always making associations.  My experience with emergency rooms has never been pleasant (lol -- who has a pleasant ER experience?!).  Similarly, my experience with hospitals has mostly been unpleasant and involuntarily triggers unhappy memories of seeing loved ones -- both those that made it and those that didn't -- when they were at their worst.  To make matters even more worrisome, the words "EAST LA" are NEVER not typically associated with the highest quality of ANYTHING, except maybe Mexican food medical care.  Needless to say, all of these past associations combined with my overall worrywart disposition filled me with d-r-e-a-d.  But I kept these thoughts to myself.  

The boyfriend described the procedure (UGH -- I'll spare you that description!!!!) he was going to have, and assured me that it wasn't considered surgery.  That provided some relief to me, but he mentioned that he would have to be put under anesthesia for this particular procedure.  That triggered a horrible memory from the past -- someone I knew went in for knee surgery, and he died on the operating table.  Turns out this man had an enlarged heart that nobody knew about, and it complicated his surgery, resulting in his death.  Needless to say, the thought of any kind of surgery (or "procedure" that requires anesthesia) pretty much freaks me out.  That probably sounds irrational, but I (we?) tend to make associations with our personal experiences in life, whether they are rational/likely to happen or not. 

So...anyway...all sorts of anxieties were coursing through my brain waiting for this stupid procedure to happen. But these are things I kept to myself, because AFTER ALL, the patient is the one that is really experiencing the worst of it, and they don't need to spend their time reassuring everyone and their grandma that things will be fine!!!!!!  The procedure was supposed to take place Friday morning, it was then rescheduled for Friday afternoon, and then they had to postpone the procedure until Saturday morning.  UGH!!!!!  All of that waiting!  NO FUN!!!!!

The boyfriend asked me to be at the hospital on Saturday at 2pm, thinking he would most likely be ready for visitors by then.  So I drove out to East LA early Saturday afternoon, and found the hospital, and nervously made my way inside.  The receptionist told me where to go and I made my way to his room, room 310.  I went in the room and nobody was there.  The bed was made.  It was empty.  Silent.  N-O-T-H-I-N-G. Zip. Zero. No belongings.  No nothing.  NOTHING.  PANIC -- you know that feeling where you can't breathe and you feel like you are drowning, crumbling, imploding, exploding, dying -- FLOODED INTO ME.  I tried to calm down and found a nurse and asked her to re-check which room he was in.  310 was the right room.  So I went back to room 310 and just sat there wondering when someone would confirm the worst. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. About 10 minutes later the boyfriend's mom arrived and assured me the procedure went well, and that he was fine and would be moved back to his room shortly.  OMFG.  Blargh!!!!!  Chalk this up to another stupid and horrifying experience at a hospital (apparently I am MADE for these kinds of things!).  

Bottom line, he was released from the hospital yesterday, and I think he is going to be ok.  All in all a very, very unpleasant experience, but it appears the patient will live.  :]

Side note: Sorry that I prejudged you, East Los Angeles Doctors Hospital. Your hospital was IMMACULATE and well-staffed. Kudos on a job well done. :]

13 comments:

Aline said...

oh man. i hate hospitals too (who doesn't). i'm so glad that he is doing ok. i'm pretty scared about a surgery i'm having next month at huntington hospital. they are both "routine," but surgery always comes with risks!

sporkgasm said...

I have really bad hospital anxiety as well. I am glad the procedure went well. I'm assuming it's the one where they play asteroids in you and try to break up the stone so you can pass it, which is really unpleasant. Sorry you had to get so stressed.

Claire Kiefer said...

I'm just as bad as you are. I got really panicky when I had to go to the hospital recently to get stitches in my hand. I can't help but think: people are dying in this building RIGHT NOW! And like you, it triggers bad memories of past experiences at hospitals. I would have freaked out if I were you, too, but I'm so glad that he's okay (though damn, a massive kidney stone sounds painful)!

Dancing Branflake said...

WORST NIGHTMARE. You go to his room and there's no one there? I couldn't. I just couldn't.

SO happy he's on the mend. You are understandably traumatized.

Lindsey said...

Oh girl! You and I are the same. Thankfully, I haven't been in a hospital room type situation with husbear but I swear to god, every time he is late (whether by plane, train, or car), I IMMMEDIATELY jump to the worst possible scenario. His plane has hit turbulence and was downed somewhere over the pacific. He's trapped between a semi and a cement truck on the interstate. His train derailed and just happened to be carrying a nuclear weapon - all aboard were lost. WHY WHY WHY do we put ourselves through this when we know (most probably anyway) that his cell phone has just run out of juice?!?!? Sorry that your boy had to go through all that but so glad your worst fears weren't realized. It just means you love him ALOT that you worry so much, right?!?!

Kristine said...

Phew!! I'm glad he's okay! And now you can start recovering too! Sorry you guys had to go through that.

Lara said...

omgosh... so glad he's okay and the hospital was up to snuff!
I had a full blown panic attack in a hospital once. My mom was in for pre-op testing for an entire day and we were weaving down windowless hallways to windowless rooms and I just lost it. Tunnel vision, the "wah wah wah" sound in my ears... I found a stairwell and just bawled for a few minutes a got a grip.
D's dad works for the military helping to design and build VA hospitals. There's a lot that goes into the overall feel of newer hospitals, making sure there are plenty of windows, natural light, never feeling like you're going anywhere without having sight of a clear doorway to a small area outside to get some fresh air. I totally appreciate that since apparently, I'm claustrophobic?
And yeah... nothing good comes out of those places.. except for this time! :)

kathy @ vodka and soda said...

hospitals make me anxious too. i'm glad he's ok!

Stoic Tia said...

Well i'm glad he's ok! But that was probably the most depressing thing I've read in awhile! I'm just thinking of you sitting there, all mopey and alone in this AWFUL hospital room, wondering "WHERE THE FUCK IS MY BOYFRIEND???" Drama. Glad thats over for you and me both. I was stressed just reading it.

SabinePsynopsis said...

What a nightmare... No wonder you freaked out when his room was empty. I hope the bf is fully recovering (and doesn't take you through more of these experiences... BAD MAN, how dare he?!!)

Lorena said...

I don't freak out much at hospitals or ERS but i freak with ambulances.
I'm sorry you had to go through all of that... thankfully all went well :)
When I'm in LA I'll now know where to go for good Mexican food.

Elle Sees said...

glad he's ok. i cannot even imagine that moment of panic.

chloe said...

wooo, how scary! glad he's ok, its a terrifying feeling to know your man is going through something like that, and you an't help but think the worst!..

it does funny things to you: when i saw the fiance being wheeled back into his room after routine septum surgery i just fainted clean away, smashed my forehead on the door and ended up in the bed next to him!

here's hoping for more positive experiences from now on! x