Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Barf

Have you heard of Perfect 12 Introductions?  If you need a good laugh, go to their website.  Or just take a look below -- my favorite parts (besides the tag line On a Scale of One to Ten, Our Women are a 12) are in red. 

Perfect 12 Introductions


About the owner....




SIMONA FUSCO our Founder & CEO


Perfect 12 Introductions was founded by Simona Fusco. Simona Fusco is an internationally renown expert matchmaker and America’s most trusted and awarded adviser. As a sought after Media Expert she shares her perspective and advice on relationships and has been featured on CNN, CBS, TLC, KCAL9, FOX News, etc. Simona is frequently seen in magazines and newspapers including Robb Report, Angeleno, San Francisco, Aspen, Esquire, US Weekly, New York Post, Huffington Post, Beverly Hills Magazine, etc., and writes for national publications on relationship advice. She also has a book set for release in 2013.

With her European background, class and sophistication are a given. Born in the fashion mecca of the world, Milan, Italy, and raised in both Europe and the US, Simona started her career as an actress and model, appearing in numerous Films and TV shows as well as gracing the covers of magazines worldwide. Throughout her cinematic career she was exposed to many of the type of executives and beautiful women that she would eventually cater to in her business. Her first experience with a matchmaker was in her early twenties when she met and eventually married legendary Starmaker and Producer Jay Bernstein. After Jay’s untimely death, Simona found love yet again through matchmaking.

After her positive experiences with matchmaking, she began working with some of the world’s top relationship experts. Always pushed by her entrepreneurial spirit, she created her own elite, executive matchmaking service. Her client list quickly grew to include many of the Forbes Fortune 500, hedge fund managers, real estate developers, entrepreneurs, celebrities, dot-com billionaires and CEOs of some of the most prominent companies in the world. 

In recognition of her success, Simona was presented and honored, among other honorees, dignitaries and royalty, by the Mayor of Los Angeles, Mr. Eric Garcetti, with a Global Excellence Award in Women’s Entrepreneurship. Simona was recognized as a Prominent Business Woman and World Renowned Entrepreneur of the year for her achievements and contributions both as a matchmaker and philanthropist.


How We Work

1. To be considered for membership with our elite matchmaking service simply complete our Confidential Information Request Form or call us on our Toll Free number to speak with a Perfect 12 Team member. 855 FIND-LUV (855-346-3588)  

2. Once you submit your Confidential Information Request Form, one of our elite matchmaking service team members will get in touch with you to set up a confidential, complimentary consultation to get to know you and find out exactly what it is you’re looking for in your Perfect 12 and which membership option best fits your lifestyle. We will talk about your lifestyle, personality, interests, values, goals, age preference, religion, education, previous marital status, children, and many other factors that are essential to you.  

3. Once we understand the type of woman you would like to meet, we will establish which membership package best fits your lifestyle and create a “Personal Marketing Campaign” where we conduct your “Custom Tailored Matches” in your chosen locations for those women that adhere to your choice, lifestyle, personality, interest, philosophy and values.  

4. With our Concierge Service we are able to create an exceptional evening for you and your date. From getting you accommodated at the latest gourmet restaurants to an exclusive red carpet movie premiere or A-list mansion party, we will create a first class evening for you. Your date will be pleased to know you’re the man on the town to be with and be seen with.  

5. Through Perfect 12 you will have access to World Renown Relationship Expert and Celebrity Image Consultant Dr. Lillian Glass who has written 15 books on the subject and who’s clients have included celebrities such as Nicolas Cage, Dustin Hoffman, Sean Connery, etc, as well as world leaders, politicians and sports figures. Now through Perfect 12 she’s available to you too!



Is Matchmaking for me?

The answer is YES. Now that you’re successful in business, it’s time to make you a success in your personal life as well. In today’s world matchmaking is as important as having an accountant handle your taxes, a business manager manage your finances, an attorney handle your legal affairs, etc. Why would you leave your love life to a layperson or chance? Online dating is not only dangerous but frequently disappointing. 
 
Who knows who’s really on the other side of your screen. Who are they? What are their intentions? What do they REALLY look like? Hopefully you have grown out of looking for your significant other at a nightclub because that never works out in the long run. The bar scene? Come on. I have yet to meet a woman that likes being approached by a random stranger with some ridiculous pick up line. A Quality woman wouldn’t be caught dead at a bar or a nightclub.
 
If you are thinking that you are not the type of person who would work with a Professional Matchmaker, you are wrong. My clients are all social, very successful professionals who have NO trouble getting their own dates, they just have not yet found that right person with whom to share their lives with. Sometimes circumstances like being preoccupied with career, spending too much time in the wrong relationship and/or being too busy with other obligations make it so you are not where you expected to be in dating or in relationships. 1) Your picker is broken basically, which means you keep falling for the same type of person over and over, even though they’re completely wrong for you. If you feel this way, don’t despair; many people feel exactly the same way. 2) A reputable matchmaker with several successful years in the love business can be the best thing that’s ever happened to you if you’ve come to the realization that you might be the common denominator in the failure of many of your past relationships. They can give you the advice and truth to finally ‘wake you up’ and steer you in a better direction. 3) You’re worried you might wind up on an episode of Dateline NBC? If physical security is at the top of your list and you’ve already experienced your fair share of nutty men/women, then rest assured — knowing that we pre-screen a potential date which allows you to feel that much more safe and open to connecting with someone new. You can have the confidence that we did a background check before getting caught up in a tumultuous relationship. 4) Sometimes you just need a pro. You wouldn’t try to fix your own teeth, would you? You’d go to a dentist, and if by chance you broke your leg, the first thing you’d do is head straight to a doctor. This is your heart, and oftentimes, it needs a bit of help too!

