I have been listening to a lot of audiobooks lately. I just check them out from my local library -- it's a free and absolutely fabulous way to entertain myself + distract myself from my stupid work commute.
I recently checked out the audiobook The Intern's Handbook by John Lago and was listening to it and absolutely LOVING IT, when I noticed that disk two was missing. @$%^!@&*!@#%^. Since I am only interested in reading/watching/listening to things that I really like in their ENTIRETY, I returned the audiobook with the missing disc in the library's night dropbox.
The next morning I received a rather threatening voicemail message that went something like this: "This is _______ from the ___ _______ library branch. You returned The Intern's Handbook: A John Lago Thriller in our night drop box. You didn't return disc two. You have until the 28th to return the missing disk." CLICK. ?!?!?!??!?!?!
So I called the library to tell them that disc two was missing when I received the audiobook, and the man that answered the phone (pretty sure it was the same dude that left the nasty message) said that I'd have to
plead my case explain my situation to the head librarian. So he transferred me over to the head librarian -- I believe her name was BUNNY -- and I explained what happened. She listened in silence and there was a gigantic pause after I stopped talking. She finally exhaled and said, "This all could have been avoided if you had just been honest and explained the situation in person." !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY FUCKING SHIT, A LIBRARIAN WAS SCOLDING ME!!!!!!!! It took all of my willpower NOT to say, "This all could have been avoided if shit-for-brains at the check out desk HAD INSPECTED IT BEFORE HE GAVE IT TO ME AND MADE SURE ALL DISCS WERE ACCOUNTED FOR!!!! But I held my indignation in check because I didn't want my library privileges revoked. So I sucked in my breath, apologized and the librarian sighed and said she considered the case closed.
Fast forward a couple of months later and I received another threatening voicemail message from the same library dude, stating that they had received an audiobook return from me in their night dropbox, and that a disc was missing. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am absolutely certain that I returned all of the discs. I am very, very careful about this, particularly given recent history with this library! So I stopped by the library to talk to them about it, and this is basically what the clerk said, "There is a disc missing. All we want is the missing disc. I don't know what you are going to do, but one way or another you need to give us the missing disc. Buy it on Amazon. Or Ebay. Or somewhere. Just do whatever you have to do to get us the missing disc." !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I had to hunt all over tarnation for this damn audiobook (of course it was an absolutely HORRIBLE audiobook, quite possibly the worst one I have ever checked out). I finally found a copy of it on Ebay in Australia and had to pay $26 for it. It took about 10 days to receive it, and I dropped it off with the librarian and everything is fine again, except I am out $26 and I'm pretty sure that little shit front desk clerk has it out for me. So I no longer go to this particular library branch, even though it is just blocks from my home. Argh.
To end this post on a high note, I am going to recommend a book to you: Fup by Jim Dodge. When I read a book or listen to an audiobook or watch a movie or a tv show, I want to LOVE it. Absolutely adore it. This rarely happens. But this book? It is the best book that I have read in a long, long, time. I just loved it. It is one of those books where you are so excited to read every single word -- you just savor it. You want to find out what happens, and you are filled with regret that the story will inevitably END. And of course it did end, and I practically clutched it to my heart after I finished it. In fact I loved it so much that I wanted to KEEP the actual book that I had checked out from the library (the one pictured below), but I reluctantly returned it. And I ended up ordering a used copy of it from Amazon, just so that I could read it again and share it with others.
Check it out at a library if/when you get a chance, and let me know if you like it. :)
P.S. From now on I only return my library books and audiobooks in person. NO MORE MISUNDERSTANDINGS/THREATS/FINES are in my future, LAPL. :)