Thursday, February 27, 2014

Charlie Vs. Dandelion

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!





This reminds me of the story my mom tells about my sister Lisa's struggle to learn how to jump when she was a little kid.  Lisa stood at the edge of the curb by our driveway, clenched her fists by her sides, closed her eyes and tilted her head towards the heavens, and then strained with all of the effort her pint-sized body could muster to try and mentally WILL HERSELF upward. Someone finally pushed her off the curb so she could sort of understand the concept of jumping.





Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Weird Science

weird science andromeda strain


My little sister told me about her friend Bill that was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. I found the story of his treatment to be fascinating/horrifying, so I am sharing it with you....

First they perform surgery to take out the tumor in his thyroid, so Bill ends up with a crazy thin-lined scar right across his throat beneath his adam's apple (he jokes that they tried to decapitate him -- lol). Then they schedule his radiation treatment. They take him into a room, and they take all of his clothes, his phone, everything. The room is a basic hospital room, but there is only one bed in it. There is a television and a bathroom; it seems normal, except the room is sealed tight.

After Bill is shown to his room and LOCKED IN IT, he sits down on the bed and he waits. A little while later two attendants come to his room, and they are wearing full-on hazmat suits. They wheel around this cart with a James Bond-type metal suitcase on it. They tell Bill that he has to open up the case AFTER they leave, and that there is one pill in the case, and that he has to take the pill and buzz them to come get the case after he has taken the pill.

Then the attendants leave the room.  Bill opens up the case, and it is a case within a case within a case within a case -- like a bunch of Russian nesting dolls! He makes his way through the cases and finally gets to a small case, which is made of LEAD. The lead case is so heavy he can barely move the thing.  He opens it up and there is one tiny pill inside. He takes the pill and closes everything back up and buzzes the attendants to come get the case. Then there is a whole scene where he has to PROVE to the attendants that he has taken the damn pill (they didn't want that pill leaving the room!!). When the attendants are convinced that he took the pill, they take the case and leave.

Bill is told that has to stay in this room for about a week.  All he has is a television and a hospital telephone -- no cell phone. He is given books and magazines to read, but like every object he comes in to contact with, they cannot leave the room and they have to be thrown away in a hazmat bin.

Meanwhile, after about being in this room for about 2 hours on DAY ONE, Bill feels like he is going INSANE! BOREDOM! At some point he convinces the attendants that they HAVE to give him his cell phone, and he promises them that he will THROW IT AWAY when he leaves.

Each day during his stay, someone comes to Bill's room in a hazmat suit and provides him with breakfast, lunch and dinner. His food is brought to him on a paper tray with plastic utensils and paper plates / containers (again -- everything he is given is disposable and has to go into the hazmat bin). The people bringing him his food stay for approximately 3 seconds before bolting from the room. Bill only has contact with those that bring him food -- his wife and kids are not allowed to visit him during his stay.

HOW CRAZY IS THAT!!?? YIKES!!!

But I am happy to report that all of his scary treatment apparently did the trick, and Bill is AOK now!

Have YOU ever had any (or heard of any) especially freaky medical treatment?????  Do tell!





Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Ugly Shower Curtains


ugly shower curtain ugly shower curtain

ugly shower curtain ugly shower curtain

ugly shower curtain ugly shower curtain

ugly shower curtain ugly shower curtain

ugly shower curtain ugly shower curtain

ugly shower curtain ugly shower curtain

ugly shower curtain ugly shower curtain

ugly shower curtain ugly shower curtain

ugly shower curtain ugly shower curtain

ugly shower curtain ugly shower curtain

ugly shower curtain ugly shower curtain

ugly shower curtain ugly shower curtain

ugly shower curtain ugly shower curtain

ugly shower curtain ugly shower curtain

ugly shower curtain ugly shower curtain

ugly shower curtain ugly shower curtain

ugly shower curtain ugly shower curtain

ugly shower curtain ugly shower curtain

ugly shower curtain ugly shower curtain

ugly shower curtain ugly shower curtain

ugly shower curtain ugly shower curtain

ugly shower curtain ugly shower curtain

ugly shower curtain ugly shower curtain

ugly shower curtain ugly shower curtain

ugly shower curtain ugly shower curtain

ugly shower curtain ugly shower curtain

ugly shower curtain ugly shower curtain

ugly shower curtain ugly shower curtain

ugly shower curtain ugly shower curtain

ugly shower curtain ugly shower curtain

ugly shower curtain ugly shower curtain

Something about the New Year (not so new now, eh?) made me want to change things.  So I have been doing a bit of semi-affordable redecorating in my place -- new paint, new curtains, new accessories, and with any luck a bit of new (or refurbished) furniture.  It is taking FOREVER -- patience is not my forte, and my funds are not unlimited -- and it is making a mess.  But it is really exciting to spruce up the place that I have lived in for 8 years.  And it doesn't hurt that my neighbor is doing the painting part for me!  Whee!

Being a bit insane, I am so excited for all of these changes that I can hardly sleep at night.  I think about paint colors, pattern ideas, curtain options, art possibilities, etc.  

Fresh paint does a world of good.  But I am not sure that ANY amount of paint will fully transform my rather ugly kitchen and bathroom.  Whaddya gonna do.  I rent, so I work with what I have and try to make it the best that I can.

I was thinking about changing out my clear shower curtain (courtesy of Ikea -- SUPER cheap) (did I mention that I agonize over every little decor decision because I am a picky fuck), and the boyfriend told me I should check out Walmart's selection.  So I did.  HOLYFUCKINGHELL Walmart has some hideous shower curtains for sale!  YEEEE-IKES!!!!!  SEE ABOVE!!!!  If you ever need a good gag gift, one of these might do the trick!