Take me for instance: I was approached by a matchmaker at the young age of 20. I certainly did not think that I needed a matchmaker. How dare they approach me and assume that someone like me needed help?! I am a beautiful, young woman. I have never had a problem getting attention or meeting men however, the type of men that did gravitate towards me were usually of Quantity, not of Quality. I am not the type to go out much and neither do most of my beautiful girlfriends because we have seen and heard it all and are not interested in it. 

Long story short, I gave matchmaking a try. My matchmaker found me not one, but both of my husbands, and then some long term relationships. My first marriage was to legendary Starmaker Jay Bernstein. I know right? Why would HE be with a matchmaker?? He was world renown, famous, attractive, wealthy, he had women galore and managed some of the most beautiful women in the world such as Farrah Fawcett, Suzanne Somers, Linda Hart, Linda Evans, Pamela Anderson, and so on. You can imagine how women literally threw themselves at him. However, even so, he decided that it was time to get real and that life is about QUALITY not QUANTITY. He was at the end of the day HUMAN, just like you and I, and wanted to be loved as a human being not just for being rich, famous and being able to create stars. Unfortunately Jay passed away all too soon. He was the love of my life and honored me with his legacy; our beautiful daughter. Yet, I found love again with one of the most respected top attorneys in the country. How did we meet you ask? Guess. Yes, you guessed right. Through a matchmaker. 

By now I am sure you understand why I got into matchmaking. Not only was it extremely successful for me but it really WORKS. Matchmaking is so important no matter your stature, wealth or fame. At the end of the day, all we want is unconditional love and that my friends, is priceless.

Here at Perfect 12 we screen everyone that applies with our company so that you know that the women you’re matched with are not only beautiful, but complemented by their personality, intelligence and values that you both share. We also offer valuable feedback after each and every date as well as date coaching and our infamous concierge service. Perfect 12 is your one stop for all things needed to turn your match into a lasting, successful realtionship.  After all, your acumen has earned you success in business. Our acumen will bring you success in finding the relationship you have always desired. I am America’s most trusted and experienced adviser to discriminating clients whose most precious assets are their time and reputation.

First Date No No’s


1) Don’t be late on your first date. It’s one thing to run 10 minutes behind but anything much longer than that is just plain disrespectful. It gives the impression of being irresponsible and that your date is not of importance to you.
2) Don’t talk about your ex. If you do, don’t trash-talk them. It comes off as obnoxious and that you are not over them.
 3) Don’t talk about your clock ticking and wanting to get married or wanting children right away. It scares people away and gives the impression of being desperate.
4) Don’t drink more than 2 glasses of alcohol. More makes you loose control over your conversation and inhibitions.
5) Don’t talk about religion in depth. If it comes up, don’t try to persuade your date to believe in your believes more so than the other. It’s a sensitive matter for some and could give the wrong impression.
6) Don’t talk about politics. Again, a sensitive subject especially when you try to push your believes onto others.
7) Don’t brag about the things you have or can do. It’s a turn off. Let your actions speak for themselves. “Actions speak louder than words”.
8) Don’t be rude to the waiter/staff. I always observe how my date treats other people. It shows whether or not you have respect for other people.
9) Don’t talk badly about your mom or dad. It’ll look like you have daddy or mommy issues. Big red flag!
10) Don’t have sex on the first date. A kiss will do. Pace yourself and truly get to know the person first.




BARF!!!!!  THANKS FOR THE LAUGHS!!!!  AND, UHHHH, WHO WAS IN CHARGE OF WRITING THIS SHIT?!?!?! 


If you'd like to see more, here is a link to their website.


8 comments:

Caroline said...

What!? No sex on the first date? I'm out! ;)

Jennifer Fabulous said...

Haha it's probably not a matchmaking service, but really some sort of Frankenstein Stepford Wives factory.

Simona herself looks like a creepy doll. If you threw a marble at her face, it would probably shatter into a million pieces.

There's a horror movie in this website waiting to be screenplayed. Lol.

Jen Vallette said...

A euro trash version of Patty Stengar. Lovely.

cerebral e said...

I would expect a classy operation like this to have better spelling and grammar on their website.

I wonder what her "philanthropy" involves? Matchmaking for poor guys? Or ugly women?

Dancing Branflake said...

You have the best labels ever. hahaha!!!

Lorena said...

I actually read the ENTIRE THING....
it sounds a lot like a cattle auction.

itsCatherine said...

Sweet. Let the douchebags have each other.

Anonymous said...

What surprises me is that women are so vicious to attack a successful woman who actually makes love connections happen. Why is there so much hatred? It seems to me there is a personal vendetta or a serious jealousy problem. Myself, like to empower other successful women. Maybe because I am confident and successful myself but I give Simona 4 thumbs up if I had them! Thank you Simona for making women of education (obviously not the ones that commented) happy and helping them find their love ! I applaud you. From one confident, successful woman to another, HATS OFF TO YOU!