Friday, January 8, 2016

Just Random Babbling

Well well well.  Happy 2016!  It's been a while.  Anything new?  Anything fab?  

I don't have anything super duper exciting to relate.  Sorry!  But all is well.  Here are a few random updates/thoughts/weird things/matters of no consequence....

I spent a few days over the holidays with my family, and I even got to hang out with my nieces.  At one point, my eight-year old niece Kira got ahold of a balloon and she kept blowing it up and releasing it so that it would fly/fart around the room.  She did this about a thousand times in a row, and it was driving me nuts.  I had just finished eating a piece of pecan pie and had set my plate and fork down when Kira blew up the balloon again for the upteenth time, let it go, and it farted its way across the room and sailed right into my lap.  Without thinking much, I picked up the soggy balloon, grabbed my fork and PUNCTURED IT, putting a pretty quick end to Kira's fun.  She was horrified.  She grabbed the mutilated balloon and repeatedly tried to blow life into it -- no go -- which made me laugh.  Needless to say, I am not going to win any Aunt of the Year awards.  Note: I bought her a packet of balloons to try and make up for my "mean aunt" moment.

At one point during family time, my oldest sister (the one that drives me nuts) wanted to talk to me about her recent trip to New York.  She launched in to how much she had loved New York, and then asked me if I had ever taken The YOUBER.  Huh?  She said, "You know, The YOUBER.  Instead of taxis.  They have great rates.  You HAVE to try The YOUBER!!"  Jesus H. Christ.  I just couldn't correct her mispronunciation -- she wouldn't have taken it well.  Please note that this is the sister that studied German in high school.  How could you pronounce UBER as YOUBER?!?!?!?  Born in a barn, I tell ya.  

I received many nice gifts for Christmas.  Good stuff.  But the one perplexing gift came in a ring box, courtesy of the boyfriend.  I opened it up and it was a miniature plastic penis.  About an inch long.  He looked at me when I opened it and proudly proclaimed that it was a miniature replica of his penis.  Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.  ?!?!??!?!?!?  He explained that he had sent photos of his penis to some stupid company that manufactures these tiny penises. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.  I didn't say much.  Truly speechless.  WTF am I supposed to do with it?! 

With the new year I have been in a fit of reorganization at home.  I don't think of myself as a HOARDER, but I have so much stuff.  It is insane.  I am trying to weed out the unnecessary items and get everything else organized.  It's been a monumental effort.  But my latest dilemma surrounding this that many items are organized, they are tucked away and I don't see them and I feel like I will forget about them and not GET TO THEM.  This mostly pertains to crafts, projects, art-making, books, etc.  I used to have everything lying about hoping that it would trigger me to get involved with it.  Now?  It's all squirreled away and I feel like I will forget about it and never get anything done.  No win!  Maybe I should just make lists that reminds me of things that I need to do?  I guess.  The organization vs. production battle begins.

Returning to work after a week off has been a bit tough.  Vacation was so nice, fun and relaxing, and then SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEECH, turn hard right and return to work.  Sigh.  Whaddya gonna do.  To make matters worse, I have this stupid unsightly zit atop of my lip.  It is very noticeable.  Very unattractive.  Whenever anybody talks to me, I can see their eyes roam to the zit.  Worse than that, one of my co-workers licks his lips every time he comes over to talk to me.  Sort of like a subtle hint...hey, you know you have something above your lip? UM, YES I KNOW!  I have noticed people do this thing so often -- if you have a wiggly double chin they will watch it as you talk.  If your belly isn't completely flat they will stare at it, noting your less than perfect form.  If your roots are showing and you need to get your hair done, they will stare at your part and all but cluck in disapproval.  Annoying.  Pretty sure I am guilty of the same irritating behavior.  We have a really "important" wealthy client that has a crazy crazy trail of broken capillaries and spider veins on his nose.  Last time I was talking to him I must have inadvertently stared at his nose, because at one point he covered it with the price list he was looking at while he continued talking to me.  :/  So....note to self...try not to stare at imperfections. 

I have been listening to a lot of podcasts and audiobooks lately.  Podcasts are ok.  Sometimes they just feel like a lot of BLATHER -- people talking on and on about themselves and promoting themselves and trying, trying, trying to get some attention [note: I have the same thoughts about social media, blogs, etc. and I realize I am part of this problem too.  This annoys me.].  Sometimes it is entertaining.  Sometimes not.  Every now and again I hear a little something that is interesting to think about.  Gloria Steinem was on Marc Maron's WTF podcast recently.  The interview was ok.  Nothing really fascinating, but ok.  At one point she said that people who write are people who would rather write than blab talk.  For some reason I liked that a lot.

Have you seen The Revenant?  Crimony!!!  I don't even know what to say except the BEAR part was insane.  I have a thing for Tom Hardy (not so much in this movie, AT ALL -- and I recently heard someone complain that he overacts, which might have some truth to it, particularly in this movie :/), but he wasn't the star of this movie by any means.  It was the Leo show.  He was great in it. 

Yesterday my co-worker (age 27) used the phrase "hasta la vista, baby" and then asked where that phrase came from.  Before I had a chance to blurt out the answer, she said, "Oh! I know!  It's from James Bond."  It all made me laugh, and I didn't have the heart to correct her.

Well ANYWAY, Happy New Year!  :)


Lorena said...

Seems like you and I would have to battle over the Worst AUNT prize :)
Here its been the pits, but I am pulling through - or at least trying to.

jennifer from pittsburgh said...

Any, ANY excuse to take a picture of his junk and send it off to some poor slob who then grabs a penis from a box of assorted preformed penises and then Merry Christmas! Nothing says I put zero thought into this gift than a tiny penis.

KaH said...

Tiny Peen! Dying... I thought guys didn't like the word tiny in the same sentence with their stuff. Next year you should send a tiny replica of yours!