The other day I was by myself at the gallery and a really
self- important, wealthy collector came in to look at the art. He stops by the gallery fairly often, and for some reason he likes to chat with me.
I was trotting him around to look at the art, when we stopped in front of a painting with a giraffe in it. He looked at the painting and said, "Did you know that 85% of giraffes are gay?" I blinked and said, "Cite your source, and does the same apply to the rest of the animal kingdom?" He laughed and then said, "Well you know that I am gay, right?" I really didn't know what to say.
P.S. Maybe this is his source.
P.S. Maybe this is his source.
I had my hair done a couple of weekends ago. Marcos, the guy doing my hair color said, "You know my friend Julio? The chunky Mexican guy that works here?" I nodded my head. Marcos replied, "Well, they found him dead last week. He was living in the spare bedroom of one of his (wealthy) clients. She hadn't seen him in a while and went to check on him. She went into his bathroom and found him dead in the bathtub. Blood was everywhere. We really don't know what happened, and we won't know the cause of death until the coroner's report is released." I exclaimed how horrifying and sad that was (Julio was not even 40 years old yet), and told Marcos how sorry I was to hear about it. Marcos replied, "As if losing my friend wasn't bad enough -- when I talked to the the woman -- you know, the client that let him live in her house? She complained that it was going to cost $3,500 for a HAZMAT team to clean up the bloody mess, and then she had the nerve to add, 'And you BETTER have my hair color formula on file.'"
I went to the dentist last week for a cleaning and x-rays (and found out I needed a root canal. GAH. It isn't the worst thing in the world, but the $2,200 bill has me so depressed.) The hygienist was nice, friendly, and a total Chatty Cathy. So I asked her questions. I told her that at some point I had read or heard that if dental plaque builds up, it ends up being swallowed and going straight to the heart where it can build up and cause many problems. She confirmed that this was true, and basically explained that dental plaque is comprised of food, saliva, and BACTERIA. Hurl. I had no idea about the bacteria part. She said many people skip dental cleanings and have no clue of the grave consequences that can result. I found all of this rather interesting, and she went on (and on) to tell me more....like many patients don't want to disclose their medical history at the dentist's office because it is personal, private information that they don't want to share. She went on to say that this can be dangerous. For instance, if a person has recently had surgery and their immune system is weak/vulnerable, they really MUST let the dentist know prior to treatment because plaque removal can release bacteria into their system during a cleaning (via all the scraping and such that goes on during a cleaning, as some of it invariably slides down the throat during the process), which can have dire consequences if your system is already compromised. She said that when dentists KNOW about these types of situations in advance, they give the patient an antibiotic an hour before their cleaning/dental work to prevent problems. Muy interesante. THEN she told me she was recently at a seminar where they were discussing plaque, etc., and the speaker said that most people with pets just rinse out and refill their pet's water dishes, rarely or never fully CLEANING them, which is a terrible idea. (GUILTY). ?!?!??!?!??!?!?! The problem being that as the pet drinks water, backwash (dental plaque/bacteria) slops in and out of the mouth and bowl, and is constantly being swallowed/regurgitated, repeat. Not good. So...note to self, don't just rinse out your pet's water bowl -- wash it at least once a week with soap and water as you would any dirty dish. I guess this also means that we need to get our pet's teeth cleaned?! FUCK.
The other day I bought tickets to see this band in concert. I was pretty excited and told my (much younger) co-worker about it. She asked me who I was going to see, and I told her. When she heard the band name, she said, "Oh I know who they are. I think my parents like them." GROAN. Some things make you feel so O-L-D.
In other news, I hear Twitter is dying, blogs & Facebook are pretty much going the way of MySpace (unless the hosts are super popular, which clearly isn't the case here), and that Instagram has become passe. So I wonder what's next. Yawn. I just can't muster up the energy/interest in Snapchat. Meh. Enough. Not sure about you, but I have been reading more and making stuff (and, truthfully, watching more TV too -- lol). I was at Trader Joe's over the weekend. The cashier randomly told me that she was going to a book club meeting after her shift. I asked her if audio books counted, and she scoffed, firmly saying, "NO, they DO NOT count." So apparently I am guilty of another faux pas as I both enjoy reading books, AND listening to audio books. Whatever. So this all confirms that I am perpetually behind/not on-trend. Yawn. Who cares.