Thursday, August 14, 2014

Check, Please

check-please

My co-worker and I were talking about the problem of dining out with a group of friends.  You know.  The check shows up and there is always an issue.  The porker that ordered lobster and 5 cocktails suggests that the bill be split evenly -- even though everyone else just ordered a modestly priced meal and a single solitary drink.  Then there is the friend that never puts in enough money and everyone else has to overcompensate for her cheap ass.  Then there is the friend that ALWAYS sends her food back (I'm talking about YOU, Stacey!  Who sends WAFFLES back to the kitchen?!?!?!).  Then there is the friend that thinks a 10% tip is more than enough.  It's annoying.

My co-worker mentioned that she has one friend in her social circle that is invited when the group goes out to eat.  This chick never orders anything.  No food.  No drink.  Just water.  She just sits and talks and drinks her water while everybody else enjoys their food.  And, obviously, she doesn't pitch in when the bill comes.

I think this is HILARIOUS.  Pretty much a social faux pas (or as my dad pronounces it, "fox pox") in my book, but she avoids the bill problems mentioned above. 

My sister told me that a former friend of ours was at a group dinner in a restaurant.  Instead of ordering food and drink like a normal human being, she announced that she was doing a cleanse, and she pulled out her own sack lunch and ate from it.  HELLO TACKY!

Long ago I used to babysit for a family.  They had a nice house.  He made good money.  The wife mentioned that they were all (a family of four) going to the movies, and that she bought a ticket for herself and for the two kids, but that she didn't buy a ticket for the husband. So I asked why. She said, "Oh Michael won't pay to see movies on principle." ?!?!?!? WTF!!!! So each time they would go to the movies, the wife/mom would pay for tickets for herself and the kids, and then go in to the theater and sit.  And then her jerk-off husband Michael would arrive later, and tell the movie people that his wife had already bought his ticket and that he was meeting her inside.  What a jerk.  I can only imagine what he would be like at a restaurant.





9 comments:

Maegan Tintari said...

omfg TO MICHAEL!!! I can't even, omg!! And yes, the restaurant situation is annoying. We used to have a friend who got so annoyed with it, she'd bring a calculator for the people who never put in enough!!! It was so awkward, and we always left more than enough + tip! Pep just told me that in Detroit, the server splits the bill for you, EVERYWHERE, without asking!!! Amazing, right?!

girlunwinding said...

I always like to taste what others at the table have ordered and am more than willing to share a bite of mine. Would that embarrass you or get me uninvited for the next meal out??? I'll even snag a sip of your alcoholic beverage if it looks appealing.. .. I'm shameless and I don't care, lol
~Dawn

Lorena said...

I cannot believe that someone would take their food with them to a restaurant ! I can imagine someone not eating, you know maybe they're out of money or whatever… but we always get stuck with a cheap friend who does not pitch in the right amount.. I know of someone who always has to go to the bathroom when the check comes...

Marla said...

WTF!? Total jerk.

This reminds me…once I went on a first (blind) date that was just awful. He kept saying "you're my type but I can't tell if I'm your type…" (we were in our 40's). I tried to keep the conversation casual, but it was torture. When we finished our meals and the bill came he said, well, it doesn't seem like I'M YOUR TYPE so would you mind paying for your meal? OMFG! (This was after he asked if he could box up my leftovers to take home.) I'm sure I laughed out loud, and I threw down a few twenties to cover the bill. He followed me to the car and tried to hug me. THEN he emailed the next day saying he'd be up for a second date if I was interested.

Ugh!

Anonymous said...

You wouldnt have this problem if you chose good friends. Why do you choose the porker, the cheapskate, and so on? You made your bed with these people, it is on you.

Jane Droll said...

Thanks so much for your comment, Saint Anonymous! Clearly you are of the perfect variety and so are your friends -- IF YOU HAVE ANY.

jennifer from pittsburgh said...

I am one of those people who is very good at doing math in their head when a dollar $ign is in front. I would merely tell everyone what they owed and that would be it. And no, I don't have a lot of friends ;)

Iqbal Hossain said...

I always like to taste what others at the table have ordered and am more than willing to share a bite of mine. Would that embarrass you or get me uninvited for the next meal out???
http://beauty2beautytips.blogspot.com/

Jen@Road Trip Creative said...

I couldn't deal with people like that. Thankfully all my friends are huge eaters and huge drinkers and we all used to wait tables so we tip well.