Thursday, January 30, 2014

Big Baby


Happy Baby Rhino




Feeding a Baby Tiger

sexy baby

Big sis

Bigger and bigger

Big Baby

Baby C in the Teacup

baby hippo

Big Brother is Hungry


BIG babies

Baby Face


BIG... small...

Big Baby

The Little Boy With Saucer Eyes...

baby giraffe

baby haven is here....

Gorilla Baby

Have you ever cried at work?

The other day I made a mistake at work.  Rather, I didn't catch the mistake of a third party.  My boss discovered the problem, and that wasn't good.  Horrible, furious, angry, withering ALL CAPS emails were sent to me, and I didn't take it well.  I ended up losing it at work.  Like a big baby, I cried.  Giant, wet, lolling tears spilled down my face.  Repeatedly.  In front of my poor co-workers that didn't really know what to do or say.  

Sadly (pardon the expression!) this isn't the first time I have cried at work.  These are not proud moments, but whaddya gonna do.  If they happen, they happen.

Long ago when I was thirteen years old, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer.  For months my siblings and I didn't know what was going on -- my mom was going to numerous doctor appointments with my dad in tow, and she always came home crying. She locked herself in her room for a long, long time.  And we could hear crying.  Every day.  Every night.  For months.  My dad finally sat all of us kids down and said, "Your Mom has breast cancer.  We think she will die."  It was awful.  Truly, truly awful.  But for some reason I didn't cry.  I held it in.  For YEARS I refused to cry.  Years and years.  I just wanted to be strong and KEEP IT TOGETHER.  But something happened after many years went by, and I figured it was ok to cry again.  Sometimes I think tears/emotions are poison that needs to be let out. So, I allow myself to cry if need be.
On a quasi-cheery note, I was able to get the above-mentioned work mistake corrected.  But I am having a tough time getting over it all.  I have moved on from the SAD stage to the ANGRY stage.  But I'll get over it sooner or later.  Maybe one more good cry (in the comfort of my own HOME) will help me MOVE ON already.

P.S. On an extra cheery note, the doctors were wrong.  My mom survived breast cancer long ago, and is still kickin'.  Which equals tears of joy.  :)


Meghan said...

Wow, i have so much to say to this!
First, I have tried to avoid AT ALL COSTS crying at work, like most everyone else, I'm sure. One time when I lost it, I closed the door to my office and wept at my desk then pulled it together enough to get out of the building and into my car before letting the tears go again. I hate crying at work! I hate it when my work makes me cry!
I agree that crying is a good way to release toxins or bad energy. If I cry during a show or book or something, I usually feel better after a good cry. My husband doesn't understand this at all and is always worried if I cry and he really doesn't seem to understand the benefits.
AND, some of those pictures are shocking. Why are those babies so BIG!?! eek!
And finally I'm so glad to hear your mom is still kickin'!

Kathy @ Vodka and Soda said...

i used to have a hard time crying. then i gave birth and now everything makes me cry!!

Trissta said...

Ok, I have many stories for you. A) I, too, have cried at work. Once. And that's all it took for me to never do it again. I was an emotional mess (my birth control was messing up my hormones and so on and so on) and this one particular football player (I tutor student athletes who remain anonymous) was being SUCH A DICK. Flat out rude and intentionally trying to prod and poke and me through one of my coworkers. It was terrible and I finally got so upset that I went into the bathroom and bawled my eyes out. When I came back, one of my other football players stood up for me and told the other one off, which made me feel a little bit better, but from then on, I always felt like they were watching me, just waiting for me to fall apart again. And that's why I've been determined to never cry at work and to not let the knuckle heads that I work with get to me so much.
On the other hand, I've been so busy lately that it's been a regular occurrence for me to loose it over the littlest of things. My clutch went out on my car a couple weeks ago and I had to deal with that on top of working on my master's project and then working and getting rides from people that I just fell apart on my dad on the phone one night.
I think it's a perfectly normal way to deal with things. Albeit, I do try to retain the tears until I'm either at home or in a safe place. Mostly because I am an UGLY ASS crier.
Things will get better. You always tell me that they will and I'm telling you right back! Things will get so much better and it'll just be water under the bridge... Kinda. But more of like water out of your eyes. And down your nose. And all over your shirt.

Much Love,

WendyB said...

Oh, yeah, I've cried at work! (In my corporate days when there were people to see it!)

cerebral e said...

I encounter a lot of colleagues who are concerned that they will look unprofessional if they cry at work. My theory is that to cry is human. I think it's nice when a human doctor is looking after your/your loved one's cancer/dementia/other shitty illness. A rule of thumb I've learnt over the years is it's okay to cry, as long as you're not crying more than the patient/family members.

Having said that, I think I probably only cry at work once every few years, and usually when I am hormonal and some social injustice (to a patient or their family) has been done.

KaH said...

I am pretty much a big baby all the time. I cry a lot. Super sensitive. Even if I am hearing good news, I tear up... Funny at work, I think people think I am kind of a beotch/tough, but I am really a big emotional mental case. I have cried to my boss (who is a man) countless times (usually personal things). So embarrassing.

Tiffany Kadani said...

It AMAZES me how alike we are. I didn't cry when my grandmother died, not even at her funeral. I think I was too sad and I knew if I started then I wouldn't stop.

I once got yelled at while being a secretary at a medical office. It was someone else'e mistake that was my mistake, too. So I cried. In front of patients and it was horrible.

I still have a fear of crying. I don't like it. I'd rather shrivel up and die then let it out.

Issues, I know.

Maegan Tintari said...

I love this post :)

Anne said...

When shit like this happens at work I get mad and mad don't produce tears.

SweetBonita said...

crying is the literal worst. it feels great if you're alone and can do it without judgement or fear. but crying in front of people? i actually have a phobia about it. and crying at work is on my all time list of things NOT TO DO. it still happend to me though. right in my bosses office. actually two times with two different bosses, where i was in each instance, getting unfairly penalized for things that were not my fault and so grossly unfair that i could not stop my emotion from spilling out my eyeballs and it's a mess; trying to make someone not feel bad for making you cry is exhausting. i say all that to say, it happens to the best of us. (my mom is currently undergoing radiation for breast cancer and i haven't cried about it mainly b/c she's been so super strong and resiliant and awesome about it, that it's just not a subject we cry about in my family)

Jane Droll said...

sweetbonita -- thank you so much for your comment. i hope your mom will be aok soon. hugs to you. for reals.