Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Sucker Punched

Cat Fight!


My boss recently returned from a vacation in Australia.  He had a wonderful time and loved Australia, except for a single rather unpleasant incident.  One afternoon he was in the arts district in Melbourne and he heard someone running up behind him.  He turned around to assess the situation, and he saw a young guy that looked out of his mind charging straight towards him at full speed.  My boss was alarmed and started running to get away.  It didn't help.  This guy chased him and caught up to him, and then kicked him in the ass really hard before running away.  ?!?!?!?!?  WTF!!!!  Who does that?!

I have to admit that I laughed when I heard the story (I manage to be incredibly sensitive and yet incredibly INSENSITIVE in life).  Apparently this guy was thought to be on drugs --  ice in particular -- and he was totally out of his mind.  My boss wasn't hurt from the ass kicking -- just stunned, and he screamed, "Assault!  Assault!" after it happened.  He said there were plenty of people in the area, but nobody responded or tried to chase down the perpetrator.   

My boss told this story to his Australian friends and they mentioned that ice is a huge problem in Australia.  I guess they were not surprised to hear it had happened.  The Australians also mentioned that there is currently an issue with sucker punching -- where a stranger just randomly comes up to a person and punches them in the face.  OMFG -- could you imagine?!?!?!?  ACK!!!!   What is wrong with people?!?!  Why would you DO that to someone?  Maybe it is a gang initiation thing?  Or just a DICK thing?  I can't make sense of it.  

I'd like to think that if a random stranger came up to me and kicked me or sucker punched me I would instantly morph into prize fighter stance and serve them up a beat down that they would never forget.  Sadly this probably wouldn't be the case -- the shock must just leave one standing there unable to process what has happened.   

Have you ever been sucker punched or randomly attacked by someone?  The horror!  Thankfully this has never happened to me.  There was one incident several years back that KIND of reminded me my boss' incident.  It was about 5pm and I was walking down Grand Avenue in downtown LA.  I think it was springtime, as it was still light out.  I headed towards a crosswalk and was waiting for the light to change so that I could cross the street.  While waiting, I noticed a creepy, disheveled homeless dude with crazy hair dragging a bag on the ground and walking towards me.  He looked like he was out of his mind.  I kept a wary side eye on him, but didn't think much of the situation.  The next thing I knew he was right up on me.  He grabbed me by the ass -- with both hands -- and pulled me in to him and said, "Let's go home and make tuna casserole together."  ?!?!?!??!?!  I was stunned -- shocked and totally unprepared.  I just stood there looking into his crazy eyes and his crazy face and I froze.  Then he let go, grabbed his bag, and just walked away.  It was a truly bizarre incident, but nothing like being sucker punched in the face!



7 comments:

Marla said...

"Let's go home and make tuna casserole together." OMFG that is hilarious! I know it probably wasn't at the time but from afar - hilarious!

On the sucker punch thing, I think the world is so crazy! It really bothers me that there were people around no one responded. Ack!

Lorena said...

First of all, who the hell shouts "Assault!" - really ?
Fortunately this has not happened to me, however my aunt was riding the NY Subway in the 80s and this guy came up to her and just slapped her in the face and kept on walking. She had never seen the guy.
Now, on your case: OMG I don't know what I would have done !

Megan said...

Your use of descriptive words starting with "ass" about your boss's kicking down under has not gone unnoticed and now has left a painful smile on my face because I can't stop laughing. And I'm sorry you were groped by the homeless dude. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. I wish you'd had some mace handy. Blech.

KaH said...

Awful! Awful... My friend, you were sexually assualted my a homeless man.
A few summers ago, I was walking my dog at 7am in the morning on Comm Ave, which a major street in Boston. I was attacked by a drug addict who apparently was running around all night groping people. Completely, a crazy man. So, anyway, I tried to get away from him and he ran up to me and grabbed onto me etc. I DID turn into a prize fighter that day and kicked his ass. We got into fisticuffs right there on the street. People were screaming. So, anyway, the cops etc said I was sexually assaulted cause he grabbed my ass. Who knew? I didn't feel so victimized because I fought back. Moral. Carry Mace!

diane said...

Still on my first cup of coffee and trying to process all of this. It's never good when someone goes after someone else. Thankfully, it's rare. Most people just smile and say hello. I've never heard of ice, but I'm going to google it.

jorg wobblington lopez said...

I was outside the casino once smoking a cigarette. I had had a few drinks and was talking to native americans. One of the native Americans walked up beside me, said "Excuse me," and punched me in the face. I didn't know it was a thing until now. I think he expected to knock me out, but his fist kind of glanced off my lower teeth and I got a fat lip. There were so many natives Americans there and I was in no condition to fight back so I ran into the casino shouting, "O NO! O NO! O NO!" Cause I thought they were all going to get me. Not very elegant, but at least they didn't rob me, and I was so angry after. What a cheap thing to do.

Rowena said...

It's incidents like these that make me grateful for living under rock (so to speak). Homeless guy.....ewwww!